Health: Short, sharp, shock - FML

Short, sharp, shock

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Spicy

Today, I found out that it is never, ever a good idea to put a Band-Aid of any kind on your penis, because eventually you will have to take it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 247

You deserved it 54 117

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Top comments

Jake2195 0

Monday 14 February 2011 12:19

it's called take a shower and it just falls off

DahkLohd 4

Monday 14 February 2011 12:48

Your penis falls off in the shower? Yikes!

Comments

bananamonkee 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 7:29

WTF kind of band-aid are you using? f**king epoxy based? or duck tape with some cotton? or you must have one sensitive little sucker

wannatxt 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 7:43

I'm kind of cerious of why it was there?

rockefoe 6

Tuesday 15 February 2011 9:09

love!

Vaesive 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 12:50

Is the penis new? You should know what not to do to it by the time you can spell. OP isnt very bright. God knows what's gonna happen when a condoms involved...

jonny2x4 0

Wednesday 16 February 2011 3:09

No band aid in the world can hide herpes.

SashafuckinAuten 0

Wednesday 16 February 2011 12:34

Why did u even put one on? Not trying to be rude or anything just wondering why. i just made a acount on here so i am new

i_love_grrr 0

Saturday 19 February 2011 7:59

lol

xGraycloud 4

Sunday 20 February 2011 22:46

you retard!

BabyLuis 0

Monday 21 February 2011 3:22

i hope it hurt :)

madeingeorgia 0

Thursday 14 April 2011 0:29

ha! next time use duct tape!

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Keywords

Gross Poopoo peepee Cats Animals Awkward Smells Love Miscellaneous Embarrassing Painful Health First Dates Work Christmas Social Media Grieving Music Boredom Anniversary Abuse Intimacy Ironic Alcohol AITA Am I overreacting? Transportation Drunk Parents Kids Gun control

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to mix it up and find a good place outdoors to have fun. After an hour of climbing up a rocky mountainside to a completely isolated clearing, out of the way of any hiking path, he was still so paranoid that he finished within 20 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 460

You deserved it 2 166

Today, I had a customer tell me how much she regretted not aborting her expected child, how much she hates the father, and described to me in immense detail what it is like to pee while pregnant. All within the 30 seconds it took me to serve her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 982

You deserved it 3 307

The Top

Today, I was doing laundry, and decided to wash my cat's blanket. He chased me down the stairs into the basement, and I slightly closed the door behind me so he wouldn't follow me. He pushed the door shut, which automatically locks. I was trapped down there for 3 hours until my mom came home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 430

You deserved it 5 855

Today, I left my parents house to drive 90 minutes back to college. As I was getting off the exit for my school, I realized I left my bright pink vibrator sitting on my dresser back at home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 097

You deserved it 73 919

Today, I had a really bad day at work and the only thing that was getting me through the day was the idea of taking a nice, hot, relaxing bath. When I got to my front door there was a shut off notice from the gas company. I won't be taking any hot baths until I come up with the $500 bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 926

You deserved it 49 186

Today, while on a nature hike with friends. I tried to take a selfie at the edge of a cliff with the majestic view as a backdrop, but I slipped and dropped my phone. It's now RIP (resting in pieces) at the bottom of a ravine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 171

You deserved it 1 113

Today, at 3am, my boyfriend's phone notifications kept going off. I attempted to wake him up, but he didn't budge. When I went to silence it, I saw his Ashley Madison notification, followed by Tinder, Zoosk, and Plenty of Fish. We've been monogamous over a year... or so I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 231

You deserved it 302

Today, my best friend was fired from the place we both work at because she's a bad employee. After they fired her she said, "If I go, I'm taking my best friend with me." So they fired me too. I actually liked that job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 275

You deserved it 4 155