Sex, Parents and Intimacy: Nooooooo! - FML

Nooooooo!

By ScarredEars - 12/08/2010 12:02 - United States

Spicy

Today, I heard my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been so bad if we weren't in the same hotel room. They thought I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 391

You deserved it 3 801

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 03/01/2009 16:48 - France

Spicy

Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 692

You deserved it 4 395

By Anonymous - 01/08/2019 09:00 - United States - San Diego

Spicy

Today, I caught my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been as mortifying if they weren't doing it in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 476

You deserved it 219

By GoldenTornado11 - 10/05/2017 14:00

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 141

You deserved it 559

Thin walls

By xtilltheendx - 05/10/2020 20:08 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had to have an awkward conversation with my parents when they told me they were able to hear me and my boyfriend having sex at night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 1 422

Excuse me

By Anonymous - 30/03/2015 10:30 - United States - Cincinnati

Spicy

Today, my parents walked in on me, having sex. No, I wasn't having sex. They were. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 322

You deserved it 3 801

By whoawhoawhoa - 28/12/2010 22:04 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 634

You deserved it 4 984

By yourstruly - 11/02/2010 19:40 - United States

Spicy

Today, I woke up to the sound of someone having sex in the room next to me. I don't have a roommate. Turns out my mom thought I was out of town and used her extra key to bring a guy over for sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 714

You deserved it 2 361

Boundaries

By Anonymous - 14/10/2020 02:01

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my parents, who are in their late 50s, having sex. That's not the worst part, it's understandable; we all have needs. However, I walked in on them doing it on my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 724

You deserved it 157

By Headphones - 21/07/2009 21:38 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was lying in bed, trying to sleep, when I heard my parents having sex, so I put on my headphones. After listening to music for a good long while, I figured they were done by now, so I took off the headphones just in time to hear them finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 643

You deserved it 5 707

By fmjob - 21/07/2009 04:39 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 298

You deserved it 6 253

Next

Top comments

thriceforme 3

Thursday 12 August 2010 19:16

eww

rlerke 0

Thursday 12 August 2010 19:22

you should have started farting, nothing kills the mood like a wet fart.

Comments

theguyulove 0

Friday 13 August 2010 13:06

THE SAME THING HAPPEND TO ME !!

Lisa89 3

Friday 13 August 2010 14:00

Eww.. tell them to shut the **** up! Don't feel like you have to endure it!

blackaspoop 0

Friday 13 August 2010 14:13

Ahh! That's sick!! Why didn't you tell them? I agree that it sucks, but you deserve it for being a perv and not telling them!

Gateway13 0

Friday 13 August 2010 14:57

I'm wondering why you would say anything like "stop"

bauerd 0

Friday 13 August 2010 22:28

been there. done that. kids didn't wake up though.

thunder23 3

Friday 13 August 2010 23:23

holly sh*t ! the same think happened to me, and I was only 14. :(

XxdezuhrayxX 0

Saturday 14 August 2010 1:06

ugh x_x I'm feel sorry for you >_<

chazziibabes 0

Saturday 14 August 2010 1:20

Oh my god, that happened to me. My parents dont talk about sex or anything, i'm not even allowed to date and i'm 15. So i didnt mention anything to them, what i did though was start stiring and sleep talking to freak them out.

nakedmuffins 0

Saturday 14 August 2010 2:35

Ahh, been there, heard that. Very very sorry.

stormin972 0

Saturday 14 August 2010 8:24

Now you have a story to share with your new brother/sister, about how you witnessed their making.

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The Top

Today, I told my boyfriend of nearly a year that I finally told my mother about him, and that she wants us to fly out so he can meet her. He said “OK” with a blank expression. I went to work, and when I got home, he and all his stuff were gone. He left a note on the fridge, saying, “Sorry, I can’t do this anymore. All the best.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 589

You deserved it 131

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Feeling goofy, I thought it’d be funny to try to reenact that horrible sex scene from the movie Showgirls. I threw my body back, but completely lost my balance and smashed my head on the headboard. I ended up with a bad concussion and a huge hospital bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 839

You deserved it 2 156

The Top

Today, my husband woke up with the first boner he’s had in almost 6 years. He yelled for me to join him so we could have sex again like the old days, but by the time I was finished on the toilet and raced to get to him with my pants still round my ankles, he'd gone soft. We’re only in our 30s. FML

I agree, your life sucks 672

You deserved it 171

Today, I found out my boyfriend is cheating on me. His excuse was that I never had time for his needs anymore. He’s unemployed but I guess me working and studying to get my degree so we could move out of his parents’ house was too much. Now I have no place to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 598

You deserved it 105

Today, the guy I've been dating for 3 years got engaged to a woman I can't stand. I work as a waiter at a catering company, they hired the company and requested me as a server for their engagement party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 165

You deserved it 6 376

Today, a new employee started at our office. She's about 18, barely does any work, chews gum loudly, has no manners, and happens to sit right next to me. She also threatens to report me for harassment whenever I politely ask her to not bash my chair with the back of her chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 848

You deserved it 2 272

Today, I got marinara sauce on my new white shirt. I went in my desk for my Tide-To-Go pen and started using it on the spot. Turns out orange highlighters look a lot like Tide-To-Go pens when you don't look closely enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 585

You deserved it 50 578

Today, I used a blanket outside for a picnic. Later, while throwing it in the washer, I noticed a lizard jump out to land inbetween the bowl and the side. Then I noticed a wasp had joined it. I'm scared to open my washer now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 057

You deserved it 600