Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Mr Floppy

Mr Floppy

By rachiej8 - 10/06/2012 04:13 - United States - Fairlee

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said, "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 043

You deserved it 5 523

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Same thing different taste

You've tried this before, right?

By xxxzzzooo - 02/01/2010 17:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 561

You deserved it 3 808

By Anonymous - 10/03/2012 07:23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 066

You deserved it 59 342

By katie - 23/08/2019 06:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 785

You deserved it 3 951

By bad in the sack - 05/07/2014 04:26 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She was on top, and then stopped, got off, and said, "Let's go get ice cream." I think this was her way of telling me I suck at sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 167

You deserved it 11 465

Giggle loop

By Anonymous - 18/03/2010 10:39 - United States

Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 323

You deserved it 38 286

By Patricia - 01/10/2011 23:30 - United States

Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home, he was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 569

You deserved it 5 721

Waste

By Annie - 31/08/2011 03:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 819

You deserved it 5 301

Hard to believe

By Anonymous - 02/01/2020 18:00

Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home he was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 375

You deserved it 579

By Blueberrypicc - 13/08/2010 01:01 - United States

Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 328

You deserved it 38 092

By Confused - 22/08/2012 16:33 - Spain - Madrid

Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 772

You deserved it 4 419

Pinkfl0yd 9

Sunday 10 June 2012 12:29

Doesn't matter; had snacks!

ThatGuyRory 9

Sunday 10 June 2012 12:25

Ice Cream makes everything better.

Comments

SpottedZebra42 14

Sunday 10 June 2012 20:21

142 - While I agree that your comment is true, it is still much easier to find bitchy women in California.

perdix 29

Sunday 10 June 2012 20:28

#146. That's better. Try to enjoy childhood as much as you can and not grow up too fast. You'll have plenty of time to be an adult. Jobs, bills, taxes, relationships, debts, ...gack.

bizarre_ftw 21

Sunday 10 June 2012 20:38

147 - likely a good number of them moved there though

DontModMeDammit 10

Sunday 10 June 2012 20:42

I would think new jersey has more annoying bitches but that's just me.

bizarre_ftw 21

Sunday 10 June 2012 20:43

..... I should probably stay away from the comments while doing my art homework....... Sorry people :/

greeneyedpothead 10

Sunday 10 June 2012 21:02

Why do people think California girls are bitches?? It's an honest question! I honestly consider myself non-bitchy, but then again, I'm awesome and don't ever act like #2.