Love: Lonely - FML

Lonely

By Anonymous - 13/01/2012 03:50 - United States

Today, I left my empty shower running so I could pretend I didn't still live alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 697

You deserved it 29 976

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By liynda - 06/05/2011 01:49 - Canada

Today, I knocked on the door of the bathroom to make sure nobody was in there before I walked in. Then I remembered I live alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 074

You deserved it 15 575

By Username - 14/03/2011 06:53

Today, my ex-girlfriend moved out. I came back to a sparsely furnished home; she'd even taken the shower head, my beard trimmer, and the soap from the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 090

You deserved it 5 662

By lonesome - 15/12/2014 03:22 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I was so lonely, I tried to get into bed noiselessly while pretending I had a boyfriend asleep in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 561

You deserved it 6 244

By wtfisgoingon - 28/04/2013 10:30 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was in the middle of having a shower when I noticed a camera hidden in the corner of the room pointing directly towards the shower which I stood in butt-naked. I live by myself and have recently only moved in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 358

You deserved it 3 720

By Fire_Crotch - 14/08/2010 06:27 - Canada

Today, I turned the shower on the hottest setting so it would warm up quickly. I started to sing and dance around the bathroom. I got too carried away and pelvic thrusted the water, which I hadn't turned back down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 858

You deserved it 48 721

By youlovewaffles - 03/08/2019 04:00

Today, I was talking to myself in the shower, pretending I was Oprah. After I got out, my little brother asked if I was singing in the bathroom. I almost said no, but admitting to singing seemed a lot less embarrassing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 267

You deserved it 435

By HomeAlone - 24/04/2016 04:45 - United States

Today, I went into the bathroom and got angry upon finding that once again, no one had bothered to put on a new roll of toilet paper. And then I remembered that I live alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 880

You deserved it 21 304

Time to move

By Anonymous - 05/05/2021 06:01

Today, after taking a shower, I realised that my landlord was peeking in the whole time through broken ventilator. Once he tried to get into my room, using his keys. I couldn't tell the landlord's wife, as I didn't have any proof so I left the house, even though my rent was long due. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 166

You deserved it 119

By Anonymous - 13/05/2012 15:12 - United States - Monson

Today, I realized that all the times I checked behind the shower curtain before peeing didn't prepare me for what to do if someone was actually there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 913

You deserved it 4 064

Brain fart

By jonjon - 13/06/2010 13:16 - United States

Today, after spending the evening with friends, I went home and realized that the living room light was on. Thinking someone was robbing me, I hid behind a bush. I got impatient and crept up to the door. Then I remembered that I'd left the light on before I left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 961

You deserved it 47 320

Next

Top comments

LawSixx 11

Friday 13 January 2012 8:52

What a way to waste water as well.

kareltje 17

Friday 13 January 2012 8:52

WTF? Don't be so selfish! Think about the environment, dude! ;) I'll get me coat...

Comments

aceofspace320 5

Friday 13 January 2012 13:52

Ok I agree it does seem to be an awful waste of water, but I know what it feels like to be alone so I know it drives u to do stupid things. U get selfish because when u feel like no one gives a damn about u, u just have to do it urself! Look fr a roommate dude

McDonaldsworker 4

Friday 13 January 2012 14:04

Hey WTF man! Five minutes of water from the shower is enough water to last a small drought stricken village in Africa for a month!!! Why did you steal water from them! Stealing from black people is wrong!

McDonaldsworker 4

Friday 13 January 2012 14:06

Uhh opps, I mean stealing from any person is wrong not just black people, is there any way I can edit my comment?!?

kei1108 13

Friday 13 January 2012 14:46

Instead of Wasting water, and money, get a roomate!!

grands138 4

Friday 13 January 2012 14:48

Maybe spend less time on FML and more time trying to meet new people? PS - Whiners are wieners.

Akharr01 5

Friday 13 January 2012 15:00

Looks like your " room mate" ran your Water bill up!!

maphineRAWRS 10

Friday 13 January 2012 15:06

Meanwhile paying for another persons shower, further implementing the illusion of not being alone, I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE!

HogwartsDropout7 0

Friday 13 January 2012 15:12

Now you can pay a water bill that is the cost of two people.

Pelreskovich 11

Friday 13 January 2012 16:12

Yay more money on the water bill because you leave it running instead of getting ready after that shower to go find someone at the clubs or something..

Lexi9312 5

Friday 13 January 2012 16:13

Seriously? Just get a puppy you'll be fine. But leaving the shower running won't make you feel any better. Especially when your water bill comes. But good luck(:

Smashley91 2

Friday 13 January 2012 16:19

awww :'(

2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird Dating AITA Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Fight

The Top

Today, I told my son to get a job and start paying rent. Five minutes later he transferred me rent for the next 5 years. When I demanded to know where he got that kind of money, he showed me his bank statements. He’s made more money mining Bitcoin than I’ve made in 15 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 273

You deserved it 1 363

Today, I went to my room to find my girlfriend on the floor, butt up, with her pants down. I elatedly took the invitation and dropped my pants too, only for her to tell me, "Not so fast champ, I'm trying to force some farts out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 092

You deserved it 471

The Top

Today, trying to get some much needed rest, I heard my neighbors fighting loudly. When they finally quit, they left a DVD on, directly behind my wall: Spongebob, with the menu tune on loop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 222

You deserved it 3 869

Today, I reached into my wardrobe to get ready for the day, when something hairy tickled my hand. Imagine my shock seeing a fully-grown wolf spider staring me down from a coat hanger. I grabbed the can of bug spray and let him have it. Half the can later, I now need to re-wash my entire closet. Damn arachnophobia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 837

You deserved it 420

Today, after my fiancee gave me $100 to spend at the garden center as my Mother's Day gift, when I was on my way home from the center, he called and yelled at me because I didn't get what he wanted me to get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 687

You deserved it 151

Today, I had to show my ID to prove I was over 18. I was buying teaspoons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 116

You deserved it 2 009

Today, my boyfriend sneaked into my room, not knowing I wasn't home. It would have been great, except my dad went in my room to put laundry away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 253

You deserved it 433

Today, I found out that my husband has been seeing another woman and my 16 year-old daughter once caught them while I was at work. She didn’t tell me about it because she was enjoying all the hush gifts, shoes, purses, and the payments for her BMW X3. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 278

You deserved it 163