Weird, Parents, Dad jokes and Intimacy: Roll with it

Roll with it

By jonasister - 15/04/2012 18:43 - Sweden - Lund

Today, another of my dad's blind dates went bad, so I took him out for a beer. I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and when I came back, two guys were congratulating my dad on scoring such a hot piece of ass, and said the sex must be awesome. My dad played along with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 421

You deserved it 3 348

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 14/06/2013 00:30 - United Kingdom - Southampton

Today, my dad was teasing me, saying a guy would have to be blind to go on a date with me. I then introduced him to my new, visually impaired boyfriend. He hasn't stopped laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 177

You deserved it 7 060

By Anonymous - 15/03/2014 21:02 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, four days after making a $100 bet with my balding, pedo-stache wearing dad over who could get a girlfriend first, he came home and introduced me to his new girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 915

You deserved it 11 672

By Krissy. - 31/03/2009 07:04 - United States

Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper. As we walk out I see these two attractive guys that I know. My dad gets that I think they're cute, so he shouts "Hey babe, how's your stomach feeling now? Will this be enough for you?" They walk away laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 773

You deserved it 4 994

By paige - 01/04/2011 03:18 - United States

Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 727

You deserved it 5 789

Supportive

By arch maester shavayalsharashion - 26/07/2015 17:29 - United Kingdom - Surbiton

Today, I was pouring my heart out to my dad about how I'm such a loser and how I have no friends. He listened sympathetically, until his phone buzzed with a text message. He said, "Balls, the guys from work wanna get shitfaced!" and took a rain check on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 815

You deserved it 2 935

By Starchyld - 11/11/2009 12:21 - Canada

Today, I went on blind date with a guy because both our moms thought we'd like eachother. Things were going really well until I got up to go to the bathroom and he says: "My mom was right, you do have perfect breedin' hips!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 938

You deserved it 4 135

Thanks guys

By Anonymous - 22/07/2009 18:41 - United States

Today, I decided to dress up a little to go out to the bar. I put on a nice shirt, some leggings, and heels. When I walked out the door, my dad said that I looked like a whore. When I got to my boyfriend's house I told him what my dad had said and he replied, "I'd have to agree with him." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 704

You deserved it 62 346

Uh... Okay?

By Champion sucker - 11/08/2018 06:00

Today, I was going out with my boyfriend after recently coming out. On my way out the door, my dad looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Suck that dick like a champ tonight, son." FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 031

You deserved it 1 829

By peaaaak - 03/06/2011 10:17 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad came round to the house. Looking rather pleased with himself he pulled out his phone, grinned, and chucked it over to me. I glanced at the screen to see a naked woman. He smiled and said "I tapped that last night". FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 216

You deserved it 5 053

By hateskool888581 - 12/01/2010 00:28 - Mexico

Today, I went to a nearby nightclub with some friends and the girl I've been flirting for weeks. We were having a good time until this girl and two of her friends got back complaining about some "drunk-old-perverts harassing them". It looks like my dad and his friends are having a good time too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 921

You deserved it 2 347

ambrown101 4

Monday 16 April 2012 3:18

That'll make for an awkward ride home.

perdix 29

Monday 16 April 2012 3:21

Maybe after a few more beers, the joke would be on you. Or in you.

Comments

alexicanaaa 7

Monday 16 April 2012 3:23

This is hilarious! Hahahahaha! :D

lookingforlovee 0

Monday 16 April 2012 3:26

A compliment is a compliment! But I'd leave now if I were you just in case.

ajourdhui 0

Monday 16 April 2012 3:27

Your dad is a perv! w t f

zack11289 3

Monday 16 April 2012 3:28

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

dogluver900 2

Monday 16 April 2012 3:31

It has everything to do with her. Hello

murdersquirrel 15

Monday 16 April 2012 3:38

Dad playing along with the notion that his daughter is a hot piece of ass and he's giving it to her? How could that NOT be morally reprehensible?

The_Hitdude 12

Monday 16 April 2012 3:45

17- You must be new here. *Checks profile* Yep. You're definitely new here.

KunoKanashimi 3

Monday 16 April 2012 3:51

Actually...It really has everything to do with her. Especially with the fact it gives creepy, incest mental images

KiddNYC1O 20

Monday 16 April 2012 5:43

Wait... are you sure you're 22 years of age, 17?

willyd1991 1

Monday 16 April 2012 3:31

Don't buy him too many beers he might actually start thinking it's true :/

blackheart24 10

Monday 16 April 2012 3:33

You shoulda pretended to go and break up with him for cheating on you... With a dog.

LadyJoker21 0

Monday 16 April 2012 3:34

That's sick

dogluver900 2

Monday 16 April 2012 3:36

I totally thought op was a guy in the beginning

WaSiSimiLang 8

Monday 16 April 2012 3:39

What's grosser than feeling your grandpa getting a hard on while you're sitting on his lap? Your father agreeing with total strangers that you are a smoking hot piece of ass