Health, Embarrassing, Roommate and Farts: Night time entertainment

Night time entertainment

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I woke up next to my roommate staring in horror. She said I was singing and farting in my sleep. Loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 282

You deserved it 433

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Same thing different taste

Freak out

By zAstonish - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and felt deep breathing on my neck. I screamed, fell off the bed and busted my nose. It was just my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 262

You deserved it 4 197

Dude, what the…?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I woke up to my apartment filled with smoke, fire alarms blaring. My roommate set my kitchen on fire while making hot dogs. This is the fourth time this has happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 041

You deserved it 4 755

The smell test

By sosadstudent - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Netherlands

Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 105

You deserved it 4 461

By Myriam - 18/06/2012 16:05 - Maldives - Male

Today, my husband recorded me getting out of bed and sleepwalking all the way into the backyard and straight into our pool. He was too busy giggling like a schoolgirl to help me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 855

You deserved it 3 408

Sounds promising

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I poured my heart out to my girlfriend of two years expressing my feelings for her. She responded with, "I'm going to bed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 770

You deserved it 3 235

Hungover

By RedheadA - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my husband and I woke up to see my drunk mother passed out on our couch. She was wearing nothing but socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 651

You deserved it 3 696

Bad boy

By Shiva - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - France - Niort

Today, I cleaned my apartment from top to bottom. Once I was done, I looked over at my puppy, who then woke up, stretched, got out of his basket and started to pee. I shouted, "No!" Scared, he then ran all over the place, still peeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 788

You deserved it 9 674

Self report

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was with my 3 year-old son in the doctor's office. During the exam, he informed the doctor that he doesn't sleep in mommy's bed anymore because mommy sleeps in her underwear and farts all night long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 710

You deserved it 8 763

Glade

By stinkystinky - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, after cleaning the whole house, I still couldn't get rid of the foul smell. Later, my roommate revealed his new place to "stash and dry" his socks: The ventilation ducts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 941

You deserved it 967

I'm OK!

By MAC. - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Toronto

Today, I slammed the car door on my head while I was getting in the car. If that wasn't bad enough, my boyfriend is convinced I now have a concussion and insists on waking me up every hour to make sure I'm still alive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 446

You deserved it 6 039

BurnInDemonFire 34

Wednesday 24 October 2018 6:05

Can't wait to see you on America's Got Talent, or one of its sister shows.

JustThatPerson 21

Saturday 10 November 2018 20:04

WAKE ME UP INSIDES

Comments

BurnInDemonFire 34

Wednesday 24 October 2018 6:05

Can't wait to see you on America's Got Talent, or one of its sister shows.

Takegami 22

Saturday 10 November 2018 15:55

Someone told me I do metal vocals in my sleep. So you’re fine

BurnInDemonFire 34

Saturday 10 November 2018 19:55

Miley Cyrus isn't metal, dude.

r 8

Saturday 10 November 2018 16:14

It was a musical for the senses

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 10 November 2018 19:04

Looks like you put another tuba player out of work.

whiskey'swino 15

Saturday 10 November 2018 20:02

Why in horror? She should be posting that to youtube, you'll be an internet sensation!

JustThatPerson 21

Saturday 10 November 2018 20:04

WAKE ME UP INSIDES

BurnInDemonFire 34

Sunday 11 November 2018 1:27

"SAVE ME FROM THE SOMETHING IN MY BUM!"

wanted_2_want 40

Saturday 10 November 2018 21:47

If you were in a rithmic tune then you’re awesome.

BeachMammal 8

Saturday 10 November 2018 22:49

If she reacts to that with horror, she has led a very sheltered life indeed.

rcrumbak 9

Sunday 11 November 2018 22:08

Total eclipse of the FART!

Xavier K. Valdez 8

Saturday 9 February 2019 0:35

Lol what the ****? That is awesome!

Keywords

TV shows Miscellaneous Work Awkward Coworkers Politics Transportation Embarrassing Ironic Relatable Instagram Social Media Parenting Shopping AITA Am I overreacting? Jealousy Love Kids Pranks Friends Dogs Housework Cars Technology Porn Sports Health Accident Mental health

The Top

Today, I was driving home from my friend's house and noticed this really cute girl riding her bike. She had an amazing body, beautiful blonde hair, and looked like my kind of girl! About 10 minutes after I got home, my sister pulled up. She had just biked home from the hair salon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 271

You deserved it 30 148

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for "cheating" on him with his best friend. What did I do? I gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek when I finally met him in person, after years of hearing about how great he is and how much we would get along. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 161

The Top

Today, my boyfriend tried to break up with me again, and actually offered me gas money so that I would leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 524

You deserved it 2 010

Today, I found the dog I lost while I was dog sitting. It was with its new adoptive family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 489

You deserved it 1 579

Today, I walked in on my wife masturbating. Naturally, I asked her if she needed some help. She replied, "Nah, I've got this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 810

You deserved it 17 109

Today, I was at my favorite Mexican restaurant when I realized my really cute waiter, along with his buddies kept looking at me and smiling. Trying to be cool, I took a bite of my burrito, choked, and spilled ground beef down my new shirt and in my bra. They laughed the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 536

You deserved it 38 667

Today, I was in the supermarket when I saw a little boy trying to reach for something on the top shelf. I went over to him and asked if his mom knew where he was. The boy turned around. He was actually a very angry midget. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 578

You deserved it 57 170

Today, after I cooked dinner, my girlfriend told me how much she missed me and how she wanted to spend more sexy time together. We climbed into bed and, right in the midst of getting frisky, her ADHD kicked in big time, so her mind went astray and then she just fell asleep. Perhaps some Adderall? FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 122

Same thing different taste

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