Fear and Love: Skittish

Skittish

By sheWontbeOnMyZombieApocteam - 12/07/2015 19:56 - United States - Killeen

Today, while walking home with my girlfriend we decided to take a shortcut in the woods. After hearing a huge noise, she pushed me and ran. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 112

You deserved it 2 877

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Same thing different taste

By Biggie - 12/05/2009 07:49 - United States

Today, I was walking with my girlfriend when she began skipping ahead of me and out in to the street. I saw a car coming right at her so I tackled her to the ground to save her. Turns out the car was stopping and was never going to hit her, and my girlfriend doesn't appreciate concussions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 819

You deserved it 12 940

By Josie - 05/06/2012 04:27 - United States - Florence

Today, I was walking home with my boyfriend. There's a short cut to my house by jumping a fence but he insisted that we take the long way because, "Girls don't jump fences." To prove him wrong, I jumped the fence. I fell and broke my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 232

You deserved it 36 030

By GlueAndCarrots - 29/05/2015 15:05 - Canada - Markham

Today, my girlfriend threatened to break up with me because I crossed the street without holding her hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 217

You deserved it 4 353

By bTOhno - 13/08/2011 06:37 - United States

Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 058

You deserved it 4 732

Bad boy

By VtecKickIn - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was driving home with my girlfriend. As we turned onto our block, she shrieked that our dog was running down the street and into traffic. I jumped out of the moving car and chased him for about a mile, only to give up, go home, and find out it wasn't our dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 210

You deserved it 5 797

By sparkus - 15/12/2015 15:15

Today, while out hiking with my girlfriend, she thought it would be funny to push me down a small hill. It turned out there was a 16 foot drop at the end of it, and now my leg is in a cast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 724

You deserved it 1 739

By Zack - 01/04/2012 21:36 - United States - Duncannon

Today, I woke up to shuffling noises coming from downstairs. Suspecting the worst, I jumped out of bed, and whispered over my shoulder for my girlfriend to stay quiet. Only after going downstairs and taking a swing in the dark with my bat did I figure out it was just my girlfriend foraging for snacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 749

You deserved it 26 520

I know where I'm going

By Anonymous - 18/11/2023 10:00 - Australia

Today, I went on a hiking date with my significant other. Trying to be adventurous and assertive, I suggested we take a shortcut through the woods. We got hopelessly lost and ended up spending the night in a deserted ranger station. Turns out, my idea of adventure is not quite as romantic as it sounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 672

By joe - 31/01/2009 23:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 713

You deserved it 26 843

By johnboy - 09/11/2010 17:08 - United States

Today, I went for a run. When I got home, no one was there so I took off my clothes and laid on the cool wood floor. I decided to call my girlfriend and we started talking in baby voices. That's when my mom walked into the house witnessing everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 834

You deserved it 37 146

gm1beanzz 14

Monday 13 July 2015 10:38

I recommend not taking shortcuts in the woods.

skippydoda 32

Monday 13 July 2015 10:45

Rule #1 of a bear attack: You don't have to be the fastest, just not the slowest.

Comments

MrThump 16

Monday 13 July 2015 10:58

Your a pussy. What did you want your girlfriend to do, stay and protect you? Harden the **** up and stop complaining like a pussy.

ihavenolifehaha 16

Monday 13 July 2015 11:28

You're*

dezman2000 21

Monday 13 July 2015 11:35

I accidentally liked #12's comment and I've never felt more guilty

abstracto1236 15

Monday 13 July 2015 11:42

I disliked #12 just to make up for your mistake

freddygasman 18

Tuesday 14 July 2015 3:36

so that's why #12 sounds so much like a dick head.

___JessLove___ 11

Monday 13 July 2015 11:02

Every man for themselves

LiteralxShit 15

Monday 13 July 2015 11:02

Oh God, I feel like some screenwriter is orgasming over the thought of turn this into a scary chick flick

winterforever97 30

Monday 13 July 2015 11:06

Run Forrest run!

itsme82 18

Monday 13 July 2015 11:23

The look of shock on your face must have been priceless. Lmao

hkhan24 23

Monday 13 July 2015 11:34

Pushing OP was stupid and selfish, if she just ran then fair enough. At least you know where her priorities lie in tough times..

RWBYRose 21

Monday 13 July 2015 12:01

Survival of the… fittest?

Ethan_Anonymous 28

Monday 13 July 2015 12:14

I didn't know you could hear a huge noise

fhlakd 25

Monday 2 November 2015 10:00

loud* for OP

TheGamingGamer 28

Sunday 13 December 2015 6:28

I love this comment.

namibian 13

Monday 13 July 2015 12:34

Did you find out what the sound was?

nyagemini23 22

Monday 13 July 2015 14:29

Lol, her flight response was immediate.

Keywords

Transportation Poopoo peepee Cars Awkward Dentist Health Shopping My ex Love Cats Animals Work Job interview Clothes Miscellaneous Weird Vacation Holidays Family AITA Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Funerals Relatable Harassment Engagement Food Ironic Technology

The Top

Today, I drove past a firehouse that had volunteer firemen taking collections. I take out a $20 and start to roll the window down when I remember my window was broken. I ended up driving by, holding the $20 against the window, staring at the fireman. Now the fireman thinks I was taunting him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 842

You deserved it 17 114

Today, I came home to my drunk husband, to find that he raided our fridge and freezer to soothe his beer munchies. That would have been fine, had he not eaten the top tier of our wedding cake I'd been saving to eat on our first wedding anniversary, which is in 4 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 214

You deserved it 14 071

The Top

Today, I was potty-training my nephew. He had been on the toilet for almost twenty minutes and could not go. My phone started ringing, and as I went to pick it up he knocked it into the toilet. He then peed and pooped on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 946

You deserved it 3 866

Today, my boss chewed me out for correcting several spelling and grammar mistakes in one of his reports. The words "Think you're so damn smart, don't ya?" were uttered. I'm his secretary, and proofreading his shit is part of my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 647

You deserved it 3 216

Today, my girlfriend beat me at ping pong, twenty to three. She said I let her win because I don't respect her, then stormed out of the room. I'm just really bad at ping pong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 472

You deserved it 4 788

Today, I received my Amazon order of a mini massage gun, which I’d been really excited about. I tried it out, but it got tangled in my hair so badly that I had to cut it out. Now I have a bald patch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 259

You deserved it 238

Today, I was in a training about the newest changes in CPR. The trainer was discussing chest compression techniques and said she prefers "good, fast, hard pumping." I was the only one who snickered out loud, drawing several annoyed looks from the other trainees. I'm a 45-year-old doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 903

You deserved it 20 599

Today, after falling on my way out the door, hitting a bird with my car, and sitting in an hour and a half of traffic, I remembered I had the day off work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 200

You deserved it 13 742

Skittish

Same thing different taste

Bad boy

I know where I'm going

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