Miscellaneous: Patterned

Patterned

By jhughes1997 - 17/06/2013 01:39 - United States - Decatur

Today, I went fishing with my dad. I figured, since we were out on the dock, I may as well get rid of my farmer's tan. I fell asleep in the sun and woke up to a fishing net draped over me. I now have a fishnet pattern down the front of my body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 903

You deserved it 12 501

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Same thing different taste

Very fishy

By Bryce - 10/05/2020 02:00

Today, my dad and I went fishing. We both got a bite, but when we went to reel it in, both our hooks were in the catfish's mouth. He pushed me in the mud and took my hook out its mouth so he could say he caught it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 661

You deserved it 231

By Ruby Lore - 20/07/2017 00:31

Today, I asked my dad if he'd like to go fishing together, but he said he was busy with errands. Later, in a casual conversation with my friend, she opened up her phone to show me pictures of her fishing with my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 531

You deserved it 349

Bass Pro Shop

By superfreak6 - 20/05/2016 13:25 - United States - New Orleans

Today, after fishing for 5 hours, I finally caught a respectable-sized fish. I ran to my truck to grab the scale, and then I saw my friend laughing hysterically while holding an empty net. Apparently, the only catch of our day jumped out of the net during the 15 seconds I was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 934

You deserved it 1 969

By Anonymous - 26/06/2012 22:04 - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, I was at the beach with my parents, and I went for a swim in the sea. I got out and my parents started laughing their asses off. It wasn't until my dad pulled a condom out of my hair that I realized what they were laughing at. My dad even took a picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 396

You deserved it 2 300

Bass Pro Shops reject

By Anonymous - 10/08/2019 06:00 - United States - New Rochelle

Today, I went fishing. Not only did I lose the fish, I lost the entire rod. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 370

You deserved it 389

Life's a beach

By Derek - 28/05/2021 20:01 - United States

Today, I went tanning on the beach. I found a nice spot close to shore and laid there with my towel and sunglasses. A few hours later, I awoke to waves splashing at me. My towel was soaked and my sunglasses must have washed off the shore. Damn high tide. FML

I agree, your life sucks 271

You deserved it 1 187

By fisherman - 23/01/2010 10:12 - United States

Today, I went fishing with friends looking to catch big redfish. During the trip, one of the men caught a 50 pound monster which I put away. At the end of the trip they wanted to take a picture with it. I went to wash off the fish in the water. Apparently the fish wasn't dead and swam away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 937

You deserved it 35 244

Nice catch

By inthesticks - 01/05/2022 05:09

Took, I took my son fishing. We ended the night at the ER. FML

I agree, your life sucks 228

You deserved it 56

By ~JESSICA~ - 11/09/2010 06:19 - United States

Today, I woke up late to an urgent voicemail from my dad telling me he left me a present in my car. Excited, I went to investigate. I then saw that his "surprise" was fresh fish he had caught. I hate fish, and now my car stinks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 898

You deserved it 3 607

By StungAlot - 12/06/2019 06:18

Today, I got stung by jellyfish. As I writhed in pain on the beach, my dad comes up and asks me to be quiet, that I'm embarrassing him. He also mentioned that jellyfish were out today and that I should be careful. Thanks, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 841

You deserved it 223

Doxy 22

Monday 17 June 2013 12:19

You're a trend setter by nature I see. A fisherman's tan is going to be the next big thing. I just can feel it.

poetrywriter12 6

Monday 17 June 2013 12:29

Maybe your troll father was trying teach you a lesson for sleeping when you were meant to spend time with him.

Comments

FRB 8

Tuesday 18 June 2013 2:18

I wish we could see it right now

Animekid126 13

Tuesday 18 June 2013 2:32

The puns on these sites are ridiculously funny. Guess you should wear a shirt for a while op

justmeCee 16

Tuesday 18 June 2013 2:55

Hahaha...Sorry Op but that's funny:) You can still even out your tan.

RealtreeGirl23 9

Tuesday 18 June 2013 3:15

OP, why in the hell do you want to get rid of a farmer's tan? Us girls think they are sexy as ****.

jannatanelle 5

Tuesday 18 June 2013 4:10

Mr Satan it is obvious to any one with half a brain that you have never worked lived around or been exposed to any one especially any child with MR you would reconsider your position very quickly if it were ur child missing a chromosome. and yes saying shit for brains is MUCH nicer to all the people who have someone in their lives with MR it's not insulting but yet you still managed to insult the person whom your trying to offend. see how that works now ? instead of belittling an entire community of people to make fun or insult one you could just use ur half a brain to come up with a better insult and insult the intended target only

RainbowInput 8

Tuesday 18 June 2013 4:47

Please don't become a fad. Please don't become a fad. Please don't become a fad. #FISHNETTAN

Brilliant66star 17

Tuesday 18 June 2013 4:50

YDI. Yes, you do; and, thank you so much for my longest, loudest and, by far, my most uncontrollable laugh today..! You should be a real 'catch' this summer. That's right, I just couldn't help myself. Sorry!