Intimacy: Nooooooo!

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Nooooooo!

By Anonymous - 15/06/2009 11:23 - United States

Today, I finally got a chance to try out my vibrator. I've never orgasmed before with a guy, so I thought there was no hope until my friend gave me the vibrator for my birthday. It was going amazing, better than sex. I was literally two seconds away from climaxing when the battery suddenly died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 273

You deserved it 15 003

St. Patrick's Day: Shamrocks and Tribulations
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Same thing different taste

Like a virgin

By Anonymous - 07/08/2020 17:01

Today, at 26, I bought my first vibrator. I've never really masturbated before, because I've always been with a guy. I used it for the first time, and orgasmed in under 3 minutes. I guess this whole time the guys I've been with hadn’t in fact made me cum as much as I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 777

You deserved it 500

Mortified

By Anonymous - 18/11/2020 01:08 - United States - Joplin

Today, I bought my first ever vibrator after months of wanting one. Apparently, I bought a cheap product, because it broke and started going off by itself later. It shook my whole dresser while my best friend and I were in the room. I couldn't get it to shut off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 162

You deserved it 276

By Anonymous - 19/05/2015 14:01 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I bought my first vibrator. I was really excited, until my crippling OCD kicked in, forcing me to turn it on and off seven times in rapid succession, causing it to give off a cracking sound and stop working. Now I'm sad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 242

You deserved it 12 866

Technology hates humans

By Anonymous - 17/01/2021 11:01

Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much into it, loving the alone time and myself, and was on the edge of climax when my vibrator died. This brought me to tears, because all I wanted to do was be alone and masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 373

You deserved it 295

Dude, were you just in a McDonald's?

By Anonymous - 25/12/2022 15:00

Today, it started off as a good day, until my guy friend called me in the middle of me turning my vibrator on. He was crying so I couldn’t finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 664

You deserved it 837

Busted

By Anonymous - 05/12/2019 20:00

Today, I received my package. I ordered a vibrator, I was so excited to use it, but when I was finally ready to use it, I found out that it broke during the delivery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 093

You deserved it 270

By Confused - 22/08/2012 16:33 - Spain - Madrid

Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 785

You deserved it 4 427

By Highnapple - 04/03/2015 07:55 - Canada - Sarnia

Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 154

You deserved it 4 531

Medieval ******

By Brittney - 16/01/2023 00:00

Today, I started an electrical fire trying to charge my vibrators. FML

I agree, your life sucks 968

You deserved it 377

By wet dreams - 12/02/2016 17:46 - United States - Cartersville

Today, I came to the realization that I dream more about my vibrator than I do about my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 992

You deserved it 4 572

FBIWarning 0

Monday 15 June 2009 20:03

jeeze how long were you at it for the battery to die?

Nev09 0

Monday 15 June 2009 20:02

next time: 1) set up webcam 2) post up movie 3) ???? 4) profit!

Comments

heatherlk4 0

Monday 15 June 2009 20:01

oh man that sucks.

etch_a_scetch 0

Sunday 27 September 2009 2:09

Not all Vibrators come with batteries, she might of taken ones out from the vemote or something else which have been used already quite a bit.

pedobearsstalker 0

Tuesday 2 March 2010 4:24

today I was vibrating in some girls ****** and it smelled so bad I died

metalhead256 0

Friday 5 March 2010 4:05

WTF #275 saying shit like that means you probly never Evan seen anybody nude don't lie to your self

look_its_me 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 0:21

WTF 276 grammar like that makes you look like a retard.

omg_thats_funny 0

Saturday 19 June 2010 11:04

#275 hilarious :)

starcraft2FTW 0

Thursday 11 November 2010 0:26

get lithium batteries they rock

iBiteRoses 22

Saturday 10 December 2011 23:00

I second that.

waffle3z 6

Sunday 11 August 2013 7:50

Not all vibrators come with batteries, but it seems that all women do.

strawberryy_fml 0

Monday 15 June 2009 20:02

no way.. just your luck eh?

urmomluvsme 0

Friday 19 June 2009 4:02

lol definitely not her luck, but seriously, either your friend must have used the vibrator a lot or you took a REALLY long time to ******.

nike1 0

Monday 22 June 2009 13:34

That's true.

laneylovesu2 3

Sunday 4 September 2011 2:03

...and she was left disappointed again. Sad story:(

Horcruxer 0

Friday 23 December 2011 8:16

Shii if she was in bed with me she wouldn't have even needed a vibrator

MrMassive 0

Tuesday 24 July 2012 18:52

No ******* shit Sherlock.

Nev09 0

Monday 15 June 2009 20:02

next time: 1) set up webcam 2) post up movie 3) ???? 4) profit!

lawlfyl 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 19:15

lmao! awesome reference.

HELLO_KITTY904 0

Tuesday 23 June 2009 3:00

R0FL i WANNA MAKE A MOVIE....OH YEA.....NICE

imago_fml 0

Thursday 29 October 2009 13:25

It might have been an awesome reference if he didn't do it wrong. He gave all the steps. Lame.

iluvsidney 0

Wednesday 3 February 2010 6:18

do it

griffmo24 0

Sunday 5 September 2010 11:07

what's left (advice dog rules)

navalacademy2015 4

Saturday 25 August 2012 5:39

#269, Do you even know what you are talking about?

diki_fml 2

Monday 15 June 2009 20:03

LOL

Associate 0

Monday 15 June 2009 20:03

Get more batteries.

karmaSUCKS321453 0

Thursday 8 July 2010 0:59

or she could just get energizer batteries. if she could live with the "bunny that never stops."

awuh_man 0

Monday 15 June 2009 20:03

that's hot

FBIWarning 0

Monday 15 June 2009 20:03

jeeze how long were you at it for the battery to die?

Justice264 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 6:22

Same thing i was thinking

angeluv_2014 22

Thursday 19 July 2012 21:08

That's what I'm sayin'!!

ItIsMeSRC 7

Saturday 22 November 2014 22:01

If it takes her that long to ******, no wonder it's never happened with a guy!

wowfmlife 0

Monday 15 June 2009 20:04

Your life's ruined because you didn't have an ******? Doesn't take much these days...

NikkiFlysKites 8

Saturday 14 May 2011 19:44

I think the whole idea of this FML was meant to be ironic. She'd never had an ****** with a man, and right before she almost reached her point with the vibrator, it died.