Wanker and Intimacy: Quick thinking

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Quick thinking

By me. - 29/10/2011 04:43 - United States

Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh, I had an itch…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 054

You deserved it 35 410

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 22/07/2017 05:29 - United States - Irving

Today, my dad unlocked the bathroom door and barged in without warning only to catch me, with no clothes on, masturbating. He said, "sorry" but stayed for another 20 seconds to look for his shampoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 205

You deserved it 1 285

By Hard in flip flops - 21/01/2018 06:00

Today, my dad walked in on me jerking off. It wouldn’t have been so bad if I wasn’t Skyping my boyfriend, while both of us were totally naked. I had just told him to “put those toes in your mouth and I’ll cum like you’ve never seen before”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 927

You deserved it 4 762

Play it cool

By Fraser - 08/03/2012 19:03 - Canada

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 211

You deserved it 56 670

Knock first

By jesus christ, dad - 06/09/2013 16:48 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, for the third time since breakfast, I accidentally walked in on my father wanking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 932

You deserved it 7 078

By jack s.b. - 14/11/2013 22:15 - United States - Austin

Today, my dad walked in on me jacking off. He swore and told me to lock my door next time. Later on I heard him snickering and telling my mom that I "jack off real weird." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 085

You deserved it 16 442

Parental advice

By ifeeldirty - 27/10/2011 12:22 - United States

Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 119

You deserved it 8 910

By Anonymous - 20/09/2010 14:58 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my dad touching his knob, in the kitchen, while cooking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 347

You deserved it 4 005

By GoldenTornado11 - 10/05/2017 14:00

Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 174

You deserved it 565

Excuse me

By Anonymous - 30/03/2015 10:30 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, my parents walked in on me, having sex. No, I wasn't having sex. They were. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 332

You deserved it 3 803

But… no! I wasn't!

By Anonymous - 01/11/2010 13:00 - United States

Today, I was laying in bed with the covers over me, when I got an itch on my leg. It felt really good to scratch it so I got really into it. At that very moment my mom walked in, saw me doing a back and forth motion under the covers, gave me a look of disgust, and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 976

You deserved it 5 883

BlacOpsMaximus 5

Saturday 29 October 2011 12:16

Dad: Must have been one hell of an itch Offspring: Yes, it kinda was... O.o Dad: Umm why are there stains on your shorts, & wtf is that smell?? ..

jf7609 0

Saturday 29 October 2011 12:14

LOL, classic!

Comments

M3loni 0

Sunday 30 October 2011 12:45

YDI, lock the damn door next time genius.

AliCat18 12

Sunday 30 October 2011 12:58

wow i can sympathise! My dad walked in on my boyfriend feeling me up. that was terrible and not nearly as bad as yours. im sorry!

asianbanana 5

Sunday 30 October 2011 16:04

scratch that itch!

jaszver 1

Sunday 30 October 2011 20:18

"… from the hooker that gave me crabs."

brandont03 1

Sunday 30 October 2011 21:39

Well played!!!

westsideG 0

Monday 31 October 2011 4:11

What should have happened... Dad: What the hell are you doing?! Kid: I'm ****** beating my meat get the **** out ass wipe!

wweasel 0

Monday 31 October 2011 5:30

Idiots, op is a girl

lisha88 1

Monday 31 October 2011 9:47

Lol good one

loonaticaaron 6

Monday 31 October 2011 21:12

LMFAO HILARIOUS

andre5006 2

Tuesday 1 November 2011 0:44

Now all you have to do catch him in the act

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You deserved it 6 781

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I agree, your life sucks 801

You deserved it 156