By anonymaiacciu - 22/12/2012 01:16 - France

Spicy
Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML
I agree, your life sucks 47 797
You deserved it 8 964
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

hockeychicl003 6

maybe your mustache felt like whiskers

513 27
pandachic27 9

Wait so does that mean his cat gives him oral?

486 18

Comments

hockeychicl003 6

maybe your mustache felt like whiskers

513 27
Migole 36

This actually made me laugh out loud. Good one :D

49 8
StalkerChick 13

An extremely dry mouth and rough tongue.

11 21
Osito2011 9

It was a mixture of morning breath, dry mouth and plaque tongue.

11 7
tsent8 15

Nah he just wanted pussy.

55 1
pandachic27 9

Wait so does that mean his cat gives him oral?

486 18
jarockstar27 10

Thats exactly what i was thinking....that cat is talented....in a creepy sort of way....

15 42
MrSassypants 32

You should see how awkward it is when OP wakes up and says "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my girlfriend." He then asks the cat to continue.

221 5
lambda_fml 40

He is into pussy...just not the type you might think. ;-)

12 4
redhedsaysrawr 18

"DAMMIT FLUFFY, NOT AGAIN!"

32 1
hipsterhunter 9

Story time! A friend of mine used to babysit a two-three year old whose dog had some weird obsession with male genitalia. The dog once ripped the baby's diaper off and before he could run, proceeded to lick his penis, which the kid quickly realised felt good. He started pulling off his diaper all the time and calling the dog over to get it to give him oral. Poor girl had no idea how to tell the parents that their dog was sucking off their son.

55 4
SixthSinEnvy 39

@93 I think I laughed harder at your story than the actual fml.

1 0
wagne057 6

Sounds like somebody has a ********** fetish.

15 73
sens3sfailing 24

didbyou miss the part where he shouted OH MY GOD? I didnt see him telling his kitty to keep licking...

45 2
robo_thunder 13

it could have been an OH MY GOD of joy when he thought it was his cat. but lets hope not.

36 4
SandiRainbowFish 20

#5: I know most people have a problem with **********, but most zoophiles truly love their animals. ********** is generally forcing the animal to have sex, or forcing yourself upon it, but zoophilia is the gentler version where the animals can do what they want and they aren't -forced- into anything. I know I'm going to get a ton of shit for this comment simply because I'm different, but I'm tired of hiding it. I just want people to stop being so ignorant (not saying #5 was) about sexual attraction to animals. It's not like we can help it. And it's certainly not ALL animals, either... Feel free to PM me if you have any questions.

5 1
nublets 12

At least you didn't get a knee to the face, Also it might be time to shave your face.

148 13
AznSamoan52 10

So his cat regularly does this to him when he sleeps? That's concerning.

18 41
howdeedoo 22

No, it just means that he might have been having a very strange dream

21 1
Enslaved 36

Yep! That's the reason the boyfriend shoves tinsel down his boxers?

30 2
khan7864u 4

Hes an asshole for doing tht, i wouldnt mind waking up to tht kind of fun,

11 73
DontClickOnMe 28

I don't think that makes him an asshole. He just wasn't expecting it so he was caught off guard.

49 0
SillyGirl4602 23

You really had to spell "that" like tht? I don't think he is an asshole. It was the first time that they spent the night together. He probably thought it was the cat because he isn't used to waking up to her.

7 0
ICastillo 24

Dang were clawing at him and biting with sharp little pointy teeth?

35 10