Miscellaneous: Oh, hello there

FML for mobile
Free

Oh, hello there

By Jon - 18/01/2010 20:26 - United States

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 741

You deserved it 8 879

World Environment Day : Green and Vaudevilles
Stories where love for the planet meets situations that are as green as they are funny! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Oops - 11/01/2018 20:00 - United States - Anchorage

Today, while celebrating my birthday, my friends hired a few escorts to make the party more interesting. This was a really bad way to learn that my sister is a prostitute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 796

You deserved it 941

By Anonymous - 10/01/2014 02:45 - Sri Lanka

Today, my parents used my going away party as a cover up for my sister's surprise party. I didn't know until they brought out the cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 376

You deserved it 3 365

By assante2010 - 24/07/2011 00:09 - United States

Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 365

You deserved it 6 893

Surprise!

By dieold - 28/01/2009 12:15 - United States

Today, I went to a birthday party at my girlfriend's house. When her little brother was about to blow out the candles, I slipped my hand into her sister's back pocket and squeezed her ass, thinking it was my girlfriend. She freaked out, and now her family thinks I'm a pervert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 878

You deserved it 34 553

By reginaphalange - 27/05/2010 14:06 - Australia

Today, I found out that my best friend was having a birthday party and I wasn't invited. I had just finished planning a surprise party for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 844

You deserved it 3 333

Work name

By Van - 09/11/2019 05:00

Today, I found out the girl my husband's been calling "Sister" isn't actually his sister, but instead a hooker whose work name is "Sister". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 940

You deserved it 473

By aishahahaha_ - 19/06/2016 00:34 - Zambia - Lusaka

Today, I walked in on my sister and a few of my roommates planning a surprise party for a fellow roommate whose birthday is a week away. My birthday was yesterday. No one remembered. Not even my own sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 817

You deserved it 769

What a thoughtful gift

By Natsert99 - 08/12/2016 14:02 - United States - Deerfield

Today, I brought my best friend to the strip club as a birthday gift, as he had mentioned that he'd never been to one before. It might have been ruined by the discovery that his daughter had a new job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 145

You deserved it 1 258

Classic blunder

By Anonymous - 15/05/2012 14:13 - United States

Today, I found out my best friend was having a birthday party and I wasn't invited, so I asked her why. She replied, "What birthday party?" It was a surprise birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 389

You deserved it 31 241

By Anonymous - 11/12/2013 08:25 - United States

Today, is my little sister's 16th birthday. I spent my last $20 on a gift for her, cleaned the house for her party, made an ice cream cake, and got her a rose. What did I get? "I hope you kept the receipt for this. Oh, and stay in your room during my party." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 531

You deserved it 3 848

redshortsx 0

Tuesday 19 January 2010 1:06

oh wow your sister was the stripper at your birthday. that's ******* gross

Pankreas 0

Tuesday 19 January 2010 1:07

Uhm, of course this makes sense. He hired a stripper to jump out of a cake, and the stripper in the cake was his sister. Ouch.

Comments

starrgirrl 0

Tuesday 19 January 2010 3:36

oh wow fun birthday(not)

dyliumo 0

Tuesday 19 January 2010 3:48

...lol

girlslikeboyz 0

Tuesday 19 January 2010 3:55

I WOULD OF DIED ! OMG ! THAT IS HORRIBLE YET FUNNY ! ROFL (*Rolls on ground laughing).

Dashuhn 1

Tuesday 19 January 2010 4:00

Stay classy, Oregon

samjwells 0

Tuesday 19 January 2010 4:03

yeah, that really does suck.

fatty_le 0

Tuesday 19 January 2010 4:06

set me up with ur sister

daniel1_1 13

Tuesday 19 January 2010 4:07

* clap clap* very impressive guys!

rishaa143 0

Tuesday 19 January 2010 4:11

wow tht musta been pretty awkwarddd

xmusicpeacelovex 0

Tuesday 19 January 2010 4:15

wow that's funny. and I don't see how people don't get it...people are clearly stupid

jamie_sd 0

Tuesday 19 January 2010 4:16

I can't believe how dumb people are to believe this one.

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Argument Creepy Love Technology Friends Weddings Miscellaneous Embarrassing Mysterious Cars Transportation Gross Pranks Relatable Health Mental health Drugs Liar Dating Coworkers Awkward Work Food DIY Plumbing Animals Cats Management Annoying Diets

The Top

Today, I've spent nearly three weeks indulging my boyfriend's weird fetish, where he wears a hockey mask and I call him Jason. He just confessed it isn't really a fetish for him and that was just fucking with me. He's already told all his friends. I'm humiliated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 304

You deserved it 4 778

Today, I was about to get in the shower, when I felt an odd itch in my navel. I saw what I thought was bellybutton lint, so I pulled on it, and quickly realized what I had between my fingers was a still-squirming, headless tick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 947

You deserved it 2 922

The Top

Today, I got in an argument with my wife. I told her that I feel like she immediately disagrees with anything I say. She immediately disagreed and said she never does that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 926

You deserved it 717

Today, while making small talk with a veteran, I made the mistake of using the phrase "Cost an arm and a leg". He was a double amputee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 200

You deserved it 7 871

Today, I went to Walmart with all my birthday money, which I had in a wallet with my permit and everything else. I was sat on a bench looking for items for my iPod Touch However… I left my wallet behind. Turns out an old couple stole it. I got my shit jacked by grandparents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 415

You deserved it 2 509

Today, I got proof that martial arts don’t really work, I’ve supposedly worked my way up to my black belt, and I challenged my brother to a match. He floored me with one punch before I could do anything, and he only weight lifts to keep in shape, he’s never done martial arts in his life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 1 373

Today, an actual doctor told me I’ve been “passed around like a bong at a party”, referring to how many doctors have treated my MS condition. Worse yet, I responded with, “Don’t worry, I’m used to it”, without realising how that would sound. FML

I agree, your life sucks 763

You deserved it 128

Today, on to the bus home from school, I sat next to a guy that I ride with every day, but don't know well. He looked at me and said, "Hey, I know this girl named Bridget who looks just like you, but a lot more pale. She's really weird." I'm Bridget. I just got a tan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 919

You deserved it 212