Health: New day, same shit - FML

New day, same shit

By PickYourselfUp - 06/10/2014 03:17 - United States - Chesapeake

Today, was the day I would turn my life around and start losing weight. I went outside for my first run and said, "I got this!" I confidently stepped forward, the first symbolic steps to my new life. In the anticipation, I forgot my porch had steps. I face-planted on my driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 907

You deserved it 8 660

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/03/2013 19:35 - United States - Calexico

Today, I decided to turn my life around and start exercising more. I didn't even make it out the door before I tripped and fractured my ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 080

You deserved it 4 722

A little stiff and rusty

By Footloose - 11/09/2023 14:30

Today, I went for a run to get in shape for the first time in ages. I put on my running shoes and hit the pavement. Halfway through, the sole of one shoe came off, and I had to hobble back home in embarrassment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 553

You deserved it 111

By SeeTony - 19/11/2009 07:33 - United States

Today, I decided to begin jogging since my weight was getting a little out of control and I wanted to do something about it. Guess who tripped on a root and broke their ankle? Yeah. Exactly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 867

You deserved it 5 525

Fitness time

By Anonymous - 18/10/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, after finally getting over my ex, it felt like it was time to climb back into the dreaded dating pool. I also recognized that I need to get in shape to maximize my chances, so I went running. Half a mile in, I tripped over my own feet, landed face-first in a bush, and had to walk home covered in leaves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 109

By Anonymous - 30/12/2010 07:14 - Australia

Today, I finally went running to help me start losing weight. I got 50 metres before someone in a passing car shouted out "Run fatty, run". I can't work up the courage to go for a run again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 084

You deserved it 7 403

Shelved plans

By twobyfour - 15/10/2019 12:00

Today, after spending two hard months losing 20 pounds of my 80 pound goal, I was actually excited to exercise. After I was done exercising, I fell down the stairs and broke my ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 815

You deserved it 211

Bad start

By Kathryn - 28/10/2021 07:59 - United States

Today, I was getting ready for school and stepped out on my porch to go wait for the bus. I literally said out loud, “Today is gonna be a good day.” I took one step and fell all the way down the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 022

You deserved it 187

By Monkey253100 - 03/06/2012 14:47 - France

Today, I decided to be healthy and go for a run. I broke my ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 393

You deserved it 4 104

Deez nuts

By King7 - 09/01/2010 10:17 - Pakistan

Today, I got on a treadmill for the first time. I was running at a very high speed. I needed a break but didn't know how to get off. I decided to just let the machine take me to the edge so I could get off. I was thrown off the treadmill and landed with my happy sacks crashing into a dumbbell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 744

You deserved it 42 560

By Anonymous - 18/01/2015 16:34 - Ireland

Today, after the longest time, I went to the gym. I ran and ran and ran on the treadmill for an eternity, beating myself up for getting so overweight. Then I tripped and fell off, sweating and sobbing for being so useless. When I looked up, I saw I'd been on the machine for barely 2 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 968

You deserved it 20 686

Next

Top comments

doumtabarnack 12

Monday 6 October 2014 14:40

Get yourself together OP

nana_star 27

Monday 6 October 2014 14:41

It just wasn't meant to be. Have some pizza and celebrate

Comments

nitrog100 21

Tuesday 7 October 2014 17:36

One does not simply forget that they have stairs.

tbon3r 15

Tuesday 7 October 2014 20:19

maybe Destiny is trying to tell you something

kenzie_gauche 12

Tuesday 7 October 2014 22:10

Ahhhh 'Merica

yumyumpower 16

Wednesday 8 October 2014 3:34

Omg

Jay224 0

Wednesday 8 October 2014 4:11

Then get up and start walking with your busted face. Quitters whine about stupid crap. Winners get up one more time than they fall down.

Micheal23 19

Friday 10 October 2014 0:25

Baby steps OP

BlackPanda13 19

Saturday 30 July 2016 6:38

how do you forget? did you move in the day before or something?

Paul Rushing 21

Saturday 17 March 2018 21:44

Don't make up fml's

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The Top

Today, I arrived at a camp and met one of my roommates. At bedtime, I had energy still, so I did push-ups. The guy was asleep or so I thought because he was facing the wall. The guy thought I was jacking off and told everyone I did it in the middle of our room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 863

You deserved it 2 846

Today, while driving with my family, the car got stuck in a large patch of mud. My family of seven decided that I, the fifteen year old girl, would be best suited to push it out. After slipping, falling, and getting completely covered in mud, they finally called a tow truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 255

You deserved it 3 821

The Top

Today, my boss fired me for dating a co-worker. There's no policy forbidding it; he just thought it was unfair that I could get with the "hottest girl who works here" but he can't. I live in an at-will employment state. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 654

You deserved it 3 281

Today, while watching my guinea pigs have sex, I got jealous. Yeah. It's been that long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 271

You deserved it 13 113

Today, I inquired about getting a raise from a company that I've been with for 5 years. My manager said I'll get one starting February 29th. FML

I agree, your life sucks 906

You deserved it 74

Today, I started recording my piano exam pieces to submit, and I was proud at my interpretation that I spent time trying to make it sound good. That was until my tutor walked in and said I had "shit rhythm and ass intonation." My mom was there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 102

Today, I found out my boyfriend gave me a surprise birthday present: herpes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 960

You deserved it 7 439

Today, I've just lost over £12,000 and it's not even halfway through the trading day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 040

You deserved it 8 747