Kids: Lovely bundles of joy - FML

Lovely bundles of joy

By Anonymous - 12/01/2012 11:54 - Sweden

Today, I've had chairs thrown at me, kicks have hit me in the nuts and I've heard "I'm gonna fucking kill you, bitch" several times. I work at a kindergarten. And this is a good day compared to what I'm used to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 180

You deserved it 3 859

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Kids…

By guessimdead - 19/04/2009 23:07 - United States

Today, I went to my new job at a pre-school. I was really excited because everything was going so well, and a little boy even said he was drawing a picture of me. He even gave it to me when he was finished. Well it was me, but I was also on fire and being stabbed and shot multiple times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 113

You deserved it 3 721

GET ME THE MANAGER

By Anonymous - 12/06/2022 14:00

Today, after a very long and stressful day at school, I had to go to work right after. There's no better way to start my shift than getting screamed at by a Karen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 856

You deserved it 123

How to make a sociopath

By Anonymous - 10/04/2020 14:00

Today, I went to my job as an aide for first-grade students. I went home with a swollen face after my student punched me because I was, "making the timer go too fast" and he wanted more iPad time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 731

You deserved it 163

Kids these days…

By Cindell Hanson - 02/03/2020 05:00

Today, a student told me to fuck off. I work with 3 year-olds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 759

You deserved it 187

Bag of frozen peas time

By Anonymous - 21/01/2022 22:01 - United Kingdom - Norwich

Today, I got sent home from work after a customer's daughter kicked me in the balls because her order was wrong. She was 6 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 303

You deserved it 117

Ultraviolence

By Noname - 05/02/2009 23:15 - United States

Today, I finally stood up to a bully who had been messing with me for over a year. His response? He picked up the chair I was sitting in and threw me across the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 194

You deserved it 4 177

By Fingkids - 25/09/2012 01:51 - United States

Today, I fell asleep at work and woke up with penis sharpied on my face. I'm a kindergarten teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 308

You deserved it 33 884

People never learn

By fmyboss - 13/10/2019 07:00

Today, I was made fun of at work by my mom and my supervisor. I work at a kids' anti-bullying camp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 808

You deserved it 213

By Anonymous - 16/12/2012 00:46 - United States - Detroit

Today, it was my first day at my new job at a nursing home. Not only were we short staffed, two residents passed away, and I got beaten up by an old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 553

You deserved it 2 553

By Anonymous - 08/01/2011 07:56 - United States

Today, on the way to work, I was punched in the balls by a complete stranger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 083

You deserved it 4 265

Next

Top comments

Nutty4Muffs 3

Thursday 12 January 2012 16:07

Oh I love this phase! It's just the sugar talking.

seximexi911 10

Thursday 12 January 2012 16:07

Damn what part of town do you live in? Haha

Comments

dcc101 3

Thursday 12 January 2012 22:00

kids should die, thats gross, any parent who allows their kid to behave themselfs or even say shit like that should be sentenced to death.

MikeDa1Da 14

Thursday 12 January 2012 22:01

I used to laugh at Kim Kardashian marriage jokes, but then I took an arrow to the knee.

hookumsnivy 6

Thursday 12 January 2012 22:08

They really need to rethink the idea of not being allowed to hit kids. Sometimes they deserve a good slap. And sometimes the parents of those kids deserve an ass whooping and forced sterilization.

fyrtiosexarton 12

Thursday 12 January 2012 22:13

Haha lol vad kul. Hur när var?

moomoomeow2 7

Thursday 12 January 2012 22:24

Wow I hope things will be okay!!

MikeDa1Da 14

Thursday 12 January 2012 22:24

Wait, that wasn't funny. Sorry, I thought we were at an overused joke convention.

thewelder86 0

Thursday 12 January 2012 22:25

Swear to god... There's no parenting skills left these days!!! I never saw any of that when I was in kindergarden

Xephyr 1

Thursday 12 January 2012 22:29

"nuts" ... "bitch". Wat.

Sarahbrat 0

Thursday 12 January 2012 22:38

Sounds like chucky is making a daily reappearance...0_o

palmieril85 2

Thursday 12 January 2012 22:42

I feel ya. I work for speicial needs preschoolers and go through the same shit.

8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15

Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Embarrassing Awkward Health Love Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Fight Public freakouts Drugs Neighbours Cops Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were in the shower and things were getting heated. I tried to move position, but slipped and fell, bringing the shower curtain I'd grabbed onto down with me along its support rod. My ass hit the floor just as hard as the rod hit my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 537

You deserved it 10 056

Today, thinking no one was home, I decided to be a little frisky with my boyfriend. I guess I was being loud and woke up my sleeping autistic brother the room over. Halfway through, he burst through the door, panicking. He thought I was having another one of my asthma attacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 979

You deserved it 9 781

The Top

Today, I walked in on my brother smoking weed. He immediately tried to hide it by dropping it down his pants, still lit. Screaming in pain, he pulled down his pants. The ashes burned his knob. I had to take him to the emergency room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 740

You deserved it 3 572

Today, I was strolling along a sidewalk when I noticed that my shoelace was untied. As I knelt down to tie it, my brand new $1,000 phone fell out of my pocket and into a storm sewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 092

You deserved it 2 944

Today, I received 46 emails from co-workers who were using reply-all to tell everyone else not to use reply-all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 261

You deserved it 2 042

Today, while answering an "anonymous" survey about how to keep my school drug free, I told them they should stop drug testing the kids that they know don't do drugs and test the sketchier ones. They in turn drug tested me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 141

You deserved it 15 325

Today, a high maintenance client informed me that he wants 50+ pages of new content added to his website "now". He doesn't understand that I also have 30+ other clients to write for. I'm wondering if I can charge him for my new anxiety meds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 304

You deserved it 328

Today, I was looking after my 9 year-old nephew when I let him play some web games on my MacBook. A few hours later, I found out I'd underestimated his tech skills, as he'd changed all my contacts to "Mr. Spongebob Squarepants." Thanks to iCloud, all contacts on all my devices were changed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 927

You deserved it 530