Alcohol, Addiction and Kids: Mommy's little helper

Mommy's little helper

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Oakland

Today, my drinking problem became apparent when my daughter asked for a glass of juice, and I instinctively poured a large glass of scotch instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 727

You deserved it 39 011

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Sneaky

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Canada - Owen Sound

Today, I caught my dad sneaking a drink of whiskey outside, shortly before my wedding. I asked if he was seriously getting drunk at a time like this. He looked at me and scoffed, "It's the only way I'm gonna get through this stupid shit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 006

You deserved it 5 094

Neil Diamond was wrong

By LucyLollipop - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I had my first glass of red wine after months of pregnancy and giving birth. Just as I sat down and started to relax, I spilled it all over myself and my in-law’s couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 270

You deserved it 937

Use the force

By BlueMacaw - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Lake Elsinore

Today, I accidentally threw a glass of iced tea in my own face, because the restaurant I'd been going to for over a decade switched from heavy glass mugs to identical light-as-a-feather plastic mugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 438

You deserved it 4 697

He's got game

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I horribly lost a game of basketball against my dad. It wouldn't have been so humiliating if he hadn't been piss drunk at the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 590

You deserved it 6 175

Night on the tiles

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Ireland - Gorey

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak out of work early and pay a little visit to the pub. I ended up staggering home, drunkenly making myself a nacho cheese dorito milkshake with the blender, then promptly puked my guts out all over the kitchen table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 983

You deserved it 46 606

This is a low

By Stella - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I chipped my tooth on a beer bottle. While I was drinking alone in my basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 357

You deserved it 28 784

Slippery when wet

By blewidstepr - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, I realized that my 3 year-old son, who is being potty trained, has better aim standing up to pee than his 30 year-old father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 887

You deserved it 6 520

By bbbeast - 28/07/2009 02:42 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad asked me if I'd started smoking, I gave him a big speech about how I never have and never will. Two hours later, he found my stash of cigarettes under my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 983

You deserved it 136 265

The morning after the night before

By college student - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Oxford

Today, I woke up with a vicious hangover. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't woken up to dozens of cans strewn all over the floor. I don't remember buying half the store's supply of pork and beans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 056

You deserved it 9 380

marulicko 19

Tuesday 17 February 2015 10:08

Ok, definitely time to get help...

ruckfules85 34

Tuesday 17 February 2015 10:11

Really good you caught your mistake instead of giving it to her.

Comments

janfleury 19

Wednesday 18 February 2015 3:09

You need help. You were very lucky that you caught the mistake. Your child's welfare is at stake. Get help!

mattyiscool123 26

Wednesday 18 February 2015 4:54

You chugged it didn't you?

ronzi 15

Wednesday 18 February 2015 4:55

There is lots of help available, please pour it generously ?

Q94 5

Wednesday 18 February 2015 5:12

Damn! Who pours a large glass of scotch...ever????

Lagalette 19

Wednesday 18 February 2015 5:30

Well the first step is to accept that you have a problem ☑️

militarybrat 21

Wednesday 18 February 2015 7:01

Think of your daughter and get help, please!!!

militarybrat 21

Wednesday 18 February 2015 7:04

Blah fml sucks. Dont mind this comment

militarybrat 21

Wednesday 18 February 2015 7:05

Ran out of time to edit. Also, if you are the only one in care of your daughter it is 1. Extremely irresponsible to be drunk while caring for a child and 2. A reason to call CPS. Do you WANT to lose her?