Miscellaneous: Shark Week

Shark Week

By sharkboy - 11/06/2012 02:33 - United States - Honolulu

Today, while at the beach, as a joke, I told my girlfriend that I was a shark. She then poked my eyes and punched me in the nose. When I started to get mad, she just shrugged and asked, "What? You're the one that wanted to be a shark. Don't you watch Shark Week?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 911

You deserved it 31 280

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 20/11/2012 01:15 - United States

Today, my girlfriend looked me straight in the eye and said, "I know about the sea turtles." I asked her what she was talking about and she said, "Next time, shut up or I'll show you pain." I have no idea what she's talking about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 660

You deserved it 2 343

By Anonymous - 24/11/2012 13:59 - United States

Today, I was playing with my four year-old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 471

You deserved it 7 855

By Anonymous - 05/09/2009 07:22 - United States

Today, while I was at the beach I decided to go into the ocean even though the waves looked rough. While I was in the water, I got caught by the riptide and needed to be saved. The reason I was at the beach? I'm a lifeguard. Now all my co-workers won't stop laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 111

You deserved it 18 091

Close up

By Anonymous - 17/07/2014 15:57 - United States - Lancaster

Today, we decided to go to an aquarium for a little family get-away. At the end was a shark viewing deck, and I leaned over the rails to get a better look. How did I find out that my glasses needed to be adjusted? They fell off and sunk right to the bottom of the shark-infested waters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 381

You deserved it 13 608

Jonah begs to differ

By JOTA - 07/10/2020 04:02 - New Zealand

Today, my girlfriend told me she was worried about being eaten by a whale while out kayaking on our holiday tour. I told her that she was way larger than whale food, and that it wouldn’t be interested in her. Now she is accusing me of trying to tell her "nicely" that she's fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 204

You deserved it 371

Freakout

By Brie - 29/05/2011 18:22 - United States

Today, against my wishes, my family and I went swimming with sharks. While in the shark cage, a shark got within a few feet of us. My cowardly bowels objected and caused me to shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 000

You deserved it 11 772

By Unsuspecting - 16/04/2016 12:23 - United States

Today, I started my period almost a week earlier than I expected to. I also happened to be at the beach with a guy that I really liked when it started. He was the one who noticed, and he informed me by saying that we couldn't go back in the water or we would be eaten by sharks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 559

You deserved it 1 739

Love hurts

By wray16 - 26/02/2021 21:30 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 132

By Nerrh - 12/03/2011 10:53 - Australia

Today, I tickled my girlfriend, and her first reflex was to swing her elbow back and break my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 237

You deserved it 33 655

By hero to zero - 04/07/2011 16:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 133

You deserved it 15 186

eeppiicc 8

Monday 11 June 2012 9:05

Eating her would have solved that problem.

Sunyboy 12

Monday 11 June 2012 9:05

Shark week is beast.

Comments

EverdreamOfMe 24

Wednesday 6 February 2013 17:34

How is this a YDI?

Loser10000 9

Wednesday 15 May 2013 1:05

owned

Skylansmile 11

Wednesday 15 May 2013 4:08

Why are the majority of votes "YDI"?!?? Poor guy jokingly says "I'm a shark" to his girlfriend and she pokes his eyes and punches him in the face? Yeah that's cool. I'm a girl, but sorry. I'd never do that. She's kinda a dick.

angeluv_2014 22

Saturday 29 June 2013 3:56

Your girlfriend is awesome. Hold on to her with the jaws of life Sharkboy ;D

Raptorix2012 17

Monday 5 August 2013 5:04

am i the only one that searched up Shark because of Shark Week 2013?

CraZedMadMan 16

Monday 7 April 2014 3:34

What the ****. Jeez bitch much?

umerin 32

Wednesday 18 June 2014 10:56

Act like a shark, get treated like one... I guess.

Thunderstruck14 30

Wednesday 30 July 2014 14:14

Awww, she could've fake-tackled you or something more cute. I guess she doesn't like playing around when it comes to sharks.

thefmlman2011 36

Saturday 4 October 2014 0:07

She's right you know

flyingflies 36

Sunday 28 June 2015 13:12

wow, are you people stupid? the dude just SAID he was a shark, he didn't try to scare her or anything. it was just a harmless, random joke. She is careless and stupid for poking his eyes, the eyes are sensible areas, she could have hurt him easily.