Health, Pregnancy, Poopoo peepee, Awkward, Cute and Kids: Pregnancy woes - FML

Pregnancy woes

By Spraylady - 29/02/2016 21:45 - United Kingdom

Today, I think my unborn child has developed a sense of humour. The little cherub is usually very calm, but must have realised that if he/she kicks me hard enough in this particular place near my bladder, I'll piss myself on the spot like a race horse. It's happened twice now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 324

You deserved it 1 784

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Same thing different taste

Nearly home

By clumsycat - 30/06/2017 15:54

Today, I thought my water had broken. I'd actually just peed myself when the baby moved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 310

You deserved it 387

By WOCOACH - 09/09/2009 19:33 - United States

Today, I woke up to my 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walked into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 900

You deserved it 5 044

By Anonymous - 01/12/2012 17:01 - United States - Portland

Today, my husband discovered poking me in my belly button makes me have to pee, sometimes it's uncontrollable and happens immediately. He thinks it's hilarious and decided it's his new favorite game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 364

You deserved it 3 110

By Nurse - 31/08/2018 15:00

Today, a pregnant woman asked me to give her a demonstration on how to push when having a baby. I agreed and pushed, but I may have pushed a little too hard because I shat myself. The pregnant woman laughed and said she was hoping that would happen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 885

You deserved it 753

By queen_lol - 10/05/2016 17:14 - United States

Today, I was at a party at my boyfriend's house. As I was walking past him, he pulled me onto his lap and started introducing me to a childhood friend. I sneezed and accidently peed on him. I'm 6 months pregnant and can't control my bladder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 514

You deserved it 2 184

Hilarious

By Anonymous - 01/02/2012 20:21 - United States

Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 281

You deserved it 4 015

By shitface - 25/01/2010 10:18 - Australia

Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 562

You deserved it 3 442

By mokki - 31/03/2015 12:56 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I am seven months pregnant with my third child. I woke up to my two-and-a-half year old trying to "pop the balloon" in my tummy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 268

You deserved it 3 534

By radiating - 09/03/2012 04:53

Today, my hay-fever started. I'm five months pregnant, and every time I cough, sneeze or blow my nose I either fart or wet myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 776

You deserved it 3 218

Get up!

By Anonymous - 26/05/2024 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I'm 8 months pregnant and I went to pee at 2 a.m., with the light off to avoid waking my husband. The wanker had left the seat up, so I fell right into the bowl and got stuck with my cheeks in the water because my belly wouldn’t let me get up. My useless sleeping husband couldn’t hear me yell for help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 607

You deserved it 287

Next

Top comments

Harri20n 9

Tuesday 1 March 2016 12:07

Ah kids.

jakers8424 18

Tuesday 1 March 2016 12:03

Hilarious

Comments

mommy21 16

Saturday 5 March 2016 21:08

Sadly, this is going to continue from now on. The luxury of being pregnant. Lol

crumpets 123 8

Monday 12 June 2017 19:58

hit back

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was at a guy's house that I’d been seeing for a while. After watching a movie, I confessed that after these past few times we’ve hung out, I’ve started to catch feelings. He looked at me and said, "I actually don’t think I want anything serious, but are you down to be friends with benefits?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 547

You deserved it 476

Today, at work, I heard a weird sound coming from the ceiling. As I looked up to see what it was, a huge splash of water hit me in the face. I called mall maintenance to let them know. They told me they already knew about the leak… from the sewage line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 943

You deserved it 2 295

The Top

Today, I found out my dad bought an iPhone. I've spent the better part of the last six months teaching him how to check his email and online newspapers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 610

You deserved it 3 626

Today, I was walking down the sidewalk and heard a little girl ask her dad why I had blue hair. He said, "Sometimes drugs will make people do stupid things." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 512

You deserved it 38 721

Today, I was in bed with my girlfriend and she asked to see my phone to check my Snapchat to see what was in there. After she was done with it, she start looking into her phone to see her memories and started crying over her ex-boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 164

You deserved it 150

Today, the only guy who I ever thought liked me for my personality said he had something important to tell me. Later I got an e-mail from him saying he is "worried about me because I lack the skills to get along with other people." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 777

You deserved it 3 244

Today, I went to a Halloween party dressed as a pirate. Someone complimented me on how convincing the fake teeth were that I had on for my costume. I wasn't wearing fake teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 201

You deserved it 6 568

Today, I actually had to teach my 9-year-old brother how to pour himself a glass of milk, after he burst out in tears when my sister told him to do it himself. His astonishing ignorance also extends to basic hygiene. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 053

You deserved it 4 910