Farts, Dad jokes and Love: Prankster

Prankster

By longlostkid556 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 698

You deserved it 5 889

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Same thing different taste

By john - 28/01/2009 23:02 - United States

Today, the girl who I have had a crush on for 2 years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 845

You deserved it 5 155

By Anonymous - 17/12/2012 00:58 - United States

Today, I saw my crush at the grocery store. He saw me and started walking towards me. I got so excited that I farted when he came near. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 428

You deserved it 10 272

By anonymous - 15/01/2012 05:58 - United States

Today, my crush grabbed my butt while I was walking up the stairs. In surprise I farted. He won't even look me in the eyes now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 572

You deserved it 7 675

By stink - 01/07/2015 02:40 - Australia - Sydney

Today, after working alone in a room all day, I let a fart sneak out. Just then, my drop dead gorgeous boss and two new girls walked in. I could literally see them hit the stench and cringe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 456

You deserved it 4 997

By Anonymous - 26/10/2012 07:23 - Australia - Queanbeyan

Today, I went out to a restaurant with a girl I have been dating. The only conversation was about how proud she was of her fart during work earlier, and how she managed to clear out a section of the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 919

You deserved it 3 238

Sitcom moment

By Anonymous - 24/01/2024 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my crush invited me to her house and I ended up meeting her dad. Then she suddenly had to dash off because her boyfriend, whom I had no idea existed, unexpectedly had free time so they were going on a last minute date, which left me awkwardly sat there in the kitchen with her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 592

You deserved it 112

Thanks, I hate it

By Anonymous - 07/01/2011 02:45 - United States

Today, feeling melancholic, I took a blanket out to the backyard and lay down to look at the clouds. My dad came out to ask me what I was doing. I told him, he smirked, squatted over my face, and farted. He then ran back inside and told my mom. She laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 218

You deserved it 6 253

By Fatty - 27/12/2009 07:15 - United States

Today, the guy I've had a crush on came over to my house. My Dad came in to see how we we're doing, looks at me and says "Man... You've REALLY been puttin' on the pounds!", pokes me in the stomach a few times, and leaves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 504

You deserved it 4 178

Mambo number 6

By n/a - 25/11/2009 07:36 - United States

Today, I was working at a children's play centre, and my stomach was twisting and turning. Thinking no one was around, I let out a small fart, only to turn and see a little girl running to her mom, yelling, "Mommy! Mommy! That lady just farted and it sounded like daddy!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 127

You deserved it 27 549

By Anon - 04/08/2011 08:30 - United States

Today, the guy I've had the biggest crush on came to my house to pick me up for our first date. As we were leaving, my father screams out "Do you still have diarrhea?" I don't have diarrhea. My dad thinks he's so funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 051

You deserved it 4 129

CasualZombie 6

Sunday 5 June 2011 12:06

is your dad Peter Griffin? and are you by any chance named Meg?

mwahaha1 0

Sunday 5 June 2011 12:06

your dad is my new hero

Comments

JordanRetro13 0

Sunday 5 June 2011 21:33

that sounds a whole lot like peter griffin

locksmurf 0

Sunday 5 June 2011 21:35

your dad sounds like a hell of a good man.

babycakess10 0

Sunday 5 June 2011 21:51

legit just laughed hysterically!! haahahah thats hilarious but kinda embarrassing.

ChibiGirl5 0

Sunday 5 June 2011 22:01

haha I was going to say that

meganic 2

Sunday 5 June 2011 22:04

hahaha. that's so funny(:

SelenaGomezOffic 0

Sunday 5 June 2011 22:09

hahahahahahahahahah that's hillarious

aaronruark 2

Sunday 5 June 2011 22:19

then the.ice was broken and you just ripped each others close off wait didnt that happen

cumverg 0

Sunday 5 June 2011 22:52

Your dad wins, and deserves my profile picture

jrtepechis 6

Sunday 5 June 2011 22:54

bEST DAD EVER !!

Liddo_Me_12 0

Sunday 5 June 2011 23:04

dude that's freaking HILARIOUS!!! :D

supernerd352 7

Monday 6 June 2011 6:42

steriotype!! like sayin all girls can't drive

atomicbaboon 0

Monday 6 June 2011 10:01

that's not a stereotype, that's fact! but it's okay. they make up for it by smelling like flowers.

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The Top

Today, a girl I'd been talking to all night actually wanted to come home with me. Stopped to buy condoms. Got home, clothes came off, took out a condom. "Sorry, I'm allergic to latex". She left in a cab. I'm a 27-year old virgin for another night and now have a box of condoms to remind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 117

You deserved it 3 239

Today, after receiving a negative herpes test four months ago, my doctor called me and told me it was a false negative and I’ve been living with herpes for four months. I then had to tell everyone I’ve slept with about it, and worst of all my new boyfriend broke up with me. All in one day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 437

You deserved it 588

The Top

Today, I started my new job as a mail carrier. One of my assigned roads was Milbrooke Street, which I'd never heard of. After driving around for ages trying to find it, I called for directions. The street doesn't exist in my city; it's just the boss's way of seeing how stupid you are. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 205

You deserved it 8 400

Today, at the orthodontist, the nurse was checking my teeth. She asked me a question while her finger was in my mouth, and when I stupidly tried to reply, I bit her finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 142

You deserved it 449

Today, in the early hours of the morning, a worker started drilling the road right in front of my window. He stopped 5 minutes before my alarm clock rang. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 702

You deserved it 3 920

Today, I'm getting married. A few months ago, I allowed my mother in-law to take care of catering. She begged to be a part of the wedding, so I gave her the caterer's number and order info. It appears that I will not be eating at my own wedding because she decided to order food I'm allergic to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 808

You deserved it 6 802

Today, I was sleeping after having worked 76 hours over the last week on night shift, only to be woken up by a fire alarm in the hotel I'm staying in. I rushed to put on some clothes and head out, but couldn't hide my morning wood, which would not go away. People took pictures as we were waiting to be let back inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 219

You deserved it 139

Today, I was taking a leisurely stroll through the woods in the nice cool weather, when a mountain biker came out of nowhere and tore past, barely missing me. As I counted my luck, another biker followed the first and crashed right into me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 791

You deserved it 4 426