Work: Quite the handful - FML

Quite the handful

By Anonymous - 30/08/2011 04:46 - United States

Today, at work, I was walking to the back office, and I didn't know my manager was following me. After I walked through the door, without looking, I reached behind me to close it. Instead of grabbing the door handle, I got a handful of his crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 019

You deserved it 3 888

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By bossgroper - 23/07/2009 20:23 - United States

Today, I was walking through a heavy door at work, so I reached behind me to catch it so it wouldn't slam shut. Little did I know that my boss was walking through right after me. Instead of catching the door, I caught a handful of his crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 936

You deserved it 5 523

By cachucy - 18/03/2012 15:04 - United States - Geneva

Today, I was walking to a café with my soon-to-be boss. While crossing a busy street, I slipped in a puddle and accidentally grabbed his junk to catch myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 723

You deserved it 3 523

Promoted!

By Worst Way To Get Promoted - 25/09/2019 16:00

Today, I walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room of our restaurant. I pretended I didn't see him and quickly closed the door. About five minutes later, he came out, cupped my face in his hands and told me I was getting promoted. I'm happy, but scarred for life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 027

You deserved it 163

Uncomfortable

By bad timing - 03/09/2019 15:01 - United States - Monterey Park

Today, at work, my manager accidentally bumped into me, brushing my behind with the back of his hand. He was a bit embarrassed, so I jokingly said, “You could at least buy me dinner first!” He went to HR and told them I made him uncomfortable. I was just trying to lighten the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 911

You deserved it 370

By Walk of Shame - 13/11/2018 22:00

Today, my boyfriend, who is also my boss, was giving me a blowjob at work. Halfway through, his boss knocked on the door and I had to quickly get dressed and slip out the other door. After leaving, I realized that I was still barefoot and I had to walk back to my desk in front of my colleagues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 465

You deserved it 6 020

By KN - 25/06/2009 14:13 - United States

Today, I went to go give my boss a high five for a job well done. I missed his hand and accidentally slapped his ass on the way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 887

You deserved it 12 554

By poop - 18/05/2009 17:25 - United States

Today, at work, I decided to try and impress this girl walking behind me by holding the door open for her. As she was walking through, I inadvertently pulled the door too hard. It slammed against the wall and ricochet back, hitting her right in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 630

You deserved it 19 524

By Anonymous - 06/07/2012 02:13 - United States

Today, I was called into my first day of work as a cashier. Not even 30 minutes into training, my boss had already "accidentally" touched my ass 7 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 287

You deserved it 2 731

By Pisspants - 17/09/2016 04:39 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I was at work and I needed to pee. In my haste, I forgot to lock the door. A coworker walked in on me and I bolted up mid-stream to slam the door back shut. I had pee down my leg and pee squishing in my shoes for the rest of the day. I can still remember his tone of voice, yelling, "Sorry"! FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 144

You deserved it 2 839

By Hairy Cheek - 15/04/2016 04:27 - United States - Columbia

Today, I was at work and caught my pants on the corner of the door hinge. They tore completely open and my hairy cheek was exposed for the whole office to see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 412

You deserved it 2 158

Next

Top comments

sherryl_fml 0

Tuesday 30 August 2011 11:44

Which one felt better?

misslc 4

Tuesday 30 August 2011 11:46

Did you pull the knob???

Comments

anna15243 6

Wednesday 16 November 2011 21:31

haha did you do anything else? ;)

PlasticKing 3

Monday 28 November 2011 19:57

I can see promotion

alexisssssssss 0

Sunday 26 February 2012 7:45

Trolololol

rockerlove2013 6

Thursday 5 July 2012 21:25

Big??

lininnes 6

Friday 9 August 2013 14:57

Flaccid or stiff ??

slothstronaught 11

Wednesday 18 May 2016 3:37

Sounds like you got yourself a raise. :)

Keywords

Awkward Weddings Miscellaneous My ex Love Jealousy Friends AITA Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Health Relatable Therapy Mental health Thanksgiving Parenting Kids Argument Covid Medication Ironic Cute Sports Proposal Annoying Snow Cold weather Cheating Work Money

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered, "Cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 039

You deserved it 4 250

Today, mid-sex, my wife told me to call her a nasty slut. I was kind of uncomfortable doing it, but I did it to make her horny. She started crying, because she didn’t realise how much it would hurt her feelings. Now I’m not sure if she’s mad at me or herself, but I’m scared either way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 739

You deserved it 280

The Top

Today, I was driving when a couple flipped the bird on me before cutting me off, so I flipped them off back. After they'd got away, another driver thought I'd actually been flipping him off and followed me into a parking lot. This guy was huge, and let’s just say he didn’t give me a chance to explain myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 291

You deserved it 339

Today, my family attended the funeral of an old family friend's baby, who died in childbirth. Afterwards, my husband went around snickering and quietly telling dead baby jokes to the other attendees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 728

You deserved it 6 242

Today, I found a strange brown ball while emptying my husband's underwear from the dryer, more like a marble-sized pellet. It was exactly what it sounds like: a ball of shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 874

You deserved it 104

Today, back in 2018, I had money and a six pack; in 2019 I couldn’t walk and had to have a back surgery; in 2020 I lost over $650,000 and gained over 40 pounds. Now, in 2021 I'm surviving and stress-eating trying not to lose everything I worked for. Fuck, I miss being a kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 025

You deserved it 277

Today, as an aspiring performer, I tried to practice crying on demand by singing "A Little Fall of Rain" and "On My Own" from Les Misérables. It was all going well, until my nose started running uncontrollably and no tears actually came out of my eyes. Maybe acting isn't for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 211

You deserved it 286

Today, I came out to my parents. Now my dad only refers to me as "Nancy Boy", and not in a nice way, that’s if he even bothers to speak to me at all. Mostly he just pretends I don’t exist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 256

You deserved it 342