Love, Health, Pranks and Cute: Skittish

Skittish

By bronzemedal97 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was leaning under a counter to get my girlfriend her favorite snack food out of a low cabinet when she decided it would be funny to poke me while I was in an awkward position. I jerked up, rammed my head on the bottom of the counter, and ended up at the ER with staples in my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 073

You deserved it 3 311

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Same thing different taste

Smooth operator

By Nic - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I put on some skimpy shorts and bent down to get something on the bottom shelf of the fridge to get my boyfriend's attention. On my way up, I slammed my head on the edge of the fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 954

You deserved it 46 062

10 out 10 for execution

By Anonymous - 30/08/2020 13:01 - Australia - Liverpool

Today, I had to squat to retrieve something from the bottom of the cabinet in the bathroom. This caused me to fart and startle myself enough that I jumped and banged my forehead on the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 255

You deserved it 608

Accidents will happen

By Anonymous - 27/04/2009 05:58 - United States

Today, at work, I managed to hit myself in the face with a large sheet pan. The force made me back into a shelf, which knocked a box off the top, which hit me in the head and knocked me out-cold. I now have a fat lip, a sore head, and bruises all over from the fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 016

You deserved it 9 308

By Anonymous - 25/07/2015 04:20 - United States - Tempe

Today, after vacuuming, I struggled to pull the nozzle attachment out. I yanked it too hard and it flew out, hitting me in the face and causing my head to jerk back into the wall behind me. My girlfriend had to drive me to the hospital for my concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 300

You deserved it 3 308

By anonymous - 18/12/2010 09:11 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 422

You deserved it 4 472

By Arielle - 31/01/2012 11:07 - Australia

Today, I went to the hospital emergency room to visit my boyfriend who had badly sliced his leg open. It ended with me being admitted with a possible head trauma, after hitting my head on the wall and floor as I collapsed at the sight of his wound. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 597

You deserved it 4 399

By 352 - 18/04/2012 20:18 - United States

Today, I somehow managed to hit my head on a first aid kit. I now have a cut on my forehead and my boyfriend just keeps laughing from the irony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 330

You deserved it 4 183

By imalwaystired - 21/01/2010 20:20 - France

Today, I opened the cabinet to take a pill for my headache. After taking the pill, I turned around and smashed my head on the open cabinet door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 400

You deserved it 7 644

By Anonymous - 08/05/2015 16:46 - United Kingdom - Loughton

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I sneezed so hard that my head shot forward and smashed against his, sending his head backwards against the wall. He ended up with a concussion, and I still feel like someone hit me over the head with a chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 825

You deserved it 3 845

Make it stop!

By DBR - 23/04/2009 10:45 - United States

Today, my alarm went off. I reached to swat it, missed, slipped, smacked my face on my dresser, and fell on the floor. As I picked myself up off the floor, I hit my head on the open top drawer of my other dresser. In 30 seconds of consciousness, I was attacked by two pieces of furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 899

You deserved it 11 472

justmyluck1212 0

Monday 15 June 2009 20:07

Tell her u've got amnesia & can't remember her

dogsickftl 0

Monday 15 June 2009 20:02

'HEADS UP' Sorry, Couldn't resist. LMFAO must of been funny.

Comments

akiro525 3

Tuesday 16 June 2009 1:39

sexual favors, to make up for it

easylazy 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 2:04

By her "favorite snack," you mean flavored condoms??

JKreider 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 2:08

aww :(

Mr_Robotron 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 2:11

Make up sex wuht?

NoMercy_fml 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 2:43

Boom! Headshot!

Apone 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 2:48

Give her some lovin' tonight in an uncomfortable place.

Qauzzix 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 22:21

What, like in the back of a Volkswagen?

LSeb 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 3:48

Anyone with 'that' kind of sense of humor deserves to be single. What is she, like 5 years old? Dump her.

Sapphy 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 4:36

omg thats sucks, although it sounds like something i would do to my boyfriend :)

amstillives 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 4:49

I feel bad for you. FYL

PureGold 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 5:18

Wow, your girlfriend sounds like an idiot. Perhaps she should have thought that through more? x( FYL.

Keywords

Gross Poopoo peepee Cats Animals Awkward Smells Love Embarrassing Miscellaneous Health Painful First Dates Work Christmas Grieving Social Media Music Anniversary Boredom Intimacy Abuse Ironic Alcohol AITA Transportation Am I overreacting? Drunk Kids Parents Gun control

The Top

Today, we needed a new TV after our old one died. My husband decided to splurge and ordered a 110 inch TV. It just got delivered and my husband now knows just how big 110 inches is. There is no wall in our house this thing will fit on, and the returns process is crazy complicated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 165

Today, wanting to break up with my boyfriend, I invited him to dinner with my parents. I was sure they'd hate him, which would give me the excuse I needed. They ended up loving him, and now they won't stop mentioning marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 729

You deserved it 53 112

The Top

Today, I live in a household of 3 people, with only one vehicle. My transmission blew right after working 16 straight hours. I had to walk 6 miles home, not to mention figure out work tomorrow. Now my oldest, who does not live with me, is pissed because it is an "inconvenience" for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 703

You deserved it 167

Today, I attended a speed dating evening. After 7 minutes, the girl told me she wasn't interested. I asked her at what point of the conversation she had made up her mind, she answered: "When you said 'Hello'. Goodbye". FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 293

You deserved it 2 455

Today, I was supposed to fly Prague, but emergency landed in Vienna. No word from the company or airport. After 4 hours of waiting, I took a FlixBus. Just as it left, I got a call: new plane in 90 minutes. My girlfriend was eagerly anticipating my return, ready for some fun, but now I'm delayed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 150

Today, I was shopping with my baby daughter when an older woman came up to me. She glared and said, "You know, if you kids learned how to keep your legs closed, you wouldn't be a mother at 16." I'm 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 125

You deserved it 4 031

Today, my mom told me to take the trash out. I started to, but then I saw that the trash can had been rolled out to the curb, so I went to my room to put on shoes. My mom apparently took this as me deciding not to take the trash out, as she not only yelled at me, but growled and hissed as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 874

You deserved it 100

Today, the guy I love asked me if hooking up counted as dating, because he thinks I'm "super hot," but he doesn't want "all the relationship shit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 426

You deserved it 5 313