Sex and Intimacy: Nice try, chief

Nice try, chief

By Anonymous - 04/04/2011 01:46 - United States

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 978

You deserved it 15 187

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Same thing different taste

The best method!

By Anonymous - 04/01/2020 18:00

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 980

You deserved it 954

By Anonymous - 19/04/2010 20:36 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. He followed it with, "Want to try anal?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 680

You deserved it 9 737

By what the fuck - 07/06/2013 21:20 - United Kingdom - Northolt

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get intimate for the first time. He said he didn't want to use a condom, and that I should just give him one of my birth control pills instead, "so we can still be just as safe". What the hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 821

You deserved it 9 992

By Anonymous - 23/02/2013 18:27 - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 308

You deserved it 48 638

By Anonymous - 29/12/2010 11:25 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the very first time in three years. Apparently, all it took was anal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 681

You deserved it 13 291

By Picaresque - 26/02/2009 17:57 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285 944

You deserved it 68 198

Sounds more like a fetish…

By Jordan - 08/04/2012 10:37 - Australia - Wahroonga

Today, my boyfriend told me that he believes getting kicked in the balls is a scientifically-proven method of birth control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 427

You deserved it 3 572

By anonymous - 13/11/2015 00:00 - Netherlands

Today, my boyfriend rather stupidly assumed that because my vagina is no longer in use after giving birth, we would automatically start having anal sex. After I loudly explained how that wasn't happening, he then had the nerve to ask for a blowjob before we'd even left the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 319

You deserved it 3 947

Non sequitur

By lisacasabonita - 12/11/2010 16:31 - United States

Today, while at dinner, I told my boyfriend that I wished he liked sushi. He replied, "I wish you liked anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 219

You deserved it 42 497

By fuckered519 - 06/12/2014 19:53 - United States - Du Quoin

Today, being useless at thinking of gifts, I asked my boyfriend what he wants for Christmas. I said it could be anything that I could afford. He looked me in the eye and said very seriously: "Anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 235

You deserved it 12 613

Mirorbo 26

Monday 4 April 2011 9:17

That's when you whip out a sex toy and tell him "You first"!~

Joeyc524 0

Monday 4 April 2011 9:16

Hahahha that's mad funny

Comments

greed_is_good 0

Wednesday 6 April 2011 21:26

that mans a genius

KaitlynJohan 4

Wednesday 6 April 2011 21:28

lol , I like him !

ThankfullyNotYou 1

Thursday 7 April 2011 1:13

Do NOT have sex with this guy.

fenfen16 5

Thursday 7 April 2011 1:31

LAD

Jasmine143 0

Thursday 7 April 2011 1:36

Lmao , I Love Your Boyfriend <3 xDD

marissabunge23 0

Thursday 7 April 2011 4:34

fyl

dbaldonado 0

Thursday 7 April 2011 6:01

lmao!

gizz104 0

Thursday 7 April 2011 8:51

I know where it is..its in your butt

Nick_1993 2

Thursday 7 April 2011 21:34

have fun!

Riemurasia 0

Friday 8 April 2011 1:06

Hah, nice one :D besides, don't worry, Anal sex is lovely!

Keywords

Animals Cats Poopoo peepee Gross Smells Love Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Health Painful First Dates Christmas Work Social Media Music Grieving Anniversary Boredom Abuse Ironic Intimacy Drunk AITA Transportation Am I overreacting? Alcohol Parents Gun control Kids

The Top

Today, I asked my boyfriend to spend the night at my house because my dad would be working out of town, and once the rest of the house left I thought it'd be sweet if he snuck in my room and slept with me. His reply was, "Why bother? You're on your period, it's not like we can do anything." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 270

You deserved it 14 173

Today, I'm all alone for the holidays. The guy I was kicking it with ghosted me. I went to the guy I rejected for being too overweight for my taste, and not only has he lost weight, he now has a girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 1 130

The Top

Today, as I was about to enter a public restroom, a man walked out and said, "You may want to hold your nose in there. I just took the biggest dump of my life." It was the ladies' restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 198

You deserved it 3 373

Today, after two weeks visiting my boyfriend's family in rural Mississippi, we finally returned to civilization. Unfortunately, I pick up on accents really easily, and now I sound like a hick. My boyfriend thinks it's cute, but I hate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 430

You deserved it 634

Today, I went to the self-checkout line at Walmart. When I tried to pay, the cash wouldn't go in, so I stood there trying to cram money into the thing that's supposed to take your money. What I didn't realize was that there was a sign up top that said: "No Cash. Cards Only." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 914

You deserved it 41 648

Today, I got fired from a business I ran for almost 6 years. Why? The new owner refuses to close, despite our governor ordering non-essential businesses to close, and for people to stay home. I told her I wasn’t comfortable working, and that it was technically illegal. So she fired me in a group chat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 283

You deserved it 199

Today, I found out that the pool boy has been stealing from me for over a year now. The latest things that he has taken are my laptop, the cash I hide in my closet, and my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 801

You deserved it 4 331

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by covering my car with post-it notes that read "it's you not me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 306

You deserved it 4 024