Intimacy: Rewarding

Rewarding

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 512

You deserved it 17 516

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Top comments

Codezlol 21

Tuesday 22 March 2011 18:59

Tell her that the lady down the street will do it for 100 so she had better rethink her bargain.

maa_rico 4

Tuesday 22 March 2011 19:33

But wait, by the wife doing that isn't she punishing herself also? if not sex for him then not sex for her, unless..........

Comments

hobbestherost666 3

Monday 7 February 2022 21:10

Sounds like she is making excuses not to have sex

spinningrecords 14

Monday 7 February 2022 23:38

Tell her you’re going to go out and negotiate a better deal.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Cute Christmas Am I overreacting? Holidays Cats Awkward Gifts Shopping Health Friends Relatable Hair Poopoo peepee Education Money Gross Animals Sex Intimacy Neighbours Cops Smells Love Painful First Dates Grieving Social Media

The Top

Today, I had to place a call home because a student was late every single day. The mom rudely replied, “Yeah well she doesn’t really like getting up in the mornings. Can’t you just wait and start class like 30 minutes later?” Now I have to have a conference with this spoiled brat and her mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 506

You deserved it 104

Today, my friends and I decided to compare dick sizes one by one. I was last and I was the smallest. I was also the only Asian amongst my friends. They now call me "the stereotype". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 644

You deserved it 29 280

The Top

Today, I had to check up on a 400-pound inmate who was very upset about being locked up. When I got to his cell, he threw one of his own turds at me through the bars. I took a hit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 544

You deserved it 4 440

Today, I pulled a shoulder muscle opening my front door. How are your thirties going? FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 148

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend at the mall. The one who I faked my death to back in Texas so I wouldn’t have to tell her I was leaving for someone else. She moved to Florida too. What a small world. FML

I agree, your life sucks 162

You deserved it 2 508

Today, I was trying on wedding dresses and didn't realise I had started my period. I managed to ruin 6 dresses before I noticed. The company wants me to pay for them. I can't afford it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 291

You deserved it 1 415

Today, my date cried because his mom recently died. Of course, I was sympathetic because I'm a nice person, but he tried to leverage my sympathy into a blowjob in the restaurant toilet. Since we "obviously weren't going to work as a real couple", it was apparently "the least I could do to make him feel better." Creep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 407

You deserved it 198

Today, I begged my parents not to take me to a restaurant for my birthday, but sure enough, they took me to one, along with my siblings, aunts, uncles, you name it. Ordering with them is a nightmare, so after a whole half-hour the waiter still hadn’t gotten everyone’s complicated orders written down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 844

You deserved it 126