Love: Today, my girlfriend really needed to take a pee while we were... - FML

By alexander - 08/02/2017 10:00 - United States - Longmont

Today, my girlfriend really needed to take a pee while we were fishing in my boat. Rather than go to shore, she decided to she could just go into a Snapple bottle. I watched as all her pee went straight onto the floor of my boat, soon realizing she had never even taken the bottle's cap off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 719

You deserved it 1 080

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Same thing different taste

By Countdown has begun - 16/05/2019 12:58

Today, my girlfriend took a crap in my swimming pool. Her excuse? She had to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 005

You deserved it 225

Added flavor

By Boyufd - 27/10/2020 11:01

Today, I walked out the bathroom and saw my girlfriend peeing in a mug. She said that's the mug she uses when she can't hold it anymore. That's the mug I put my coffee in every morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 469

You deserved it 205

Kinky.

By Domo731 - 05/11/2017 13:00 - United States - Johnson City

Today, I drank from a soda can that was on my floor. Unfortunately, it was my boyfriend’s pee. He was too lazy to go to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 338

You deserved it 4 960

By Anonymous - 13/11/2009 00:05 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 455

You deserved it 8 862

By SprinklerDodger - 08/06/2012 23:54 - Denmark - Odense

Today, I was woken up by a noise coming from the bathroom. Upon investigation, I discovered my very drunk, giggling girlfriend attempting to urinate standing up. Carefully note the word "attempting". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 717

You deserved it 2 423

Need beer now

By Jensen - 16/07/2021 07:01 - United States - Hoffman Estates

Today, I went kayaking with some friends, and I had an empty beer can dedicated to throwing cigarette butts in. After running out of beer, I took a big swig from the only can in my kayak. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 231

You deserved it 1 430

Dude, WTF?

By Anonymous - 18/03/2016 20:57 - United States - Valley Stream

Today, my roommate reached a whole new level of laziness: I caught him casually peeing into an empty beer bottle while laying in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 540

You deserved it 1 374

By killme - 29/02/2016 07:00 - Canada - Belleville

Today, I had to pee in a cup. The cup almost overflowed. My first instinct was to drink some so it didn't spill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 554

You deserved it 23 575

Completely wet

By Anonymous - 27/02/2020 20:00

Today, I was drinking too much and I have to pee constantly, so I went to bed without my girlfriend. Hours later she woke me up wanting sex, but she realized that I pissed the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 739

You deserved it 2 035

By Rakoric - 16/04/2017 22:00

Today, my wife and I went kayaking for the first time in the ocean. She got seasick and just before she threw up, leaned over the side and tipped the kayak over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 844

You deserved it 420

Next

Top comments

LadyRen 20

Tuesday 7 February 2017 18:02

Even with the cap off, peeing in a bottle can be hard for women. We don't have something we can just shove in a bottle easily and pee with.

TheGermanCoon 3

Wednesday 8 February 2017 18:20

She just marked her territory.

Comments

log76 4

Thursday 9 February 2017 15:20

piss in the water damn smh

johnbooger 19

Friday 10 February 2017 4:20

thats why buckets were invented

Firestar268 25

Friday 10 February 2017 20:36

If the cap was on, wouldnt it splash everywhere?

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The Top

Today, while losing my virginity to my boyfriend, I had my first orgasm. I don't remember much of what I said during, but after it was all over, he looks at me and says, "You have terrible grammar during climax." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 364

You deserved it 5 630

Today, I was struggling through an exam and the hot girl next to me seemed to be flying through the questions. So I cheated off her. When we finished I asked her to lunch. She said, "No, I just rushed through the exam so I can go fuck my boyfriend." I got shutdown and probably failed an exam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 701

You deserved it 94 047

The Top

Today, I braved a snowstorm to go into work. An hour later, my boss texted me that they were closing. I was stuck on the road, unable to go home for another 2 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 551

You deserved it 1 718

Today, I got married. When my father gave me away, in front of hundreds of people, to my groom, he said, "She's your problem now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 205

You deserved it 8 741

Today, my dad threatened to hit me if I didn't tell him what I had in my homework. He thinks I won't keep secrets from him this way. There's a reason I kept secrets in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 971

You deserved it 90

Today, my dog apparently vomited straight down a heating vent while I was out. The stench was so bad that when I got home and the smell hit me, I threw up too. Looks like I'll be spending a few days with my mother as the house airs out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 928

You deserved it 1 265

Today, I can now identify which of my four roommates is using the washroom, based on their grunts. I just love having a bedroom beside the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 085

You deserved it 305

Today, I was out walking downtown. A woman walking behind the thought that my pants were hanging too low. She came over to me and yanked my pants up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 056

You deserved it 2 508