Animals: Nice - FML

Nice

By happypineapple - 17/07/2014 03:31 - Australia - Scarborough

Today, I went to a market. I saw stall which had mainly animal furs and things like that. I found a rounded, furry pen and stroked my cheek with it. Wondering what it was, being so soft and oddly shaped, I checked the tag. It was kangaroo testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 686

You deserved it 19 910

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Same thing different taste

By parkertownparadise - 16/02/2012 07:43 - United States

Today, after applying for a job at the local pet store, I picked up a ferret. It began licking my cheek, causing me to turn my head. It then latched onto my ear and hung like a giant furry hoop earring. I screamed, then quietly left the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 185

You deserved it 4 782

By Anonymous - 23/04/2013 15:49 - Australia

Today, my mother and I saw a stall selling colourful treats at the shopping centre. Some were placed on small dishes, so we thought we'd sample their goods. Turns out that the colourful goodies that we'd bit into were very creative pieces of soap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 218

You deserved it 45 485

By laundryduty - 15/06/2019 20:14

Today, I was doing laundry at work. I work at a spay/neuter clinic and was about to throw in a load of towels when I noticed something in the washer. It looked like one of the detergent packets we use. It was a testicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 986

You deserved it 179

Little demon

By Hackmanjones - 13/06/2009 14:42 - Canada

Today, I was volunteering at a zoo event for special needs kids. My job was to dress up in a kangaroo costume and greet the kids. One kid came up and said, "You're not real!" and kicked me in the nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 426

You deserved it 4 816

By Puppylove - 26/02/2013 18:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my friend's house, when she commented that her dog's fur kept getting tangled because of its length. I reached over to tickle his tummy, felt a big tangled knot and agreed that he needed a good grooming. Then I realized what I'd grabbed wasn't fur. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 907

You deserved it 10 292

By toadface - 04/08/2009 23:25 - United States

Today, I took my puppy outside to play. At one point, she stopped chewing on her toy and ran over to give me a big kiss all over my face and mouth. A few minutes later I realized that her chew toy was actually the dried up carcass of a toad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 519

You deserved it 7 983

By australian6196 - 05/02/2014 02:36 - Australia - Sydney

Today, while on a road trip through Australia with my dad, we were both complaining that we had yet to see any kangaroos. Suddenly, we saw one up real close. The rental car saw it even closer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 762

You deserved it 7 478

By adad - 01/02/2010 14:34 - France

Today, I was walking by a pond when I saw a small frog. I decided to catch it to get a close look. After I picked it up, I realized that it was not a frog. It was dog shit shaped like a frog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 815

You deserved it 38 043

Natural history

By latino - 11/11/2010 11:30 - United States

Today, at the museum I volunteer at, I was touching some of the things in the exhibit where you can feel what natural boobs and testes feel like. I started rolling the "boob" like a stress ball and forgot where I was. When I realized people were staring, it became very awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 547

You deserved it 43 715

By Anonymous - 05/03/2012 16:36 - United Kingdom

Today, a stuffed ferret was the latest addition to the list of weird items my colleagues have found in our rubbish tip, and that they put in my office. The list also includes explicit fetish porn playing cards, live ammo and dead pheasants, to name a few. I need a new job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 148

You deserved it 2 601

Next

Top comments

ItsAUnicorn 27

Thursday 17 July 2014 11:30

Tea bag!

RageWolf16 31

Thursday 17 July 2014 11:31

It's okay my dad owns the penis bone of a walrus

Comments

CoolWhip025 8

Thursday 17 July 2014 19:21

She took some balls to the face

xaru 21

Thursday 17 July 2014 19:34

That's pretty ballsy

buckdharma 37

Thursday 17 July 2014 19:36

It's okay op. Who hasn't had fur on their face before not knowing what type of animal they were?

luckylizardspod 4

Thursday 17 July 2014 19:39

Tea bagged by a Kangaroo! WIN!

pinklala15 3

Thursday 17 July 2014 20:36

It seems like a very furry situation.

Angelkisses130 26

Thursday 17 July 2014 21:37

Well this is certainly a...unique...fml...

empbob 20

Thursday 17 July 2014 22:19

Tea bagged by a kangaroo, that's something to add to a resume...

EmmaLemma121499 2

Thursday 17 July 2014 23:10

I just died

Ki11erC 18

Thursday 17 July 2014 23:15

Rub the pineapple against your face next time, soon see who's happy then.

Chezzlova 5

Thursday 17 July 2014 23:45

Poor Kangaroo.

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The Top

Today, my dad agreed to let me borrow the car to go rock climbing with my friends. He'd just filled it up with gas, which is how I realized halfway back home that one of my "friends" had siphoned well over half the gas straight out of the tank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 896

You deserved it 2 259

USA, USA, USA; well, almost. Today we're not welcoming a French artist, not even an American artist, but an artist from... oh, you'll see! Are you in a hurry or something? Why can't we just sit down, have a nice cup of tea and talk about the future? ...

I agree, your life sucks 10

You deserved it 15

The Top

Today, my girlfriend of 7 months broke up with me because I refused to get her name tattooed on my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 397

You deserved it 2 453

Another stand off, pick your fave!

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 124

Today, a coworker told me I was "fat shaming" them by discussing weight loss with other coworkers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 609

You deserved it 733

Today, my demented mother-in-law had my dog euthanized while I was on vacation, because he was, "too feral and disorderly." Why? Because he, "peed on the grass." I had that dog for 9 years. Why couldn’t my husband put her in a nursing home instead? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 561

You deserved it 102

Today, I found out that one of the students at my old school had committed suicide. Several months earlier, I'd informed the school counselor that said student appeared to be suicidal. Apparently, teachers dismissing her as "lazy" when she was actually very, very depressed was a big factor. Man, fuck that school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 673

You deserved it 77

Today, I walked into my new maths class. I stepped inside only to be yelled at by the teacher for nearly 15 minutes. I was then told never to enter her class again and was sent to the principal. My identical twin brother was in her class the period before me. He also has a thing for older women. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 027

You deserved it 3 340