Painful, Bikes and Kids: Nature is harsh

Nature is harsh

By fallsdownplenty45 - 02/06/2009 11:08 - Taiwan

Today, I went biking. I attempted a large hill and lost control, slipped, and fell ten feet into a sewage pit. Riding home covered in crap, my sock caught my chain and I flipped over my bike. My dad had to spray me with the garden hose, bloody and shitty, in the front yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 931

You deserved it 6 758

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Same thing different taste

I want to ride my bicycle

By Anonymous - 27/06/2021 14:02

Today, I decided to ride my bike for the first time in over a year. It was seemingly going well, until I got to the first hill. As I began to ascend, I was trying a bit to hard and shit my pants, 8 kilometers away from my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 879

You deserved it 301

By cathugger - 13/07/2019 16:30

Today, while hurrying by bike to an appointment, my chain broke. I quickly got off the road and managed to fix it on the sidewalk, covering my hands in black smear. Dirty but confident about my repair skills, I got up. A second later, felt something warm running down my neck. Bird poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 927

You deserved it 130

By SmellyLeg - 20/11/2017 15:00

Today, my bike slipped on ice and I slid spectacularly for several meters. While my helmet saved me from a cracked skull, nothing could protect me from landing leg-first in the dog poop somebody hadn't bothered to pick up. I had to go to school like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 323

You deserved it 323

By OMGWTF - 13/08/2009 02:01 - United States

Today, while biking home from work, a 12 mile trip, I was speeding down a long hill and my jean pant leg got caught in the chain. It ripped, and then the rest of my pant leg ripped off. I had to bike 10 more miles half naked along the highway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 143

You deserved it 6 148

By me - 11/11/2010 18:11 - United States

Today, my friend and I were racing on our bicycles when my chain snapped. I went over the handlebars and slid, on my back, for about ten feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 281

You deserved it 4 901

By Lawrence - 06/08/2009 04:55 - United States

Today, I was riding my bike to the local grocery store to pick up some supplies for dinner. On the way down, traveling down a hill, I hit a drain with no lid. I went to grab hold of the nearest object to soften my fall. That nearest object was a barbed wire fence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 683

You deserved it 3 739

Don't mind me

By Moon-chan - 30/06/2019 00:30 - Netherlands

Today, I was cycling home. On the way, my laces got stuck in the bicycle pedals and I couldn't move the foot that got stuck. The bicycle fell over, with me attached to it. Everyone was looking at me like, "What are you doing?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 534

You deserved it 352

By maybenot - 06/08/2012 23:25 - United Kingdom

Today, whilst on a cycling holiday, in a somewhat hungover state, I accidentally chained my bike to the back of someone else's caravan. As I walked away, I heard a loud scraping noise. I turned around and watched my bike get dragged down a long gravel road and through a pile of horse shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 827

You deserved it 29 942

Like an animal

By limeychefboy - 23/02/2018 01:30

Today, I was on my motorbike 200km from home, in the middle of nowhere, when I needed to poop, so I found a wooded area and did my thing. As I was climbing back up, I knocked my helmet from its perch and watched it roll right into what I’d just left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 729

You deserved it 2 267

Airtight

By LanaStidolph - 02/12/2017 06:00

Today, I bought shampoos and household chemicals and was heading home on my bike when it started to rain. I felt a weird burning sensation down my back so I stopped and got off the bike. My backpack and jeans were covered in foam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 525

You deserved it 409

poolshark 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 20:17

You might want to look into a tetanus shot and some antibiotics... feces and open wounds do not mix.

padlarf 14

Tuesday 2 June 2009 20:09

Holy shit man!

Comments

cutelilbumny 0

Friday 5 June 2009 9:38

Your life is a peice of shit lol :)

hanoj 0

Friday 5 June 2009 13:44

WOW.

ryshotex 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 3:42

Wow that six bro I feel it pain

EcGyMz 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 18:17

Dude that sucks wtf

RustySpoon 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 19:04

That sucks! Why didn't you get hosed in the backyard?

av232 0

Monday 8 June 2009 11:03

haha, this is one of those MasterCard priceless moments.

lebatsirhc 0

Tuesday 23 June 2009 9:08

Woah I hope you've recovered from all of that. If I could, I'd click the 'I agree, your life is f******" button a million times or more for you. ):

Rubarb_57 0

Wednesday 19 August 2009 6:48

holy shit man that sucks this is one of those moments where u wish that fmylife had a "your life really sucks" button

jazzmancarron 11

Friday 23 October 2009 8:38

wow, that freakin sucks. you definitely wanna go and get your shots updated after that. =/

XxlGhostlxX 0

Tuesday 8 December 2009 0:23

YDI for riding bikes when you can have a nice ride around town

Keywords

Animals Cats Gross Health Relatable Poopoo peepee Parents Creepy Mental health Scary Kids Miscellaneous Cold weather Embarrassing Love Tinder Dating Cute Work Transportation Cops Awkward Crush Sports Teachers Education AITA Weddings Public freakouts Mother in law

The Top

Today, while driving, a minivan cut me off. Pissed, I started honking and cursing. I then went ballistic when the driver waved out the window, smiling. It wasn't until I was at a stoplight that I noticed their "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 401

You deserved it 15 732

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I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 29

The Top

Today, I tried to give a four-year-old I was working with a high-five for finishing his math worksheet. He high-fived me with the pencil. And I don't mean the eraser side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 226

You deserved it 633

Today, I came to visit a friend I haven't seen in 3 years for a fun 2 month vacation of you know what. She has 2 more dogs now and soon as I stepped in her place after flying across the country, there were 2 piles if dog crap on the ground. I already want to fly out of here, and this is only day one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 222

You deserved it 496

Today, yet again, my 3 year-old daughter came home from a few hours with her father, screams and cries over everything, and when she realizes it won't get her anywhere, screams at me that she hates me and that she wants to go home. I calmly told her she is home, and she screamed, "This is not home!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 373

You deserved it 200

Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 577

You deserved it 49 759

Today, I found out I'm pregnant, after quitting my job because they asked us to work for free due to COVID. So because I quit, I'm no longer eligible for maternity leave. I didn’t know that I was 4 months pregnant. I could've just gotten a doctor's note for medical reasons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 026

You deserved it 507

Today, I took my date out for dinner to a seafood restaurant and she ordered expensive prawns. Later, when we had sex, she started to complain about her stomach hurting and then had diarrhea for hours. Great job prawns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 792

You deserved it 5 040