Painful, Bikes and Kids: Nature is harsh

Nature is harsh

By fallsdownplenty45 - 02/06/2009 11:08 - Taiwan

Today, I went biking. I attempted a large hill and lost control, slipped, and fell ten feet into a sewage pit. Riding home covered in crap, my sock caught my chain and I flipped over my bike. My dad had to spray me with the garden hose, bloody and shitty, in the front yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 931

You deserved it 6 758

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Same thing different taste

I want to ride my bicycle

By Anonymous - 27/06/2021 14:02

Today, I decided to ride my bike for the first time in over a year. It was seemingly going well, until I got to the first hill. As I began to ascend, I was trying a bit to hard and shit my pants, 8 kilometers away from my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 879

You deserved it 301

By cathugger - 13/07/2019 16:30

Today, while hurrying by bike to an appointment, my chain broke. I quickly got off the road and managed to fix it on the sidewalk, covering my hands in black smear. Dirty but confident about my repair skills, I got up. A second later, felt something warm running down my neck. Bird poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 927

You deserved it 130

By SmellyLeg - 20/11/2017 15:00

Today, my bike slipped on ice and I slid spectacularly for several meters. While my helmet saved me from a cracked skull, nothing could protect me from landing leg-first in the dog poop somebody hadn't bothered to pick up. I had to go to school like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 323

You deserved it 323

By OMGWTF - 13/08/2009 02:01 - United States

Today, while biking home from work, a 12 mile trip, I was speeding down a long hill and my jean pant leg got caught in the chain. It ripped, and then the rest of my pant leg ripped off. I had to bike 10 more miles half naked along the highway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 143

You deserved it 6 148

By me - 11/11/2010 18:11 - United States

Today, my friend and I were racing on our bicycles when my chain snapped. I went over the handlebars and slid, on my back, for about ten feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 281

You deserved it 4 901

By Lawrence - 06/08/2009 04:55 - United States

Today, I was riding my bike to the local grocery store to pick up some supplies for dinner. On the way down, traveling down a hill, I hit a drain with no lid. I went to grab hold of the nearest object to soften my fall. That nearest object was a barbed wire fence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 682

You deserved it 3 739

Don't mind me

By Moon-chan - 30/06/2019 00:30 - Netherlands

Today, I was cycling home. On the way, my laces got stuck in the bicycle pedals and I couldn't move the foot that got stuck. The bicycle fell over, with me attached to it. Everyone was looking at me like, "What are you doing?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 534

You deserved it 352

By maybenot - 06/08/2012 23:25 - United Kingdom

Today, whilst on a cycling holiday, in a somewhat hungover state, I accidentally chained my bike to the back of someone else's caravan. As I walked away, I heard a loud scraping noise. I turned around and watched my bike get dragged down a long gravel road and through a pile of horse shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 827

You deserved it 29 942

Like an animal

By limeychefboy - 23/02/2018 01:30

Today, I was on my motorbike 200km from home, in the middle of nowhere, when I needed to poop, so I found a wooded area and did my thing. As I was climbing back up, I knocked my helmet from its perch and watched it roll right into what I’d just left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 729

You deserved it 2 267

Airtight

By LanaStidolph - 02/12/2017 06:00

Today, I bought shampoos and household chemicals and was heading home on my bike when it started to rain. I felt a weird burning sensation down my back so I stopped and got off the bike. My backpack and jeans were covered in foam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 525

You deserved it 409

poolshark 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 20:17

You might want to look into a tetanus shot and some antibiotics... feces and open wounds do not mix.

padlarf 14

Tuesday 2 June 2009 20:09

Holy shit man!

Comments

Cdldriver 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 22:31

Such a pendejo how old are you?

redmen44 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 22:32

Haha noob

xHaniffax 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 22:33

I know this is awful but it made me chuckle :/ Hope you're okay?

SayNo2Quack 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 22:34

Totally and 100% deserved that.

0geckofun_ 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 22:34

YDI for riding a bike. only idiots ride bikes. seriously, what kind of a loser are you?

firey994 0

Monday 17 May 2010 19:50

99 lots of people ride bikes. your probably some fatass who eat mcdonalds and burger king for every meal

fml1358 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 22:36

man that sucks. and #99 a lot of people ride bikes and they aren't idiots

Lokkjaw 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 22:37

Haha bichass you def deserve it for effin showing off

jeremymg91 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 22:39

Haha this is a true FML

0geckofun_ 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 22:42

#100 you are a loser. you are perpetrating the lie. bikeriders are filthy communists.

famster 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 22:43

Your life ******* sucks were you covered in shit like the slumdog kid LOL

Keywords

Cats Animals Gross Relatable Health Poopoo peepee Creepy Scary Kids Mental health Parents Cold weather Miscellaneous Embarrassing Love Dating Tinder Cute Work Transportation Cops Awkward Crush Sports Teachers Education AITA Weddings Public freakouts Mother in law

The Top

Today, after talking to a guy for a month, he finally came over and I totally thought sex with him was going to be amazing. Unfortunately, I did all the work and I didn’t even cum, but he did, then he had the nerves to ask me how it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 985

You deserved it 400

Today, my mom told me that I wasn't allowed rights until I was eighteen, or until I took on some duties. The rights include having or expressing ideals that don't match up with hers. She doesn't know what duties I should have. My options are to either take on nonexistent duties, or keep my mouth shut for years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 865

You deserved it 204

The Top

Today, I somehow mistook the Star of David for a Pentagram. My Jewish friends were not amused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 228

You deserved it 792

Today, I went to school wearing the same jacket I had gone hiking in the previous day. When I found out that I had left my 2" pocket knife in the pocket I immediately turned it in to the front office. They promptly had me arrested for bringing a weapon on campus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 010

You deserved it 1 289

Today, I was fooling around with my husband on the bed. I was excited as he lifted my arms up in a seductive way, only to roll deodorant under my armpits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 425

You deserved it 37 456

Today, I learned that not texting my girlfriend for two days is considered dumping her, and is ample reason to screw other men. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 416

You deserved it 10 053

Today, after finally spending the night with my longtime crush, it's as if I can still feel her fingers caressing my hair. But wait, no, that's just the head lice she gave me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 342

You deserved it 3 006

Today, I was getting ready, when I heard my dad in the shower. He was singing along to the song "The Wheel in the Sky" by Journey, except he'd changed the lyrics and was singing, "The dick on this guy needs a rubbin'." It turns out my mom was in the shower with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 429

You deserved it 5 579