I... what the ever loving ****? Why would you even DO that, let alone why would it be phrased as if it were supposed to be a good thing?

RUN.... run fast, run far...

I was actually discussing this sort of thing last night. He was laughing that there's a breast milk ice-cream shop that claims to be healthy for people. I pointed out that some people eat the placenta to regain nutrients, or something like that, so don't listen when the internet says something is healthy.

**** me, I don't even know where to begin.

That's like a parent saying "as soon as you get home you're in trouble and im gonna whoop you." But if your girlfriend is into eating placenta I bet you do kinky shit with her

Now might be a good time to run...

The way to combat crazy is to up the ante with batshit crazy. Tell her she can have all of the placenta, because you want to eat the baby, like hamsters do. That’ll make her run, so you don’t have to make the effort.

I know FML is a daily dose of funny, but it is frightening to know these kinds of people exist. Run ... just run.

There's no need to wait for her own placenta; get all that you want at the hospital's maternity ward and then stuff it into Rx-sized gel tablets for ease of consumption. Problem solved without getting pregnant! Btw pay no attention to those reports of women having medical issues after taking them....

And that's when you tell her propose, I was actually thinking about breaking up with you.