Health and Love: Out of my mind

Out of my mind

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - London

Today, I underwent surgery and feeling rather groggy upon being awoken, I very loudly declared, "I've always had a thing for doctors. Kiss me?" then promptly giggled, tried to launch myself in a random doctor's arms and fell flat on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 781

You deserved it 5 132

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 06/02/2016 01:34 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I was clipping my abnormally thick toenails. I had to apply so much pressure on the clippers that a nail flew off, hit me in the eyeball and scratched my cornea. The doctor nearly fell off his chair laughing during my eye exam after I told him what happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 439

You deserved it 2 181

I'm OK!

By MAC. - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Toronto

Today, I slammed the car door on my head while I was getting in the car. If that wasn't bad enough, my boyfriend is convinced I now have a concussion and insists on waking me up every hour to make sure I'm still alive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 447

You deserved it 6 041

Caturday surprise!

By keeperstride - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with an infection, swollen nuts, and a hole in my butt for which I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 817

You deserved it 72 177

Boxing

By Holly - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I had to wait in a hospital room because I cut myself with a knife while trying to open a box of soda. After three stitches, I went home only to notice the box has an easy-open tab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 519

You deserved it 32 194

The struggle

By lizi - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Saint Andrews

Today, I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to take my bra off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 047

You deserved it 838

Freak out

By zAstonish - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and felt deep breathing on my neck. I screamed, fell off the bed and busted my nose. It was just my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 262

You deserved it 4 197

By Myriam - 18/06/2012 16:05 - Maldives - Male

Today, my husband recorded me getting out of bed and sleepwalking all the way into the backyard and straight into our pool. He was too busy giggling like a schoolgirl to help me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 859

You deserved it 3 408

Piss off, basically

By lonelyandcold - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Solihull

Today, after coming home from surgery, I discovered that the heating in my entire building had failed. I called my mom asking if I could come and stay with her for a few days. She told me to "think warm thoughts." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 191

You deserved it 1 929

By sickened - 25/08/2009 14:17 - Philippines

Today, my friends and I went out drinking, and luckily enough, the guy I have had a crush on for four years now was there. I tried to get drunk so that I can make a move and blame it on the alcohol. I went in to whisper my confession in his ear... only to puke on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 758

You deserved it 68 063

By Anonymous - 26/08/2009 18:55 - United States

Today, I accidentally ran my thumb down the cheese grater while preparing lunch beside my wife. I instantly jerked my hand away from the grater just in time run my forearm across the knife she was using. I now have 20 stitches and 5 staples in my arm, no lunch, and a puking wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 863

You deserved it 4 724

Omfgitsmia 15

Saturday 13 June 2015 7:22

Well to be fair, you were pretty doped up. I'm sure they've seen worst.

dewberry2001 25

Saturday 13 June 2015 7:23

I told my nurse she was the "nicest goddamned nurse in all of history."

Comments

RLG4 20

Saturday 13 June 2015 22:16

After my last surgery I woke up and was trying to give my mom's kittens away. A different surgery I woke up and was convinced that they had removed my eye and I was completely freaking out. It's always a fun experience coming out of the anaesthetic, I never know what I'll do.

Basically_ 6

Sunday 14 June 2015 0:33

When I was 16, my mom worked at a hospital so I knew all the surgeons there. I had my appendix removed and when I woke up, I demanded to see a surgeon I had had a crush on for a while. Long story short, he showed up and I asked for his number and called him 'the man of my dreams.'

martin8337 35

Sunday 14 June 2015 1:26

Did you get any takers?

shadowshalf 8

Sunday 14 June 2015 5:40

At least you didn't jump out a window claiming you weren't batman, but superman.

disnerd4 14

Sunday 14 June 2015 8:09

After a surgery when I was 9, I told the nurses that it was the bast day of my life and I loved them all, and when I asked for a hug they actually gave me one. ¯_(ツ)_/¯

DumbAndYoung 30

Sunday 14 June 2015 11:16

I just woke up after surgery crying for no apparent reason.

deviousangel89 13

Monday 15 June 2015 0:44

You must be the life of the party when you're out of it! Lol... but I'm sure they'd seen worse.

MrBlaTi 7

Monday 15 June 2015 1:36

When I underwent surgery the last time, I woke up, instantly tore off the IV-Needles myself and insited on going. People are strange when waking up from surgery and do stupid stuff. The Docs and nurses know that as well and won't think twice about what you've done ;)

Lucrece_fml 10

Wednesday 11 November 2015 8:26

I can't even vote either way on this because I think it's just adorable! I've only been under anaesthetic once, and all I did was take off my oxygen mask and refuse to put it back on. Stories like yours and the poster who got hugs when they were 9 make my day!