I agree. I've had a "Where is this going?" conversation with each of my serious boyfriends. I'm pretty surprised this isn't a more common practice.

If you already know that marriage is what you both want then sure - propose any way you choose. This guy clearly didn't know that & in that situation a public proposal just puts the girl in a horrible position. The pressure to say "yes" would be immense. Personally I hate being pressurised into a decision and so I would hate to be in a position where I felt compelled to say "yes" even if that was what I actually wanted. Weird eh.

I'd add that it isn't only knowing that marriage is what you both want but knowing that the person will respond well to a high pressure public situation. If my partner had proposed to me in public I would have been upset, embarrassed, and panicked.

@ 17 I am glad it worked out great for you, but unless the couple already has expressed a wish to get married to each other, that is a lot of pressure to put on a girl. I mean, she comes off as a jerk to say no :(

No one can be 100% sure of anything. Life is not a TV show. Why the need to invite people you don't even know in your moment?

Is nobody going to point out that he called his wife "mrs Bastard?"

#69. He is Doc Bastard. of course his wife will be Mrs. Bastard.. Unless she decided to keep her maiden name...

@69 If he is Doc "SoAndSo" then his wife would be Mrs "SoAndSo". Right now, he's Doc Bastard, so his wife is Mrs Bastards. He's got kids called "the little Bastards".... And a dog called Spotted Bastard.

Hey, Doc, how did you propose to Mrs. Bastard?

Who cares if you think it's tacky. Maybe the band members are really close. If the gf had said yes, I would've thought it was a really great idea. And I honestly don't think her refusal had anything to do with the way he proposed. The only possible mistake the OP might have made in this story is not being 100% sure she was going to say yes. And then again, let's give him the benefit of the doubt, sometimes people are that unpredictable.

THIS. As a woman, most of us wait our entire lives to be proposed to. We fantasize about the moment, how romantic it will be. Some of us envision something very grand and public, some hope for something more lowkey and private. But the thing all of those fantasies have in common is that it's OUR moment. It's the moment we will feel the most loved and wanted in our entire lives. Someone chose us, someone we love wants to still be holding our hand when we are old and gross-looking. A double proposal smacks of, "hey, they're getting engaged so what the heck...we might as well, too!" Even if I was the public proposal type, I would be upset at having to share "my" moment. Especially if his proposal was even slightly before yours...completely ruined.

So you'd take social/stranger approval over honesty with your significant other? Sounds like you know A LOT about how relationships are supposed to work. You're a philosopher's dream come true!

And to publicly humiliate someone who, after much preparation and confidence-boosting, poured their heart and soul out to you at the risk of the ultimate heartbreak and rejection is not a heartless act? To forever be remembered by all in attendance as having been a cruel and insensitive jerk for having openly mortified your lover during his/her most vulnerable moments is any better? Like I said, it isn't all about the crowed, but about the lover too. Believe it or not, but to many people, private rejection is better than public humiliation. To each their own, though.

Perhaps it was excitement, however, having wound up on FML, I highly doubt that. Hmm... if the guy believed the relationship was perfect enough to propose yet his proposal receives immediate rejection, then it is safe to say the "relationship perfection" his girl allowed him to feel beforehand was all one big cruel lie in itself. Either way, she destroys his dreams be it sooner or later. That, or he was just imagining things.

*put on

She could have said yes?