Sex, Creepy, Wanker, Spiders and Intimacy: Love is love

Love is love

By SpiderMan - 12/03/2009 00:23 - United States

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor… and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 471

You deserved it 106 815

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Same thing different taste

Troubling

By Anonymous - 15/12/2010 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, whilst pleasuring myself in my bedroom, I began absent-mindedly staring at a spider on the ceiling. It wasn't until the point of climax that I realised that I was, in effect, masturbating over a spider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 480

You deserved it 23 291

Hey there little buddy

By Anonymous - 07/02/2023 01:00 - Finland

Today, I was in my bed masturbating when I felt something on my chest. I looked down to see a spider running around. I'm super scared of spiders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 940

You deserved it 239

By yuckspider - 20/04/2009 00:17 - United States

Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 324

You deserved it 7 652

By Anonymous - 05/09/2015 02:22 - United States - Purchase

Today, I was having a relaxing "wank", as they might say on Doctor Who, when a large spider descended from its web and came practically eye-to-eye with me. I screamed like a bitch and fell off my bed, pants around my ankles. Then my sister ran in to see what was wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 603

You deserved it 9 163

By jrocks - 19/05/2009 17:06 - United States

Today, as I was watching a DVD, I noticed a spider crawling on my crotch area. So, I panicked and smashed the spider, smashing my nuts in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 881

You deserved it 70 626

By dickwebs - 22/11/2010 03:42 - Germany

Today, I was taking off my underwear to change into fresh clothes. Pulling them down, I realize there's a big fat spider in them. Not only did I have a spider chilling with my genitals the whole day, but I'm deathly afraid of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 972

You deserved it 5 238

By jillydark6609 - 19/09/2010 06:21 - United States

Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 287

You deserved it 14 264

By thatsnotacat - 21/11/2013 17:52 - Australia - West End

Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 524

You deserved it 3 359

By Arachnaphobic - 22/11/2009 08:35 - United States

Today, when putting something away on a high shelf, something small and black fell down my cleavage. I thought nothing of it and finished the task at hand. When I pulled out the neck of my shirt later to find it and looked down, glaring up at me from my boobs was a large, disgruntled spider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 272

You deserved it 4 807

Been here long?

By Anonymous - 14/10/2022 14:00

Today, while I was working from home on my laptop and had my feet up on the coffee table, I felt something on my foot. I looked down to see a spider the size of a quarter on top of my bare foot. It started doing something so I froze, hoping it wouldn't bite me. Instead, it anchored the start of its web to my skin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 924

You deserved it 163

btopishere 1

Thursday 12 March 2009 9:11

That's how Peter Parker was created.

Crudez0rz 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 9:08

Who the **** masturbates into a sock?!?! hahaha

Comments

mellr7 0

Sunday 26 July 2009 22:16

was that a girl or a girl spider? oooh! new discovery! gay spiders! now they don't have to risk getting eaten..

mellr7 0

Monday 27 July 2009 2:17

oh wait i meant girl or boy

tencro 1

Tuesday 4 August 2009 7:48

I guess then that the spider never saw it cumming! bahahahaha

FreakOnaLeash 0

Wednesday 5 August 2009 6:15

That's what you get for masturbating,dumbass. Get a life and a real girlfriend,you piece of shit fag

IUsed2 0

Friday 21 August 2009 23:40

you do know that a lot of people that have girlfriends still ********** right?

JakobKain 0

Saturday 5 September 2009 19:22

Do you know that the impulse to eat comes from the same part of the brain that gives you the impulse to relieve yourself sexually? Yeah, stop trying to be an internet tough guy. By the way, there are spaces between punctuation. That includes commas.

Jari 0

Thursday 6 August 2009 3:16

Please god no one make a comic of this one. The internet has enough Rule 34 material.

aliabbiss 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 16:46

ur a dumb ****

strata8 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 14:22

Why do people ********** into socks? It's absolutely disgusting, IMO.

Blacksnake_fml 0

Friday 9 October 2009 3:34

Notice his name is SpiderMan...

terriibabiiix23 0

Tuesday 29 December 2009 2:55

ewww i ******* HATE spiders :/ you must have no life since you ********** into a sock. WTF is wrong with you ?!

minenotyours 0

Friday 1 January 2010 2:35

if the spider bit your dick then you could have a super powered penis! you could call it arachnidick! and it shoots sperm in webs and has tiny little sticky hairs on it. ouch. lol just be careful it doesn't bite ;)