Miscellaneous: Party hard

Party hard

By vcarder - 04/10/2013 20:25 - United States - Newton

Today, I met a really nice girl at a club. One thing led to another, and she told me to meet her out front in 5 minutes. I was so drunk that I stumbled into the restroom instead, then curled up on the floor crying in despair when I realized my mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 979

You deserved it 43 193

Carnival of Disasters
Dive into carnival, where hilarious costumes meet unexpected mishaps. Laughter is guaranteed, mask or no mask! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Basic night out

By Anonymous - 05/02/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom - Liverpool

Today, I went out and got very drunk. I talked to a girl and some other people. As the girl left, someone told me to follow her as she didn't seem to know where she was going. As a drunk, socially inept idiot, I did so for about 20 seconds, only for someone to point me out to her and quickly guide her away. Then I lost like £700. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 601

It wasn't me

By curiousorange - 05/07/2009 15:58 - United Kingdom

Today, I met a great girl at a party. We talked alone, and she made me promise I'd dance with her later. When I saw her later, she was unconscious, and in an ambulance. She'd collapsed, and the entire party assumed I'd spiked her drink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 569

You deserved it 3 047

By Jebus - 24/01/2009 16:07 - Canada

Today, I brought a girl home from the bar. After sleeping together, she drunkenly stumbles to the bathroom to wash up. On her way back, she accidentally walks into my parents' room, turns on the lights and asks where her clothes are before figuring it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 117

You deserved it 34 795

By Anonymous - 02/01/2015 22:14 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I got shitfaced at a club. A cute girl I'd met earlier in the evening offered to drive me home in my car and spend the night with me. She crashed my car and did a runner before the cops showed up. They wouldn't believe my story. I now have a wrecked car and a DUI. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 118

You deserved it 10 270

By Anonymous - 01/09/2009 15:09 - United States

Today, I met a girl at a bar. After buying her a few drinks, we decided to head back to her place. Not wanting to leave either of our cars, I followed her home. While driving, she sent me text because she missed her exit. I tried to text her back something witty and instead rear ended her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 577

You deserved it 69 633

Do I know you?

By goblue - 21/12/2009 05:20 - United States

Today, I was sleeping in my room when I awoke to an unfamiliar female voice in my apartment, followed by a thud. I walked out to find a drunk girl I've never met collapsed in my doorway. After puking all over the place, she had me call her father, who picked her up 10 minutes later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 473

You deserved it 3 174

By allennn - 14/03/2010 14:56 - France

Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 928

You deserved it 38 554

By MC - 15/08/2011 02:51 - Canada

Today, I was so drunk that I gave my mom's number instead of mine to the really cute guy I met at the bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 522

You deserved it 39 617

By Anonymous - 01/12/2012 00:31 - United States - Rocklin

Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 190

You deserved it 21 652

By 0ptimu5 - 11/09/2009 04:39 - Australia

Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 695

You deserved it 43 477

thatgirl1299 11

Saturday 5 October 2013 2:33

Smooth move

lemonzone25 17

Saturday 5 October 2013 2:36

You couldn't have just turned around and went outside instead?

Comments

buddy_J 16

Saturday 5 October 2013 4:57

Yet a other reason drinking is a horrible thing that only causes ruin and wastes money

DotDootyDot 17

Saturday 5 October 2013 10:26

Not true, alcohol in itself has nothing to do with "ruin" and "waste of money". An occasional wine and beer (sometimes something a little harder) is nice, the problem is when these chumps do not regulate their alcohol intake and go beyond drunk.

MirandaShaee 6

Saturday 5 October 2013 5:16

You had five minutes.. plenty of time

Chazzzor 10

Saturday 5 October 2013 7:04

So stay the hell away from her!

MixMastaKDizzle 12

Saturday 5 October 2013 7:38

lol did it not occur to you that you could just go outside instead?

DotDootyDot 17

Saturday 5 October 2013 10:27

OP, you definitely deserved it. Next time don't pump yourself too much with alcohol! And if you were so drunk as to curl up on a dirty bathroom and cry, I'm very doubtful that you would've been able to pop a hard-on.

deloria_fml 22

Saturday 5 October 2013 10:34

Sorry, but if you were that drunk, you're actually not capable of giving consent and shouldn't be having sex anyway.

mbuck87 19

Saturday 5 October 2013 10:51

If you were that drunk I'd say you would have had trouble getting it up anyway. So maybe you just saved yourself the embarrassment of going through THAT when you got her home Although I'm not sure if that's worse than the embarrassment of crying on the floor of a men's room...