Intimacy: Memory loss

Memory loss

By UGH - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to return a shirt to Target. My mom offered to do it for me on her way to work, so I gave her the shirt and receipt. Later, I remembered that on the same receipt I had purchased condoms, lube, and whipped cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 281

You deserved it 81 096

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Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By totallyembarassed - 07/07/2012 04:08 - United States - Charlotte

Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 003

You deserved it 28 778

By the_captain - 23/06/2009 00:21 - United States

Today, I was cashiering at Target when an old woman came into my checkout line. Her items? Variety pack of pleasuring condoms, a bottle of KY sensual lube, and two colorful thongs. As I'm scanning these, she leans in and whispers, "I love toys." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 703

You deserved it 3 516

Flustered

By Anonymous - 21/06/2024 14:00 - United States - Tulsa

Today, I went grocery shopping with my toddler. At the checkout, I realized that I forgot my wallet at home. As I frantically searched my purse, my toddler shouted, "Mommy, do we need this?" and held up a box of condoms she'd grabbed from a nearby shelf. Everyone stared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 110

I'm a mess

By Anonymous - 02/10/2020 23:01

Today, I went in to return a pack of socks. The cashier told me I couldn't return them. Then, I thought that she hadn't given the unreturnable socks back to me, even though she had, so I ended up getting all hormonal and angry over their return policy. When I got home, my mom got on my case too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 349

You deserved it 1 327

By condiments - 22/02/2010 21:13 - United States

Today, I went shopping with my mother, when someone snuck a pack of condoms into our cart while our backs were turned. When we got to the register, my mom, whose wealth makes me ineligible for financial aid, noticed the condoms and she announced that she wasn't paying for the college I got accepted to next year because she doesn't want a promiscuous daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 148

You deserved it 3 061

By danskinnow - 05/10/2009 02:01 - United States

Today, I went to a store to buy a man's thong because my girlfriend wanted me to. When I went in I also grabbed some lingerie for her. Thinking I was being clever I wrapped it up in a t-shirt so no one would notice and went to checkout. The cashier then called for a price check on the thong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 124

You deserved it 34 699

By HYRTE - 06/09/2017 04:30

Today, I returned a shirt for my mom. When the cashier asked why, I just said my mom didn't like the way it looked. After an awkward pause, I noticed the cashier was wearing the same shirt. She was not amused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 039

You deserved it 369

Lose-lose situation

By suckerrrrr - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I bought a top, along with some other things. I went to the restroom and had diarrhea, but there was no toilet paper in the stall. I had to use the receipt from the store. I then realized the clerk hadn't put the top in the bag. I needed that receipt to get the top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 590

You deserved it 14 742

Where's my stuff?

By freezingtodeath - 04/12/2010 00:11 - United States

Today, I went into Target's dressing rooms to try some pants on, leaving my full cart outside. An employee thought it had been left there, and took it to put the stuff back. My coat, hat, gloves were in it. I had to walk home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 704

You deserved it 22 971

By geena - 27/10/2012 06:42 - United States - Washington

Today, while at work being a waitress, I gave my customer his credit card receipt to sign. Instead of giving him a pen, I pulled a tampon out of my apron pocket and handed it to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 073

You deserved it 7 981

adelaide_evening 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 2:15

Tell her it was a science experiment where you filled a lubed condom up with whipped cream and saw how long it took for it to explode in a microwave.

Jaxro 6

Thursday 9 April 2009 2:16

Hahahaha, I wonder what there person at the check out was like when you had all those rung up. :P

Comments

Laurkins 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 6:57

Hey, atleast you're having safe sex. Your mom was young once and, perhaps, had her own share of the kinky kinky. She'll get over it. =)

nickk_v 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 7:01

LMFAAOOo

californiagirlx7 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 7:20

HAHAHAHA that sounds like a simple mistake that anyone can make so I agree that its a FML. And yes, Target does sell condoms and whipped cream. I didn't know about lube though.

Jime 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 7:22

to make it even weirder, when you saw her next you should have told her you were gay

aeris_fml 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 7:30

Gosh, what were you planning on doing with that shirt? But really, it's not your fault you didn't remember.

genius_man16 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 7:43

hey, at least you won't get your gf preggers (or won't get preggers yourself) whipped cream is kinky tho

gregthestrange 3

Thursday 9 April 2009 7:47

#20, I'm glad you figured out that caps lock is cruise control for cool

babydoll86_fml 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 7:47

Heh, ooook, maybe your Target is different to my Target, but they sure as hell don't sell condoms where I am. But yeah, I guess they're different in different countries. Heh. Sucks to be you!

noodleless 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 8:02

It's not THAT fml. Just an awkward moment that will be etched forever in your memory, but you'll get over it. :) Imagine how your kids would crack up when you tell them that one day!