Intimacy: Oh no oh no

Oh no oh no

By jealouspussy - 20/02/2013 06:55 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was giving my guy a blowjob. When he blurted out, "Oh Jesus" I assumed I was doing a good job. I looked up to see the expression on his face and noticed a look of terror. He was staring at my growling cat, two seconds away from clawing his face off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 528

You deserved it 5 995

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 25/06/2015 03:55 - United States - San Francisco

Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 510

You deserved it 5 020

By suffersecks - 20/01/2012 23:54 - United States

Today, while in the middle of giving my husband a blow job, I looked up to see him staring into space and vigorously picking his nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 654

You deserved it 6 200

By Anonymous - 25/11/2017 06:00

Today, I was getting one of the best blow jobs I have ever received. My girlfriend was getting into it when I heard an "uh oh". Her tongue ring got twisted around the hair close to my balls. She started to pull, I started to scream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 018

You deserved it 1 792

Ouch

By Anonymous - 14/12/2011 23:12 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 652

You deserved it 29 371

By anonymaiacciu - 22/12/2012 01:16 - France

Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 808

You deserved it 8 966

By Junkrat - 08/12/2016 13:32

Today, I was giving my boyfriend oral sex when he pulled away without warning. As I looked up at him to see what was wrong, he screamed "JUSTICE RAINS FROM ABOVE!" and shot his load in my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 521

You deserved it 3 295

By man - 30/10/2009 16:34 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 129

You deserved it 23 514

By Anonymous - 27/12/2013 20:18 - Jamaica - Kingston

Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging to his friend about finally giving me an orgasm yesterday, but that he got scared because my orgasm face made me look like "a camel having a stroke." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 199

You deserved it 5 870

Timing

By Anonymous - 18/03/2017 07:00 - United States - Westerville

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 619

You deserved it 1 193

By Noname - 16/02/2009 00:33 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job, he was twitching and moving around and saying "oh yeah" then he said "take that bitch". I looked up to see he was only excited about how he is domination in Call of Duty 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 049

You deserved it 10 600

felidsentry 17

Wednesday 20 February 2013 12:12

He'll never look at a pussy the same way again.

hunny797 5

Wednesday 20 February 2013 12:11

Was that a threesome??

Comments

skyeyez9 24

Wednesday 20 February 2013 16:48

Cats still seem like wild animals to me. Especially when you see them stalk and hunt down a bird. And if your average housecat was 100 pounds vs 12, they would hunt their owner down, torture their "prey" till bored, then eat them.

artinwords 14

Wednesday 20 February 2013 19:25

Its called playing with it and not all cats are like this. I have one who hunts dragon flys and one who hunts mice and lizards both of them let them go alive once theyve caught them cause its sport not to kill. Also a 12 lb. house cat is very fat average is 5 to 7. You cat haters are ridiculous. And before im called a cat person my rotties would beg to differ.

CharresBarkrey 15

Wednesday 20 February 2013 21:41

77 - You're aware that if you die, your cat WILL eat you eventually, right? For that simple fact, I am a dog person.

skyeyez9 24

Wednesday 20 February 2013 21:50

My best friend has two cats, one is a maine coon which is a very large 15 lb cat (not fat) and an ocicat. Both love to bring decapitated birds and leave them on her doorstep as presents. And I never said I hated cats! I love animals, but can't have a cat because I am allergic to them. I have 2 dogs instead.

artinwords 14

Wednesday 20 February 2013 17:37

Its on you for not closing he door. I mean really

EpicBlondie89 19

Wednesday 20 February 2013 17:51

I can see how this is a fyl, but I couldn't help laughing at the image in my head.

paprika_pilipili_fml 14

Wednesday 20 February 2013 18:05

What was your cat doing in your room ???

noelasis94 18

Wednesday 20 February 2013 18:28

I'm always cautious around cats you don't know how they'll react to you but wow that's another level right there at least the cat didn't wanna take his dick off