Alcohol, Addiction and Kids: Mommy's little helper

Mommy's little helper

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Oakland

Today, my drinking problem became apparent when my daughter asked for a glass of juice, and I instinctively poured a large glass of scotch instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 727

You deserved it 39 011

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Same thing different taste

Sneaky

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Canada - Owen Sound

Today, I caught my dad sneaking a drink of whiskey outside, shortly before my wedding. I asked if he was seriously getting drunk at a time like this. He looked at me and scoffed, "It's the only way I'm gonna get through this stupid shit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 006

You deserved it 5 094

Neil Diamond was wrong

By LucyLollipop - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I had my first glass of red wine after months of pregnancy and giving birth. Just as I sat down and started to relax, I spilled it all over myself and my in-law’s couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 270

You deserved it 937

Use the force

By BlueMacaw - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Lake Elsinore

Today, I accidentally threw a glass of iced tea in my own face, because the restaurant I'd been going to for over a decade switched from heavy glass mugs to identical light-as-a-feather plastic mugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 438

You deserved it 4 697

He's got game

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I horribly lost a game of basketball against my dad. It wouldn't have been so humiliating if he hadn't been piss drunk at the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 590

You deserved it 6 175

Night on the tiles

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Ireland - Gorey

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak out of work early and pay a little visit to the pub. I ended up staggering home, drunkenly making myself a nacho cheese dorito milkshake with the blender, then promptly puked my guts out all over the kitchen table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 983

You deserved it 46 606

This is a low

By Stella - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I chipped my tooth on a beer bottle. While I was drinking alone in my basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 357

You deserved it 28 784

Slippery when wet

By blewidstepr - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, I realized that my 3 year-old son, who is being potty trained, has better aim standing up to pee than his 30 year-old father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 887

You deserved it 6 520

By bbbeast - 28/07/2009 02:42 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad asked me if I'd started smoking, I gave him a big speech about how I never have and never will. Two hours later, he found my stash of cigarettes under my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 983

You deserved it 136 265

The morning after the night before

By college student - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Oxford

Today, I woke up with a vicious hangover. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't woken up to dozens of cans strewn all over the floor. I don't remember buying half the store's supply of pork and beans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 056

You deserved it 9 380

marulicko 19

Tuesday 17 February 2015 10:08

Ok, definitely time to get help...

ruckfules85 34

Tuesday 17 February 2015 10:11

Really good you caught your mistake instead of giving it to her.

Comments

tranced_ 45

Tuesday 17 February 2015 12:12

bad influence on your daughter!

buckdharma 36

Tuesday 17 February 2015 12:12

Careful op, or you could wind up in jail drinking potato hooch. :(

bearstyle22 11

Tuesday 17 February 2015 12:57

Muscle memory?

MisterGasMoney 16

Tuesday 17 February 2015 13:13

Get help, OP. I wish you the best.

150493x 29

Tuesday 17 February 2015 13:36

At least you have now realised you have a problem. Even though we don't know the history behind it, knowing you have a problem is half the battle as many people completely deny they need help at all.

chosha_fml 26

Tuesday 17 February 2015 13:57

Does she take hers neat or on the rocks?

vikky538 28

Tuesday 17 February 2015 14:08

call now and get help before its too late...

gearhead369 20

Tuesday 17 February 2015 14:29

Smells a little bit fake in here.... Anyone else smell that?

laden_swallow09 34

Tuesday 17 February 2015 15:32

Nope. Vegetables just make me gassy. Sorry.

corleon198425 22

Tuesday 17 February 2015 14:29

as an alcoholic in recovery it's a tough road. I've slipped A few times but have got back in sobriety. try AA it is a God send, best of lUck

MRSwick2525 23

Tuesday 17 February 2015 15:25

Please seek help!! My sister just passed away two weeks ago due to her drinking problems. Its not pretty to watch a loved one go through liver and kidney failure at 41yrs of age. It is slow and painful. Please get the help that you need, for you and your child's sake.