Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Queasy Lover - FML

Queasy Lover

By dizzy - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Malaysia

Spicy

Today, I discovered that sea-sickness also applies when making love on my girlfriend's new water bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 844

You deserved it 6 156

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Top comments

ambowew 7

Monday 7 March 2011 13:11

There's always the kitchen top, shower, pool table, car, hell even the ground if you're that way inclined. Abandon ship and find another, better place to port, Captain.

Jimboom 11

Monday 7 March 2011 12:30

Here is a top tip for waterbed sex for you OP. Just go with the motion of the ocean and ride the waves of pleasure until you are floating in a pool of orgasmic waterfalls. ;-)

Comments

chorzo 0

Monday 7 March 2011 12:13

is she a beached whale then.

EmoGiana 0

Monday 7 March 2011 14:57

I guess if you think of the place as the ocean... Then I guess so.

pepsie_fml 0

Monday 7 March 2011 16:06

haha

EpicPear 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 8:20

Well at least now you can consider yourself a true semen.

denvan 0

Monday 7 March 2011 12:13

Don't forget his sports bra during the action you don't want to get knocked out.

denvan 0

Monday 7 March 2011 12:16

WTF it was for the man boobs one stupid iPhone

SchiTzenGiglez 0

Monday 7 March 2011 13:13

haha word man I saw that

sephoraprincess 7

Monday 7 March 2011 12:13

water beds are cool! soo jealous...

T3P33_fml 0

Monday 7 March 2011 12:17

so you released your hot sticky fluid on your GF? sweeeet

forest1wolf 9

Monday 7 March 2011 12:45

I kno! I'm jealous too!

T3P33_fml 0

Monday 7 March 2011 12:15

so you release your hot sticky fluid on your GF? sweeeet!

ludachris09 14

Monday 7 March 2011 12:17

Nice....

1958x 6

Monday 7 March 2011 12:17

That's hilarious.

testthecoal 5

Monday 7 March 2011 12:18

Ahoy, I see booty dead ahead!

DanielleWolf 0

Monday 7 March 2011 14:07

haha

denvan 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 10:07

lmao

shaunasykes97 0

Monday 7 March 2011 12:20

You lose.

ConfusionsLoveMe 0

Monday 7 March 2011 22:08

OP's boobs: (.) (.) Her boyfriend boobs: ( . ) ( . ) he wins.

ConfusionsLoveMe 0

Monday 7 March 2011 22:14

Sorry, wrong post.

you_and_me_fml 8

Monday 7 March 2011 12:25

suckss..take the party to your bed next time

agamid 1

Monday 7 March 2011 12:28

urg... i hate waterbeds... now even a bit more...

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Christmas Cute Work Am I overreacting? Holidays Cats Awkward Gifts Shopping Health Friends Hair Relatable Poopoo peepee Money Education Animals Gross Intimacy Sex Cops Neighbours Love Smells Painful First Dates Grieving Music

The Top

Today, our roof collapsed due to water damage. I had saved the money to get the roof fixed months ago, but my wife saw a scare story about gas stoves and demanded we spend the money getting every gas-powered appliance ripped out and replaced. That new HVAC system will work great in a condemned house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 700

You deserved it 195

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 793

You deserved it 3 970

The Top

Today, my mom thought it would be funny to wake me up with a monster mask on, holding a knife, and screaming, "I'm going to kill you!" My first response was to punch her in the face then kick her. Guess who's grounded for a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 487

You deserved it 97

Today, I realized that that tingly feeling on my face when I put a new combination of acne wash, acne medication, and my usual moisturizer on was not, in fact, "it working." It was slowly peeling away the top layer of skin. I look and feel sunburned. I also still have acne and oily skin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 454

You deserved it 6 285

Today, at my job at a ceramics store, I was loading a $300 statuette into a woman's car when I saw a dismembered foot in the trunk. I was so startled that I dropped the statuette and it shattered. Turns out the foot was fake and now my boss says I have to pay for the damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 582

You deserved it 6 121

Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 016

You deserved it 12 626

Today, my friends and I had planned to meet up. One of the friends, Mike, decided to pick me up on the way. Mike called first to let me know, and his kids overheard us and I heard them ask him where he was going. Mike jokingly replied, "To pick up my ugly friend." His kids ask if it was [my name]? We laughed, but damn… FML

I agree, your life sucks 740

You deserved it 129

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through a text message. In retaliation, I started typing a long list of everything I hate about her. Just as I pressed the send button, she text me again saying "Just joking. You know I'd never leave you. Love you babe :)" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 677

You deserved it 31 442