Love: Lonely - FML

Lonely

By Anonymous - 13/01/2012 03:50 - United States

Today, I left my empty shower running so I could pretend I didn't still live alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 697

You deserved it 29 976

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Same thing different taste

By liynda - 06/05/2011 01:49 - Canada

Today, I knocked on the door of the bathroom to make sure nobody was in there before I walked in. Then I remembered I live alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 074

You deserved it 15 575

By Username - 14/03/2011 06:53

Today, my ex-girlfriend moved out. I came back to a sparsely furnished home; she'd even taken the shower head, my beard trimmer, and the soap from the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 090

You deserved it 5 662

By lonesome - 15/12/2014 03:22 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I was so lonely, I tried to get into bed noiselessly while pretending I had a boyfriend asleep in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 561

You deserved it 6 244

By wtfisgoingon - 28/04/2013 10:30 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was in the middle of having a shower when I noticed a camera hidden in the corner of the room pointing directly towards the shower which I stood in butt-naked. I live by myself and have recently only moved in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 358

You deserved it 3 720

By Fire_Crotch - 14/08/2010 06:27 - Canada

Today, I turned the shower on the hottest setting so it would warm up quickly. I started to sing and dance around the bathroom. I got too carried away and pelvic thrusted the water, which I hadn't turned back down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 858

You deserved it 48 721

By youlovewaffles - 03/08/2019 04:00

Today, I was talking to myself in the shower, pretending I was Oprah. After I got out, my little brother asked if I was singing in the bathroom. I almost said no, but admitting to singing seemed a lot less embarrassing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 267

You deserved it 435

By HomeAlone - 24/04/2016 04:45 - United States

Today, I went into the bathroom and got angry upon finding that once again, no one had bothered to put on a new roll of toilet paper. And then I remembered that I live alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 880

You deserved it 21 304

Time to move

By Anonymous - 05/05/2021 06:01

Today, after taking a shower, I realised that my landlord was peeking in the whole time through broken ventilator. Once he tried to get into my room, using his keys. I couldn't tell the landlord's wife, as I didn't have any proof so I left the house, even though my rent was long due. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 166

You deserved it 119

By Anonymous - 13/05/2012 15:12 - United States - Monson

Today, I realized that all the times I checked behind the shower curtain before peeing didn't prepare me for what to do if someone was actually there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 913

You deserved it 4 064

Brain fart

By jonjon - 13/06/2010 13:16 - United States

Today, after spending the evening with friends, I went home and realized that the living room light was on. Thinking someone was robbing me, I hid behind a bush. I got impatient and crept up to the door. Then I remembered that I'd left the light on before I left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 961

You deserved it 47 320

Next

Top comments

LawSixx 11

Friday 13 January 2012 8:52

What a way to waste water as well.

kareltje 17

Friday 13 January 2012 8:52

WTF? Don't be so selfish! Think about the environment, dude! ;) I'll get me coat...

Comments

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Friday 13 January 2012 19:21

Wow your water bill will be through the roof and for a totally pathetic reason. YDI

AllyyK 9

Friday 13 January 2012 19:28

I think OP is probably the creeper who took his date to meet his parents on the 2nd date and told her that he loves her, and she wrote an FML about it. It all makes sense! He's a creep and that's why he lives alone lol. So now he has to pretend he's not alone because she stopped answering his calls. Haha it all fits!

2amkid 0

Friday 13 January 2012 19:46

thats so sad

sjhill 32

Friday 13 January 2012 19:53

Such a waste of water! Go out and find someone!

Tdevonner 0

Friday 13 January 2012 20:09

I never understood how it was possible to wastr water...i mean from back in the day didnt adam n eve drink the water, piss it out, n then half got filtered thru the ground n the other half thru evaporation n now we're still drinking their piss? Where is the water disappearing to?

bizarre_ftw 21

Friday 13 January 2012 20:35

The environment thanks you

sophia_melo 11

Friday 13 January 2012 20:45

Can't you find a more ecological way to pretend that?

BreeLikesTea 0

Friday 13 January 2012 21:07

have fun with that water bill

megotswag 0

Friday 13 January 2012 21:25

Aww go buy some cats to keep you company for a while.

Fylminesawsome 5

Friday 13 January 2012 23:14

How freaked out would you have been if the shower suddenly stopped, or some guy came out of the bathroom just wearing a towel??

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Keywords

Cheating Love Relatable Work Money My ex Jealousy Accident Health Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Am I overreacting? Relationship advice Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I came home early from business trip to Paris, where I bought an engagement ring. I was going to take my girlfriend of two years out and propose to her. I sneaked into our house as a surprise and… she was having sex with another man. Now I have a ring that I can only return in France. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 490

You deserved it 4 181

Today, I’ve been getting a lot of strange messages from guys on the dating site I use, then I realised why: on my profile pic I'm sat down and you can see my nice underwear up my skirt. That explains the messages, they thought I was trolling for men to hump and dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 980

The Top

Today, I was trying to keep myself occupied due to my recent breakup. I was reading this book someone gave me about animal communication, so after a while, I figured I'd give it a shot. Then it dawned on me; I'm single, at home on a Friday night, and I'm trying to talk to my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 806

You deserved it 7 173

Today, I learned that if you make fun of a man for walking with a cane, you'd better be ready for him to hit you with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 345

You deserved it 172 000

Today, a customer limped over to me in one of the dishwasher aisles and asked if we sold dishwashers. I said yes and pointed at all the dishwashers. He looked around for a couple of seconds, belched, then said "Oh... right!" and walked off. No commission for me, then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 480

You deserved it 4 160

Today, I checked into a hotel because my boss had assigned me to a new position. As soon as the reception lady looked up, she had me kicked out of the hotel. Apparently, one of the regulations is, "No prostitutes allowed." I was wearing a business suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 832

You deserved it 4 364

Today, I forbade a student in the writing seminar I instructed from continuing to present his disturbing poems about demons. He responded to this by convincing nearly every other student in the seminar to write and read out loud several of his poems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 008

You deserved it 8 617

Today, I was promised that I wouldn't have to work late because I had tomorrow off for my birthday. My coworkers decided that none of them want to work late, and that I could do it. So I am stuck working late and have to come in on my birthday, which I had requested off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 244

You deserved it 241