Intimacy: Memory loss

Memory loss

By UGH - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to return a shirt to Target. My mom offered to do it for me on her way to work, so I gave her the shirt and receipt. Later, I remembered that on the same receipt I had purchased condoms, lube, and whipped cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 281

You deserved it 81 096

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Same thing different taste

By totallyembarassed - 07/07/2012 04:08 - United States - Charlotte

Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 003

You deserved it 28 778

By the_captain - 23/06/2009 00:21 - United States

Today, I was cashiering at Target when an old woman came into my checkout line. Her items? Variety pack of pleasuring condoms, a bottle of KY sensual lube, and two colorful thongs. As I'm scanning these, she leans in and whispers, "I love toys." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 703

You deserved it 3 516

Flustered

By Anonymous - 21/06/2024 14:00 - United States - Tulsa

Today, I went grocery shopping with my toddler. At the checkout, I realized that I forgot my wallet at home. As I frantically searched my purse, my toddler shouted, "Mommy, do we need this?" and held up a box of condoms she'd grabbed from a nearby shelf. Everyone stared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 110

I'm a mess

By Anonymous - 02/10/2020 23:01

Today, I went in to return a pack of socks. The cashier told me I couldn't return them. Then, I thought that she hadn't given the unreturnable socks back to me, even though she had, so I ended up getting all hormonal and angry over their return policy. When I got home, my mom got on my case too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 349

You deserved it 1 327

By condiments - 22/02/2010 21:13 - United States

Today, I went shopping with my mother, when someone snuck a pack of condoms into our cart while our backs were turned. When we got to the register, my mom, whose wealth makes me ineligible for financial aid, noticed the condoms and she announced that she wasn't paying for the college I got accepted to next year because she doesn't want a promiscuous daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 148

You deserved it 3 061

By danskinnow - 05/10/2009 02:01 - United States

Today, I went to a store to buy a man's thong because my girlfriend wanted me to. When I went in I also grabbed some lingerie for her. Thinking I was being clever I wrapped it up in a t-shirt so no one would notice and went to checkout. The cashier then called for a price check on the thong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 124

You deserved it 34 699

By HYRTE - 06/09/2017 04:30

Today, I returned a shirt for my mom. When the cashier asked why, I just said my mom didn't like the way it looked. After an awkward pause, I noticed the cashier was wearing the same shirt. She was not amused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 039

You deserved it 369

Lose-lose situation

By suckerrrrr - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I bought a top, along with some other things. I went to the restroom and had diarrhea, but there was no toilet paper in the stall. I had to use the receipt from the store. I then realized the clerk hadn't put the top in the bag. I needed that receipt to get the top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 590

You deserved it 14 742

Where's my stuff?

By freezingtodeath - 04/12/2010 00:11 - United States

Today, I went into Target's dressing rooms to try some pants on, leaving my full cart outside. An employee thought it had been left there, and took it to put the stuff back. My coat, hat, gloves were in it. I had to walk home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 704

You deserved it 22 971

By geena - 27/10/2012 06:42 - United States - Washington

Today, while at work being a waitress, I gave my customer his credit card receipt to sign. Instead of giving him a pen, I pulled a tampon out of my apron pocket and handed it to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 073

You deserved it 7 981

adelaide_evening 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 2:15

Tell her it was a science experiment where you filled a lubed condom up with whipped cream and saw how long it took for it to explode in a microwave.

Jaxro 6

Thursday 9 April 2009 2:16

Hahahaha, I wonder what there person at the check out was like when you had all those rung up. :P

Comments

blushinFML 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 9:16

#57 & 59 both made me giggle even more. thanks for that :)

itsalongstory 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 9:20

Since when has target even sold that stuff?! That doesnt seem to be what's sold in my targets. anyways, FYL

xkaokaox 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 9:58

god damn target for being the superstore that has everything right? wrong! ydi.

Finnboghi 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 10:29

#20 fails. As for OP, it's none of her business what you bought there. Sex is personal, and no one has a right to judge. You should feel good that you're able to express your sexual desires instead of suppress them like the modern world tells you to.

scottyz1 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 12:51

Top stuff mate, teach your mum some tricks for me ;P

fueledbyamy 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 13:25

to the people bout target, it depends what country. in australia, target sells clothes, electronics etc. but not food items like whipped cream. i havent seen condoms/lube there, but i wouldnt be surprised if it was sold. haha, sucks bout it. hope the shirt is worth it after all that =P

itsTiffany 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 14:40

Well that'll be a nice conversation when your mom gets back ;) Just deny it though and say your friend wanted it.

aego56 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 16:12

I don't see what the big deal is. If she's not an idiot she'll figure out "Oh he's having sex" which shouldn't be much of a problem... If she does have a problem with it then she can enjoy her own celibacy.