Embarrassing, Cute and Kids: Public announcement

Public announcement

By Pissed - 05/10/2011 15:29 - Australia

Today, in an incredibly busy shopping center bathroom with my 5 year-old niece, I was squatting over the toilet seat to avoid germs. My niece then says at the top of her voice, "Auntie, why are you sitting like a kangaroo?" I'd say the whole room pissed their pants laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 738

You deserved it 8 422

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Same thing different taste

By Lydlsis - 30/10/2015 23:53 - United States

Today, while shopping, I suddenly got the terrible urge to use the bathroom. I already had several items and my 5-year-old niece in tow, so I hurried to checkout. I ended up pissing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 749

You deserved it 4 623

By Bailey - 22/08/2010 06:58 - United States

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 755

You deserved it 14 094

Paper-thin walls

By Lauren Davies - 17/09/2019 06:00

Today, I had to tell my 4 year-old, "I'm wiping my butt right now, I can't get you a drink. Please wait a minute." I distinctly heard my neighbor laughing through the bathroom window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 586

You deserved it 314

Duchamp would be proud

By Anonymous - 23/09/2019 12:00

Today, my five year-old niece thought that it would be acceptable to carve her artwork all over our toilet seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 399

You deserved it 172

By ... - 20/01/2019 02:00

Today, I yelled, "Fuck me, oh shit!" instinctively after accidentally spilling boiling hot coffee all over myself. My 3-year-old niece found this hilarious, and won't stop saying "Fuck my shit." Her parents are due to pick her up any moment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 220

You deserved it 763

Take a break

By Anonymous - 04/05/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 111

By MyBallsForSaleOnEbay - 21/08/2015 15:25 - Malta - Naxxar

Today, I screamed like a little girl and scrambled to climb atop the toilet seat when I saw a cockroach running around our bathroom. My 5-year-old nephew came in, slapped it to death and said not to be scared, because he'll always protect me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 146

You deserved it 7 257

Bathroom menace

By Shelly - 07/06/2009 02:25 - United States

Today, I used the restroom at a department store. While I was in my stall, I overheard a little girl say to her mother, "I see someone wearing pink!" I remembered that I was wearing pink just as she finished her thought, "…and she's pooping." She was peeking at me through the stall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 241

You deserved it 3 453

Close quarters

By aunty_social - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I took my 5-year-old nephew camping. I was about to take him to the outhouse for a bathroom break when he flung the door of the camper open and shouted at the top of his lungs to the entire campground, "We are going to poop now!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 628

You deserved it 457

By AuntPeePee - 20/05/2013 11:57 - United States

Today, I berated my five-year-old nephew for peeing on the floor. His mom bitched me out for expecting "a little boy to have perfect aim." That's funny, it looked pretty good when he dropped his pants, looked me in the eyes, and started to piss on my rug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 455

You deserved it 3 560

MarioDragon 14

Wednesday 5 October 2011 18:54

Just put toilet paper on the seat and take a shower when you get home

deviable 9

Wednesday 5 October 2011 18:56

It's not like I don't understand why people don't want to use public toilets, but wouldn't it be easier to bring some toilet seat covers? Squatters often cause the most mess.

Comments

Raptor46 4

Sunday 9 October 2011 4:32

Serves you right germaphobe, just sit down do your business and leave. No germs unless you're planning on rubbing your hands all over the seat and in your face.

Nhk_fml 4

Sunday 9 October 2011 14:20

@183 that cracked me up

allknowingbrony 5

Sunday 9 October 2011 21:29

Kids really do say the darnedest things...

lamc0885 0

Monday 10 October 2011 18:54

K now that is priceless

Aimetre 0

Wednesday 12 October 2011 16:01

why the hell was your niece in the toilet with you??

Attica 20

Saturday 2 June 2012 16:50

because in most places these days, you can't let a 5 year old out of your sight

ast3150 13

Sunday 23 October 2011 2:28

On your smartphone, there are about 400,000 times as much germs than on such a toilet so who cares?

mmw1088 4

Thursday 2 February 2012 1:40

YDI for squatting. I hope you didn't make a mess and leave it there like most people. If everybody knew how to use the toilet properly, public restrooms wouldn't be so damn disgusting.

Zackalack123 1

Thursday 12 April 2012 6:29

Clean freak much?

fatderplips 0

Tuesday 3 July 2012 5:36

Why would they piss their pants in a bathroom? How silly of them...

The_Runaway_Arti 3

Sunday 5 August 2012 13:48

From a janitor, squatters make the MOST mess. Not to mention, the cleaners used on a public toilet kill HIV, staph, salmonella, & pretty much anything else you can come into contact with. Commercial grade cleaners mean business.