Health, Sports, Relatable, Awkward and Intimacy: My eyes! My eyes!

My eyes! My eyes!

By someone - 29/07/2011 18:26 - United States

Today, while walking home, the gods were kind enough to grace me with the sight of an old man jogging past me in nothing but a pair of short shorts. The image of his balls swinging to and fro underneath like a pendulum has been forever burned into my retinas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 832

You deserved it 5 389

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Same thing different taste

By Jake - 29/04/2009 08:06 - Australia

Today, as I was taking an evening jog around my neighbourhood, I passed an elderly woman. I grinned at her as sign of friendliness to a common pedestrian. She grinned back. Whilst staring at my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 108

You deserved it 6 227

By fatguyinalittlecoat - 08/12/2009 19:09 - United States

Today, I was on a stationary bike at the gym. I got into a conversation with a very attractive female gym-friend. I felt something cool "down below". I looked down and saw one of my testicles had sneaked out of a hole in my shorts, I quickly looked up only to see her staring at the same thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 918

You deserved it 5 279

By Alexismaria - 23/10/2014 20:05 - United States

Today, I walked into the kitchen at the exact moment my uncle decided to bend over in short shorts. Apparently, his ballsack decided it needed extra room, because it dangled out of his pant leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 778

You deserved it 3 280

Asshole

By WetWalking - 21/03/2013 13:31 - United States - Tyler

Today, I was walking by the side of the interstate because my car broke down. A nice young man stopped and asked if I was tired of walking. I said yes, to which he replied, "Try jogging asshole" then laughed and drove off. It was raining balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 206

You deserved it 3 765

By Anonymous - 21/05/2009 16:41 - Canada

Today, I woke up early to take my dog for a walk. I wore spandex shorts. I stopped to talk to several people I know and passed a group of hot construction workers who checked me out. I just got home and realized I have the biggest cameltoe I've ever seen in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 749

You deserved it 59 951

I like big butts and I cannot lie

By ThiccBoi - 02/05/2022 16:00 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I was yet again cat-called while out jogging, with many men calling me "sexy lady" and even commenting on my "birthing hips", all because I chose to wear compression pants. I'm not even a woman, I'm just a guy with a really big butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 245

You deserved it 282

Nuts

By dieders - 21/11/2016 06:34 - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up and opened my curtains to see my gardener up a ladder in front of my window tending to the plants growing up the side of the wall. This would've been fine if his ballsack wasn't hanging out his shorts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 839

You deserved it 1 143

Run!

By Anonymous - 05/11/2011 01:21 - United States

Today, I was dared to walk home through a rough part of town. My rep hung in the balance, so I accepted. A kid kicked a football in my direction, so I kicked it back at him hard. It hit him in the nuts, and the next thing I know, I'm running for my life from three bald, shirtless, six-packed thugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 808

You deserved it 37 583

By Good morning to you all - 20/06/2018 20:30

Today, since my dad decided he's tired of not being completely comfortable in his own home, he now wears only a knee-length robe without underwear so he can "really enjoy the breeze". I've seen more balls in a few days than a pro baseball player does his entire career. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 821

You deserved it 414

By Anonymous - 14/04/2016 05:13 - United States

Today, after a long day, I energetically took off my belt to take my pants off and relax. In doing so, I whipped the belt around in the air, causing it to spin around and slap me right in my tender ballsack. I almost threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 835

You deserved it 5 813

Jarvo_666 6

Friday 29 July 2011 23:14

Some acid will get that image right off. :)

sandwichmaterial 5

Friday 29 July 2011 23:17

me gusta.

Comments

jren207 24

Saturday 30 July 2011 3:30

Hypnotising?

evey661 5

Saturday 30 July 2011 3:48

gods? does that make op polytheistic?

saksxalmo 20

Saturday 30 July 2011 6:02

You say that like it's a bad thing.

maszaros 9

Saturday 30 July 2011 6:33

I don't get your photo. Are you showing off how freakishly large your man-hands are, the awful nail polish that makes you look like a middle school girl, or the cheap ring worn on your hand like an engagement ring???

chelseaaababyyy 17

Saturday 30 July 2011 3:53

mm wrinkly balls, my favorite.

johnnybobson 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 3:55

That's what you get for believing in "gods"!

EvilLilCupcake 10

Saturday 30 July 2011 4:16

there is a guy in my town who runs everyday in a speedo and he always makes sure to put on ALOT of oil too... he is 82 years old and has been doing this for over 30 years...

LuhDemDinosaurz 6

Saturday 30 July 2011 4:18

very descriptive....

saksxalmo 20

Saturday 30 July 2011 6:20

Daniruu 4

Saturday 30 July 2011 4:18

Shouldn't this be in the intimacy category?

saksxalmo 20

Saturday 30 July 2011 6:22

The intimacy category is stupid; I don't think any of the fmls in other languages keep them separate. Look! I used a semicolon, so it's true.

tacocannon99 5

Saturday 30 July 2011 4:31

Boners, I've Ben hiding this for a while but I'm finally ready to admit: it's been my life long DREAM so get hypnotized by your rosy red, taffy like scrotum. It feels so good now that I've established the truth!