Embarrassing, Cute and Kids: Public announcement

Public announcement

By Pissed - 05/10/2011 15:29 - Australia

Today, in an incredibly busy shopping center bathroom with my 5 year-old niece, I was squatting over the toilet seat to avoid germs. My niece then says at the top of her voice, "Auntie, why are you sitting like a kangaroo?" I'd say the whole room pissed their pants laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 739

You deserved it 8 424

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Same thing different taste

By Lydlsis - 30/10/2015 23:53 - United States

Today, while shopping, I suddenly got the terrible urge to use the bathroom. I already had several items and my 5-year-old niece in tow, so I hurried to checkout. I ended up pissing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 752

You deserved it 4 623

By Bailey - 22/08/2010 06:58 - United States

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 759

You deserved it 14 094

Paper-thin walls

By Lauren Davies - 17/09/2019 06:00

Today, I had to tell my 4 year-old, "I'm wiping my butt right now, I can't get you a drink. Please wait a minute." I distinctly heard my neighbor laughing through the bathroom window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 588

You deserved it 319

Duchamp would be proud

By Anonymous - 23/09/2019 12:00

Today, my five year-old niece thought that it would be acceptable to carve her artwork all over our toilet seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 401

You deserved it 172

By ... - 20/01/2019 02:00

Today, I yelled, "Fuck me, oh shit!" instinctively after accidentally spilling boiling hot coffee all over myself. My 3-year-old niece found this hilarious, and won't stop saying "Fuck my shit." Her parents are due to pick her up any moment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 222

You deserved it 766

Take a break

By Anonymous - 04/05/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 114

Express yourself

By Embarassed - 18/10/2024 20:00 - United States - Cleveland

Today, my toddler started chirping, "Mommy’s on the toilet!" while I was in a public restroom at our local mall. She also knocked on the stall door to make sure everyone was made aware of our exact location. FML

I agree, your life sucks 302

You deserved it 121

By MyBallsForSaleOnEbay - 21/08/2015 15:25 - Malta - Naxxar

Today, I screamed like a little girl and scrambled to climb atop the toilet seat when I saw a cockroach running around our bathroom. My 5-year-old nephew came in, slapped it to death and said not to be scared, because he'll always protect me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 149

You deserved it 7 259

Bathroom menace

By Shelly - 07/06/2009 02:25 - United States

Today, I used the restroom at a department store. While I was in my stall, I overheard a little girl say to her mother, "I see someone wearing pink!" I remembered that I was wearing pink just as she finished her thought, "…and she's pooping." She was peeking at me through the stall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 241

You deserved it 3 453

Close quarters

By aunty_social - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I took my 5-year-old nephew camping. I was about to take him to the outhouse for a bathroom break when he flung the door of the camper open and shouted at the top of his lungs to the entire campground, "We are going to poop now!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 630

You deserved it 460

MarioDragon 14

Wednesday 5 October 2011 18:54

Just put toilet paper on the seat and take a shower when you get home

deviable 9

Wednesday 5 October 2011 18:56

It's not like I don't understand why people don't want to use public toilets, but wouldn't it be easier to bring some toilet seat covers? Squatters often cause the most mess.

Comments

Crizack101 0

Thursday 6 October 2011 7:30

Because as we all know, getting germs on your arse cheeks can lead to a horrible and painful death...

StormDewleaf 12

Thursday 6 October 2011 7:33

YDI. Unless you have open sores on your ass or thighs, it's next to impossible to catch anything from a public restroom - and if it's in bad enough condition you think you might, then move on to the next one instead of squatting over it. A shopping center isn't likely to have toilets that bad, and all you're doing is making a bigger mess. Something wet on the seat? There's this little invention called toilet paper, and pee on the seat comes from - guess what! - people who squat over the toilet.

darlingcatch22 1

Thursday 6 October 2011 7:44

Lol that's pretty hilarious

astack1 0

Thursday 6 October 2011 7:51

squatters should be shot for the mess they make. I like that little girl. you're not gonna absorb a disease off the toilet through your butt. get over it and sit like a normal person

MedChew 19

Thursday 6 October 2011 8:43

Woah, squatting on these toilets meant for sitting is a bad idea. There are stories of these potties giving way and squatters receiving extremely nasty wounds from the broken edges. If you sat, you distribute pressure more evenly. And of course, you make a mess on the seat. What a bastard.

Ozma_fml 0

Thursday 6 October 2011 14:00

Squatting or hovering?? I find it weird that you would squat on a western style toilet with a small child in the cubicle :s

NDiesal10 2

Thursday 6 October 2011 15:42

Seat cover? Toilet paper makeshift seat cover? Germs won't kill you...it's not like they're going to climb in your ass and give you an anal infection. YDI for trying to avoid one of life's inevitables - germs. Oh, and your niece sounds adorable, haha...

gunbustah 0

Thursday 6 October 2011 16:51

You know that your hands and fac are a thousand times more filthy than a toilet seat, right? Google it.

iPoopChickens 0

Thursday 6 October 2011 17:37

Kids say the darnest things. Haha

love_me_electric 20

Thursday 6 October 2011 18:19

People like you are the reason the toilet seats get gross in the first place. If people just sat their asses down like they're supposed to no pee/poop would ever get on the toilet seat. Besides, it's not like you're going to get some fatal ass disease from the germs on a toilet.