Health, Embarrassing, Roommate and Farts: Night time entertainment

Night time entertainment

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I woke up next to my roommate staring in horror. She said I was singing and farting in my sleep. Loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 284

You deserved it 433

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Same thing different taste

Freak out

By zAstonish - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and felt deep breathing on my neck. I screamed, fell off the bed and busted my nose. It was just my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 262

You deserved it 4 197

Dude, what the…?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I woke up to my apartment filled with smoke, fire alarms blaring. My roommate set my kitchen on fire while making hot dogs. This is the fourth time this has happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 044

You deserved it 4 755

The smell test

By sosadstudent - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Netherlands

Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 105

You deserved it 4 462

By Myriam - 18/06/2012 16:05 - Maldives - Male

Today, my husband recorded me getting out of bed and sleepwalking all the way into the backyard and straight into our pool. He was too busy giggling like a schoolgirl to help me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 862

You deserved it 3 408

Sounds promising

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I poured my heart out to my girlfriend of two years expressing my feelings for her. She responded with, "I'm going to bed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 771

You deserved it 3 236

Hungover

By RedheadA - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my husband and I woke up to see my drunk mother passed out on our couch. She was wearing nothing but socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 652

You deserved it 3 696

Bad boy

By Shiva - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - France - Niort

Today, I cleaned my apartment from top to bottom. Once I was done, I looked over at my puppy, who then woke up, stretched, got out of his basket and started to pee. I shouted, "No!" Scared, he then ran all over the place, still peeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 788

You deserved it 9 674

Self report

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was with my 3 year-old son in the doctor's office. During the exam, he informed the doctor that he doesn't sleep in mommy's bed anymore because mommy sleeps in her underwear and farts all night long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 711

You deserved it 8 763

Glade

By stinkystinky - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, after cleaning the whole house, I still couldn't get rid of the foul smell. Later, my roommate revealed his new place to "stash and dry" his socks: The ventilation ducts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 941

You deserved it 967

I'm OK!

By MAC. - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Toronto

Today, I slammed the car door on my head while I was getting in the car. If that wasn't bad enough, my boyfriend is convinced I now have a concussion and insists on waking me up every hour to make sure I'm still alive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 449

You deserved it 6 042

BurnInDemonFire 34

Wednesday 24 October 2018 6:05

Can't wait to see you on America's Got Talent, or one of its sister shows.

JustThatPerson 21

Saturday 10 November 2018 20:04

WAKE ME UP INSIDES

Comments

BurnInDemonFire 34

Wednesday 24 October 2018 6:05

Can't wait to see you on America's Got Talent, or one of its sister shows.

Takegami 22

Saturday 10 November 2018 15:55

Someone told me I do metal vocals in my sleep. So you’re fine

BurnInDemonFire 34

Saturday 10 November 2018 19:55

Miley Cyrus isn't metal, dude.

r 8

Saturday 10 November 2018 16:14

It was a musical for the senses

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 10 November 2018 19:04

Looks like you put another tuba player out of work.

whiskey'swino 15

Saturday 10 November 2018 20:02

Why in horror? She should be posting that to youtube, you'll be an internet sensation!

JustThatPerson 21

Saturday 10 November 2018 20:04

WAKE ME UP INSIDES

BurnInDemonFire 34

Sunday 11 November 2018 1:27

"SAVE ME FROM THE SOMETHING IN MY BUM!"

wanted_2_want 40

Saturday 10 November 2018 21:47

If you were in a rithmic tune then you’re awesome.

BeachMammal 8

Saturday 10 November 2018 22:49

If she reacts to that with horror, she has led a very sheltered life indeed.

rcrumbak 9

Sunday 11 November 2018 22:08

Total eclipse of the FART!

Xavier K. Valdez 8

Saturday 9 February 2019 0:35

Lol what the ****? That is awesome!

Keywords

Health Gross Healthy Lifestyle Poopoo peepee Christmas Work Ironic Video games Holidays Gamers AITA Love Embarrassing Public freakouts Am I overreacting? Gifts Racism Miscellaneous Family Toxic Drunk Friends Coworkers Furniture Parents Intimacy Sex Relatable Lonely Money

The Top

Today, my 8 year-old sister tried vaping. My parents found out and planned on yelling at her, but nothing happened. She even got a reward for being curious. When I was 15 and got my first piercing (in the ear) I kinda got beat, and slept outside for the night. It makes me wonder what's going on sometimes… FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 84

Today, after having a long talk with my mother about LGBT rights, she told me that she was totally open. I felt completely relieved, being gay myself. Seconds later, she said, "But not for you. I want you to find me a nice girl that can give me lots of grandkids." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 059

You deserved it 5 241

The Top

Today, after I was finally able to afford a house in a nicer area so my kids could go to a better school, I was practically in the house for about 30 seconds before I started getting messages from neighbours, insinuating they don’t appreciate “my sort” and I should, “piss off back to Muslim-land.” I was born in Oxford. FML

I agree, your life sucks 989

You deserved it 137

Today, these cute girls approached me and asked me to take a picture of them. One girl asked me if I could send it to her because her phone had died. I was excited to have her number, but it turns out that she deleted the message after she sent the picture to herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 278

You deserved it 7 666

Today, I went to see the cast list for the new musical I'm in. I didn't get the part I wanted, and instead I got the part of one of the suitors. Interestingly, they made me the suitor to my ex. And the guy she leaves me for at the end of the musical is the guy she left me for in real life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 453

You deserved it 3 142

Today, I was caught on a hot mic during a work department meeting complaining about someone using a leaf blower, F-bombs and all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 237

You deserved it 871

Today, I found out I might have Covid due to my manager's roommate getting it by being irresponsible. Two days ago, I found out I may have hep A from getting takeout at a restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 070

You deserved it 136

Today, while walking in the mall, I spotted my ex boyfriend with his friends. To make myself look less lonely, I put my iPhone up to my ear and started an imaginary conversation with my invisible boyfriend. As I passed him, my phone started ringing loudly. It was him calling. He knew I was faking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 430

You deserved it 46 003

Same thing different taste

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