Kids: Public freakout

Public freakout

By Anonymous - 29/06/2015 21:52 - United States - Tupelo

Today, my 3-year-old pooped his pants in a public bathroom. As I was squatting down, doing my best to clean poop off of his legs and the floor, a wasp flew up my pant leg. I was stung four times before I danced it out of my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 061

You deserved it 1 845

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By targetlove - 10/01/2010 01:23 - Australia

Today, I was in a rush to get to the toilet, I went in and sat on the seat. Then I felt a stinging pain on my left bum cheek. I jumped up quickly to see a wasp splashing around in the bowl. It stung me, and now have a bum cheek twice its normal size, and pee all over my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 306

You deserved it 3 414

By life_sucks - 16/01/2010 18:46 - New Zealand

Today, this huge wasp started flying around me. I freaked out and started running from it. Then I slipped, landed face-first in some dog poo, and got stung by the wasp on my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 027

You deserved it 7 526

Shitty situation

By Anonymous - 21/11/2022 22:00

Today, I had explosive diarrhea. I got off the toilet to change my 3 year-old's poopy diaper. He was being stubborn, so I was going to go back to the toilet, which is when he laid down. I thought I could do it. I couldn't. He ran around diaperless as I ran back to the toilet with liquid shit running down my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 183

By peepants - 04/06/2019 14:00

Today, I was in a public restroom with my one-year old. I had no idea he could reach the lock until he opened the door and ran out. In my haste to catch him, I not only peed all over my pants that were still around my ankles, I faceplanted on the nasty, moist bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 224

You deserved it 334

By matchristityler - 09/02/2010 08:19 - United States

Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 632

You deserved it 4 379

By jbhadafuckedupday - 15/03/2018 01:30

Today, my 3-year-old came to me very excited because he had gone to the bathroom by himself for the first time. What he did not tell me was that he had shit on the floor, and when I went into the bathroom to check, I slipped on a turd and knocked myself out on the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 096

You deserved it 450

Fire hose

By pissedoffandon - 06/05/2009 14:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 943

You deserved it 61 823

By Dafawk - 19/06/2016 20:54

Today, I took my two-year-old out to dinner. During dinner, our son went to the bathroom three times. As we were getting ready to leave he kept saying he had to go potty. He had gone multiple times, so I thought he would be fine. As he stood up, a giant turd fell on the floor in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 299

You deserved it 6 510

By Bob - 20/06/2009 04:22 - United States

Today, while teaching at a daycare, a child came up to me and asked if he could go to the bathroom. Obviously, I said it was fine. He then pulled his pants down, and pee on my brand new shoes, and all over my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 075

You deserved it 4 734

Revealing

By doody - 30/12/2009 22:42 - United States

Today, I was in a busy airport bathroom with my three year-old son. While in the process of pulling my pants down, my son decided to open the stall door. I jumped up to yank the door closed, but not before the line of waiting women saw me with my pants wrapped around my ankles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 258

You deserved it 4 282

pikachurro 18

Tuesday 30 June 2015 11:18

Didn't you know squats make your booty nicer? The wasp just wanted a piece, you can't blame him.

Cassandra2015 21

Tuesday 30 June 2015 11:23

Sounds like mom deserves a glass of wine after those misfortunes !

Comments

Attacksloth 33

Tuesday 30 June 2015 17:05

Today, I flew up a lady's leg and got stuck. Even after stinging her four times, I was still unable to escape. She let out a massive fart. FML

annarcheer 19

Tuesday 30 June 2015 17:13

Motherhood at its finest :)

RealSuperSand 21

Tuesday 30 June 2015 19:22

Put another mark in the "why not to have kids" column.

Karinrinkashi 9

Tuesday 30 June 2015 19:54

i thought that wasps can only bite once?

gallifreyanqueen 10

Tuesday 30 June 2015 20:02

Bees can only sting once. Wasps can sting as many damn times as they want

sbarua219 17

Tuesday 30 June 2015 20:44

This is literally an FML moment lol. Hope you're okay OP

False_Stupidity 41

Tuesday 30 June 2015 21:01

Apparently the moderators and FML staff thought so too, what a coincidence!

sbarua219 17

Wednesday 1 July 2015 3:07

Why's this getting downvoted? Y'all are some butthurt douches

sbarua219 17

Wednesday 1 July 2015 19:23

Why're y'all downvoting this? My comment said nothing to offend OP. Y'all are rude and butthurt

littleking94 14

Tuesday 30 June 2015 21:17

Sounds like the wasp was in a shitty mood.

5FDPmetalhead 17

Tuesday 30 June 2015 21:22

The wasp just wanted some booty And maybe thought you'd get pleasure from pain? Fifty shades of wasp???

S1N9UL4R17Y 8

Tuesday 30 June 2015 22:06

sounds like a shitty day. =/

Exaspera 54

Wednesday 1 July 2015 1:42

What a terrible day for you! I hope tomorrow is better.

megansheeran 21

Wednesday 1 July 2015 2:51

I've been stung so many times that I am terrified of bees and wasps and cringe every time they come near me. I can't imagine how much that sucked.

Keywords

Love Party Awkward Lonely ADHD Transportation Cars Ironic Vacation Work Mental health Miscellaneous Grandparents Accident Covid Health Kids Annoying Shopping Cute Coworkers Dogs Animals Photography Art Videos Exhausted Sex Intimacy Money

The Top

Today, I demanded to know why my boyfriend takes so long in public toilets. He admitted his ex was such a nasty ho, she would drag him into public toilets whenever she wanted dick in public. So now every time he goes in one, he gets a boner and has to "get rid of it" before he can come out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 135

You deserved it 349

Today, I went to the beach. I was in the ocean and I looked over my shoulder and saw a big black spot. Knowing that there were big crabs on the beach, I screamed. Everyone in the water heard including the lifeguards. It turns out it was just my shadow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 704

You deserved it 52 044

The Top

Today at 10:00 pm, someone rang my doorbell 4 times, while I was sleeping. I thought it was an emergency and I opened the door to my neighbor who just want to ask if I had a blackout at noon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 876

You deserved it 158

Today, I had my cigs tucked into my waistband because my shorts didn't have pockets. A friend walks up and asks for a smoke. I say "I've got something you can smoke right here", tugging at my shorts. The "friend" then kicks me in the nuts for being a douche. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 264

You deserved it 43 252

Today, I was walking to school. I started running to catch up with my friend. I yelled her name, and she turned around in time to watch me slip on a sheet of ice, fall face first, and pass out. When she ran to my side, I unconsciously peed on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 385

You deserved it 4 311

Today, I came out to my parents. Their response was basically, "Oh, you’re coming out? But we’ve known for years. It was obvious, so obvious we never knew you were in the closet in the first place." FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 968

Today, I decided to declutter my closet and donate old clothes. Proud of my altruism, I packed everything into bags and drove to the donation center. As I handed over the bags, the volunteer looked at me sympathetically and said, "We're not accepting donations right now." So not only did I just Marie Kondo my wardrobe, I also managed to be a one-person traffic jam for nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 145

Today, after having a pretty rough day, I decided a nice, hot shower would be great. Ten minutes in, the shower head apparently couldn't take the water pressure anymore, and it flew off and hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 334

You deserved it 2 191

Public freakout

Same thing different taste

Shitty situation

Fire hose

Revealing

Top comments

Comments