Sex, Creepy, Wanker, Spiders and Intimacy: Love is love

Love is love

By SpiderMan - 12/03/2009 00:23 - United States

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor… and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 471

You deserved it 106 815

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Same thing different taste

Troubling

By Anonymous - 15/12/2010 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, whilst pleasuring myself in my bedroom, I began absent-mindedly staring at a spider on the ceiling. It wasn't until the point of climax that I realised that I was, in effect, masturbating over a spider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 480

You deserved it 23 291

Hey there little buddy

By Anonymous - 07/02/2023 01:00 - Finland

Today, I was in my bed masturbating when I felt something on my chest. I looked down to see a spider running around. I'm super scared of spiders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 940

You deserved it 239

By yuckspider - 20/04/2009 00:17 - United States

Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 324

You deserved it 7 652

By Anonymous - 05/09/2015 02:22 - United States - Purchase

Today, I was having a relaxing "wank", as they might say on Doctor Who, when a large spider descended from its web and came practically eye-to-eye with me. I screamed like a bitch and fell off my bed, pants around my ankles. Then my sister ran in to see what was wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 603

You deserved it 9 163

By jrocks - 19/05/2009 17:06 - United States

Today, as I was watching a DVD, I noticed a spider crawling on my crotch area. So, I panicked and smashed the spider, smashing my nuts in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 881

You deserved it 70 626

By dickwebs - 22/11/2010 03:42 - Germany

Today, I was taking off my underwear to change into fresh clothes. Pulling them down, I realize there's a big fat spider in them. Not only did I have a spider chilling with my genitals the whole day, but I'm deathly afraid of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 972

You deserved it 5 238

By jillydark6609 - 19/09/2010 06:21 - United States

Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 287

You deserved it 14 264

By thatsnotacat - 21/11/2013 17:52 - Australia - West End

Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 524

You deserved it 3 359

By Arachnaphobic - 22/11/2009 08:35 - United States

Today, when putting something away on a high shelf, something small and black fell down my cleavage. I thought nothing of it and finished the task at hand. When I pulled out the neck of my shirt later to find it and looked down, glaring up at me from my boobs was a large, disgruntled spider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 272

You deserved it 4 807

Been here long?

By Anonymous - 14/10/2022 14:00

Today, while I was working from home on my laptop and had my feet up on the coffee table, I felt something on my foot. I looked down to see a spider the size of a quarter on top of my bare foot. It started doing something so I froze, hoping it wouldn't bite me. Instead, it anchored the start of its web to my skin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 924

You deserved it 163

btopishere 1

Thursday 12 March 2009 9:11

That's how Peter Parker was created.

Crudez0rz 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 9:08

Who the **** masturbates into a sock?!?! hahaha

Comments

Quarentine514 0

Tuesday 26 May 2009 23:06

lol poor spider " OMG WTF IS THIS THING AHHHH!H! * is being rattedled around inside sock*

lolsparky 0

Wednesday 27 May 2009 10:41

Just be glad that spider wasn't into biting.

jrl585 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 3:59

you now can swing from buldings with your sperm

Asdas_fml 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 15:53

To all the guys who **** socks, please, think of your moms when they're doing the laundry. It might be convenient for you, but you're (most likely) not the ones doing the laundry.

Vinya_777 0

Friday 29 May 2009 18:34

lol at the Peter Parker joke..

KippyNittles 0

Monday 1 June 2009 7:24

If you rearranged the words in this FML it could rhyme and sound like a poem. Could you imagine? A poem about sex with a spider xD

caitlin_7 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 6:17

dude rly i liked spiderman dude rly SPIDERMAAN IS SOOO MUCH BETTER NOW he acculy had sex wit a spider and now might have spider children

Gibbio260 0

Friday 5 June 2009 13:13

wahahahaha yes im another one of those people who after reading this HAD to create an account : ) imagine 20 years later him talking to his wife..................you aren't my first love..........and i have other kids