Work, Pranks and Thief: Morons either way

Morons either way

By Anonymous - 28/07/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I knew my coworker was stealing my lunch, so I made a sandwich with tons of incredibly spicy peppers. He took a bite, shrieked in pain, and ran off sobbing. Unfortunately, he was also in an emergency meeting with an important client, so now my whole department looks like a bunch of morons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 594

You deserved it 104

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Same thing different taste

Long time coming

By I'm the boss, not you - 26/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, after weeks of stealing lunch from one of my employees, he made a sandwich with canned cat food, soap, and something unimaginably spicy that caused me to spew all over my office and laptop. I fired him. Now everyone is treating me like a monster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 2 389

By Jake Leiter - 20/03/2016 18:12 - United States - Grantham

Today, for what has seemed to be the hundredth time, my labeled bagged lunch was stolen from the fridge at my workplace. I stormed into my boss's office ready to complain, only to find him eating it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 992

You deserved it 1 232

Well played

By FUCK THE PIGS - 26/01/2013 20:44 - United States - Oakland

Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 561

You deserved it 4 179

Confused

By Nathanael Johnson - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, my roommate came home from work and yelled at me for my dinner being too spicy. The same dinner he denied stealing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 474

You deserved it 213

Under new management

By NotAThief - 17/07/2017 20:00

Today, I got a talking-to at work from my new manager for eating other peoples' lunches. Immediately afterwards, I watched my manager leave the room, take MY lunch, and begin eating it. Apparently my new manager is the thief, and I'm now the office pariah who gets the blame. Nobody believes me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 212

You deserved it 312

Caught in 4K

By Anonymous - 03/09/2024 09:00 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I finally caught the person who has now and again been stealing my lunch at work for weeks. It was my boss. I awkwardly watched him eat my sandwich while he talked about how he's been "saving money by bringing food from home." FML

I agree, your life sucks 631

You deserved it 90

Do not feed the workers

By Kellz - 20/07/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, at work, I tried to sneakily open a bag of chips I had hidden in my desk drawer. The bag decided to explode as soon as I tore it open, sending chips flying everywhere. My boss chose that exact moment to walk by and saw me on the floor, frantically picking up chips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 403

By Brendan - 19/02/2011 21:23 - Canada

Today, while on lunch break, my fat, old co-worker walked into the break-room. I managed to block out his perverted heavy breathing, but had to leave when he began emitting a terrible odor that smelled like cheesy, sweaty molding feet. I barely held onto my lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 975

You deserved it 4 147

By fired - 23/11/2010 13:41 - United States

Today, my boss was being a total asshole. While in the bathroom, he turned his back on me, so I gave him the finger, mouthed obscenities, and pantomimed stabbing him with a knife. He was looking in the mirror and saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 228

You deserved it 65 511

Paranoid

By Anonymous - 02/04/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, my boss was hosting some client representatives for a meeting and had offered to buy everyone lunch. The "healthy" place he's ordering from made me sick last time, so I'd politely opted out. At lunch, the reps glared at me in the meeting room as I ate my homemade chili con carne. Turns out they're all vegans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 516

You deserved it 143

Iamthebanzai22 21

Sunday 28 July 2024 11:51

That's his fault, not yours. I sincerely hope there is an enquiry into what happened and that his thievery then comes to light for the entire company to gloat at.

TwoBytesCarley 27

Sunday 28 July 2024 15:10

I concur. 100% his fault and no one else’s.

Comments

Iamthebanzai22 21

Sunday 28 July 2024 11:51

That's his fault, not yours. I sincerely hope there is an enquiry into what happened and that his thievery then comes to light for the entire company to gloat at.