Cats, Dating and Love: No one disturbs the masters

No one disturbs the masters

By Anonymous - 01/08/2015 04:10 - United States - Erie

Today, I went to the restaurant where my date and I were supposed to meet. After half an hour he still hadn't arrived, so I texted him. He replied with a half-hearted apology and said he couldn't come because his cat had fallen asleep on his lap and he didn't want to wake it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 357

You deserved it 3 233

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Same thing different taste

Where are you?

By Anonymous - 05/09/2024 06:00 - United States - Buffalo

Today, I had a date with someone I met online. We agreed to meet at a nice restaurant. I got there early, ordered a drink, and waited. And waited. An hour later, I texted to ask where he was. His response? "I’ve been watching you from my car for the last hour. Decided you’re not my type." FML

I agree, your life sucks 622

You deserved it 103

Differences

By Alone - 21/05/2014 11:05 - United States - Washington

Today, I finally had a date, my first one in well over a year. Everything was going good, until my date asked, "Do you like cats or dogs better?" When I responded cats, my date promptly got up and left, saying, "This isn't meant to be." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 406

You deserved it 12 894

By hopelesss88 - 17/06/2010 12:42 - Australia

Today, I had a first date planned. He texted saying he was sick and couldn't make it. Two hours later, his Twitter account said otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 625

You deserved it 4 328

By nightxxtime - 10/01/2017 14:39

Today, a guy I'm dating was supposed to come over. He would have if I haven't fell asleep while he was waiting for me to open the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 836

You deserved it 3 450

Bad date #3764

By Greenpuppy416 - 04/07/2020 05:02

Today, I had a date at a formal restaurant I'm well known at. My date showed up two and a half hours late with a jogging suit on, and then got mad at me for ordering, eating, and paying without him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 822

You deserved it 151

Running late

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I woke up very excited because I was going on my first date with this guy I really liked. I dressed very nicely and went to where we were supposed to meet. I waited for about 2 hours. I called him to ask him where he was. He got angry because he was still sleeping and I woke him up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 153

You deserved it 3 878

By great. - 02/01/2013 18:59

Today, I went on a first date with the guy I really like. During our dinner, he said he needed to go to the bathroom. You guessed it: he didn't come back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 978

You deserved it 3 564

By Lilly - 02/10/2013 12:43 - United States - Conway

Today, I was on a dinner date with a guy I really like. I guess I was on my phone too much because halfway through the date he sent me a text saying how much my half of the bill would be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 681

You deserved it 124 331

By kill the audience - 10/11/2016 17:51 - United States - Lewes

Today, I was sitting in the restaurant waiting for my blind date to come. I had sat for an hour until I finally got fed up and went to leave when at the same time the guy at the table next to me stood up to leave too. I noticed he had been sitting alone. Turns out he was my date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 470

You deserved it 2 020

Overenthusiastic

By Sash - 06/04/2012 21:04 - United Kingdom

Today, I dressed up for a date. After waiting for hours, sending countless texts and voice mails to my date, and thinking I'd been stood up, I remembered my date is actually scheduled for tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 620

You deserved it 38 369

Koalax3 18

Sunday 2 August 2015 0:38

I would've honestly asked him if i could go over so I could play with the cat.. But that's just me

booze_n_bitches 37

Sunday 2 August 2015 0:40

"Pleading cat" - a genuine excuse in my household to excuse oneself from any activity. I'm with him on this one.

Comments

joshi42 16

Sunday 2 August 2015 10:52

Are you dating Buddha?

lulu2122 3

Sunday 2 August 2015 11:08

seems legit

Sangue0608 26

Sunday 2 August 2015 15:51

At least you know he cares about his pussy.

jen1097 25

Sunday 2 August 2015 16:34

He's a keeper

Saso_fml 35

Sunday 2 August 2015 16:40

A cat nap is a holy issue ! Personally i would've been more interested in the cat rather than the fact that he hadn't shown up!

junpeiIori 17

Sunday 2 August 2015 17:39

At the very least and I'm looking on the bright side here. If you fell asleep on his shoulder/lap/chest, he won't move you?

wowboob 8

Sunday 2 August 2015 19:36

One pussy was more important than the other one I suppose

LycanGod 27

Sunday 2 August 2015 20:11

he is not worth it. he clearly didn't want the date or spend the time of day on you. it's ok OP you will find someone better

BlaqMontana 16

Sunday 2 August 2015 22:24

lmao.. what the **** did I just read? FYL mehn!

MrKilgore 14

Sunday 2 August 2015 23:22

the struggles of being a cat owner. .

Keywords

Gross Poopoo peepee Cats Animals Awkward Smells Love Miscellaneous Embarrassing Painful Health First Dates Work Christmas Social Media Grieving Music Boredom Anniversary Abuse Intimacy Ironic Alcohol AITA Am I overreacting? Transportation Drunk Parents Kids Gun control

The Top

Today, my mom texted me in the middle of my end of term math exam, saying it was extremely urgent and needed me to come home ASAP. While skipping my exam, I finally got home to find out my mom forgot what the emergency was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 786

You deserved it 6 163

Today, after 10+ years of being best friends, I finally told my best friend "I love you" while we were on the phone. To which she said, "That's OK, but…" and continued the conversation. Maybe I shouldn't have drank so much, or waited so long. We're both in happy marriages, with kids with other people now though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89

You deserved it 853

The Top

Today, I had to stop my son from climbing out the window, slithering on the stairs like a snake, and attempting to call 911 to help bring him down from his “bad trip”. What caused all this? His older brother convinced him the dried mushrooms in the kitchen were ‘shrooms and the idiot beloved him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 877

You deserved it 161

Today, the first guy I have dated, and have had a serious relationship with after my divorce, is spending the night with his ex-girlfriend. And I'm supposed to be ok with it, “nothing's going to happen.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 943

You deserved it 105

Today, after telling my boss about my hearing problem, she simply told me to "listen harder". FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 937

You deserved it 525

Today, my family and I were going to start moving into our old house, and the large two hundred year old tree decided to move in too... through the roof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 556

You deserved it 208

Today, I got a wedgie after a workout class. As I was walking, I used my gym bag to discreetly unwedgie it, and then turned around to check that no one was there. The cute guy that I had a crush on last year was right behind me, and by the look on his face, it wasn't discreet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 296

You deserved it 6 180

Today, a girl in my class threw a temper tantrum. Why? Because she wanted my seat. We're in high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 261

You deserved it 1 434