Health, Weird and Relatable: Mr Beard

Mr Beard

By Anonymous - 06/07/2011 16:59 - United States

Today, I shaved my beard off. Turns out the skin under my beard is six shades lighter than the rest of my face. I look completely ridiculous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 318

You deserved it 14 180

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Back to reality

By Herbiee - 18/08/2010 12:01 - United Kingdom

Today, I shaved off the beard I had been forced to grow over the past 3 weeks due to forgetting my razor when away. Fifteen minutes in, with half my beard gone, I realised I had got a tan everywhere but my beard. I now have a large white patch on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 487

You deserved it 13 102

Can't face it

By bearded lady - 08/06/2020 14:03

Today, thanks to all my medications, I've been growing thick, dark hair on my face. I decided to use hair removal cream instead of shaving. The cream removed every trace of hair, but also made my skin about 4 times lighter than the rest of my face. It's even more noticeable than the beard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 470

You deserved it 250

By RyanM - 10/03/2010 15:00 - France

Today, I found out what people really think about the beard I've been proudly growing for over a month. It appears that my face now looks like an unshaven ballsack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 898

You deserved it 27 490

By Ibrowtheedge - 16/08/2018 20:30

Today, I shaved off half of my right eyebrow by accident. It still looks better than my left eyebrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 381

You deserved it 481

By CrimsonChin - 26/08/2017 04:30

Today, out of boredom, I decided to clean shave my beard and moustache for the first time in 3 years. My new nickname at work is The Crimson Chin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 264

You deserved it 594

By Smoothskin - 19/09/2013 21:18 - Australia - Heidelberg

Today, I shaved my face after several months of growth. This would be OK if my 4-year-old daughter would still talk to me. Apparently she doesn't recognise me, and I'm scary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 305

You deserved it 3 946

Shaved

By richard - 21/03/2014 16:10 - United States - Redmond

Today, fed up with my nerdy appearance, I got my hair shaved off, hoping for a Walter White kind of look. I didn't think it was too bad, but not even an hour later, I'd already been called a "fat Bruce Willis" and compared to a freshly circumcised penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 046

You deserved it 8 085

By boreed - 27/12/2010 05:37 - United States

Today, I finally got an unsightly mole on my face removed. While I was shaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 026

You deserved it 4 389

By mustachioed - 29/09/2012 05:06 - United States

Today, I tried to bleach my upper lip hair. I now have a bright red mustache. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 077

You deserved it 18 818

Fuzzy logic

By It’s just peach fuzz on my cheeks, but still - 07/09/2024 18:00 - United States - New York

Today, I had to come to terms with having more facial hair than my boyfriend, despite being female since birth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 85

saIty 17

Wednesday 6 July 2011 22:05

Congratulations Santa!

WellThatSucksMaj 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 22:04

hahahahahaha

Comments

staunchpoo 0

Thursday 7 July 2011 11:45

dude how did you manage to measure how many shades lighter your face is

IronicallyMaiden 0

Thursday 7 July 2011 15:10

...and that is why I will not shave my beard

yzf250rider88 2

Thursday 7 July 2011 16:18

what did you expect it ti be completely tan? I hope you dont plan on shaving your head cause you'll have the same end result

aknight14 0

Thursday 7 July 2011 17:58

hahaha! just put a bag over your face:)

saturnsonic 3

Thursday 7 July 2011 19:43

Whahahahaha....lol

ramykomy 0

Friday 8 July 2011 0:43

hahahaha

richard92105 0

Friday 8 July 2011 5:57

how do you effectively cover that up with fake tan? fyl dude

Might_Just_Work 0

Friday 8 July 2011 7:03

beards are gross....that's what you get...btw thanks for making my day!! xD

Candy16 5

Friday 8 July 2011 9:27

Lmao!

CrazyCountryGirl 5

Friday 8 July 2011 17:38

phahaha

Keywords

Christmas Love Romantic Break-ups Annoying Money Poopoo peepee Gross Miscellaneous Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Haircut Cute Lonely Holidays Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism Cars You're fired Health Covid Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting Family

The Top

Today, on my first day as a community support officer, a 7-foot meathead in the middle of a domestic argument told me to “piss off shorty”, and when I asked him not to swear at me, he picked me up one-handed and threw me in a builder's skip full of mud and wet cement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 559

You deserved it 351

Today, the girl I love who friendzoned me called to talk. She shared the marvelous things she'd done for her friend's birthday, then said, "You had a recent birthday too." Then she laughed. We'd talked multiple times without her mentioning my birthday. She ignored it on Facebook. Time for no contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 194

The Top

Today, I was on a nature hike and had to use the bushes as a restroom. In doing so I stepped on an ant hill and ended up with my shorts around my ankles, dancing the Twist to fend off the ants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 537

You deserved it 193

Today, my girlfriend tried to convince me to propose by telling me that the sooner we get married, the sooner she'll get pregnant and hence the sooner we can eat the placenta. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 080

You deserved it 389

Today, I discovered I am the "before picture" in an internet weight loss advert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 563

You deserved it 8 979

Today, my mother found condoms in my room. She asked why and I said, "Just in case." She started laughing hysterically. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 640

You deserved it 9 942

Today, my phone went missing. My 8-year-old son took it to school and sold it for $10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 707

You deserved it 677

Today, I walked into the restroom at work to see my boss standing at the urinal, pissing like a toddler. He had his pants around his ankles, ass fully exposed. Now I'm never going to be able to take anything he says seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 336

You deserved it 1 829