Love, Health, Pranks and Cute: Skittish

Skittish

By bronzemedal97 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was leaning under a counter to get my girlfriend her favorite snack food out of a low cabinet when she decided it would be funny to poke me while I was in an awkward position. I jerked up, rammed my head on the bottom of the counter, and ended up at the ER with staples in my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 073

You deserved it 3 311

New Year, New Blunders
Celebrate the New Year with stories of resolutions broken in less than 24 hours and memorable New Year's Eves... for all the wrong reasons! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Smooth operator

By Nic - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I put on some skimpy shorts and bent down to get something on the bottom shelf of the fridge to get my boyfriend's attention. On my way up, I slammed my head on the edge of the fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 954

You deserved it 46 062

10 out 10 for execution

By Anonymous - 30/08/2020 13:01 - Australia - Liverpool

Today, I had to squat to retrieve something from the bottom of the cabinet in the bathroom. This caused me to fart and startle myself enough that I jumped and banged my forehead on the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 255

You deserved it 608

Accidents will happen

By Anonymous - 27/04/2009 05:58 - United States

Today, at work, I managed to hit myself in the face with a large sheet pan. The force made me back into a shelf, which knocked a box off the top, which hit me in the head and knocked me out-cold. I now have a fat lip, a sore head, and bruises all over from the fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 016

You deserved it 9 308

By Anonymous - 25/07/2015 04:20 - United States - Tempe

Today, after vacuuming, I struggled to pull the nozzle attachment out. I yanked it too hard and it flew out, hitting me in the face and causing my head to jerk back into the wall behind me. My girlfriend had to drive me to the hospital for my concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 300

You deserved it 3 308

By anonymous - 18/12/2010 09:11 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 422

You deserved it 4 472

By Arielle - 31/01/2012 11:07 - Australia

Today, I went to the hospital emergency room to visit my boyfriend who had badly sliced his leg open. It ended with me being admitted with a possible head trauma, after hitting my head on the wall and floor as I collapsed at the sight of his wound. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 597

You deserved it 4 399

By 352 - 18/04/2012 20:18 - United States

Today, I somehow managed to hit my head on a first aid kit. I now have a cut on my forehead and my boyfriend just keeps laughing from the irony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 330

You deserved it 4 183

By imalwaystired - 21/01/2010 20:20 - France

Today, I opened the cabinet to take a pill for my headache. After taking the pill, I turned around and smashed my head on the open cabinet door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 400

You deserved it 7 644

By Anonymous - 08/05/2015 16:46 - United Kingdom - Loughton

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I sneezed so hard that my head shot forward and smashed against his, sending his head backwards against the wall. He ended up with a concussion, and I still feel like someone hit me over the head with a chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 825

You deserved it 3 845

Make it stop!

By DBR - 23/04/2009 10:45 - United States

Today, my alarm went off. I reached to swat it, missed, slipped, smacked my face on my dresser, and fell on the floor. As I picked myself up off the floor, I hit my head on the open top drawer of my other dresser. In 30 seconds of consciousness, I was attacked by two pieces of furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 899

You deserved it 11 472

justmyluck1212 0

Monday 15 June 2009 20:07

Tell her u've got amnesia & can't remember her

dogsickftl 0

Monday 15 June 2009 20:02

'HEADS UP' Sorry, Couldn't resist. LMFAO must of been funny.

Comments

YungMarlon23 0

Monday 15 June 2009 23:01

Sounds like a realy loving relationship...

ohhdamn 0

Monday 15 June 2009 23:03

haha that succcccccccccckkkkss.

MrHippy 0

Monday 15 June 2009 23:06

Hahahaha!! "5 ha! That sucks dude I'm sorry

paperfox_fml 0

Monday 15 June 2009 23:21

That must have been one almighty poke o.O

johnts03 8

Monday 15 June 2009 23:28

This sounds like something my g/f would do to me. I'm sure she wasn't trying to hurt you. Just tell her a b/j will make everything OK.

justme21 0

Monday 15 June 2009 23:38

try what number 5 is telling you it would be funny if she felt for it

Hich17 0

Monday 15 June 2009 23:48

WHY do girls DO that?! Sucks, bro. On the plus side, betcha she never does it again.

Zoa_fml 0

Monday 15 June 2009 23:52

The second sentence is redundant!

pleasedonttellme 0

Monday 15 June 2009 23:53

FHL for having to live with the guilt of doing that...

Artemis_Huntress 0

Thursday 22 April 2010 0:48

How about FHL, she has to deal with the guilt, yeah, but he felt the PAIN, and has to pay the BIll.

coonie1 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 0:09

Did she do that while saying "What What..."

Keywords

Cats Animals Gross Poopoo peepee Love Smells Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Health Painful First Dates Christmas Work Music Social Media Grieving Anniversary Boredom Abuse Ironic Intimacy Drunk Am I overreacting? Alcohol Transportation AITA Parents Kids Gun control

The Top

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 519

You deserved it 15 070

Today, I have an HR meeting to discuss my team's performance. This is the same HR that refuses to hire more people because my department is full. The same HR that complains when tasks are completed late due to the team being overworked, yet refuses to take any suggestions. How do you give feedback to people like this? FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 86

The Top

Today, I made brownies for my co-workers. My boss called me into his office, and I though he was going to compliment me on the baking. Instead, he talked about how his 5-year-old daughter can make brownies better than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 691

You deserved it 6 236

Today, after a particularly gruesome nightmare about spiders due to my irrational phobia, I decided to try and desensitise myself by googling 'house spiders'. I can't stop the feeling of something crawling over every inch of my body, but at least I now know they can live up to six years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 739

You deserved it 7 356

Today, I cut my own bangs. I pulled too much hair to the front and ended up giving myself a mullet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 424

You deserved it 47 195

Today, I cut down a dead tree in my yard. The top hit the ground and the base seesawed up in the air and came down on my head. I hit the ground like a sack of flour. Fortunately, the wood was rotted and soft. Unfortunately, the chainsaw was still running. 28 stitches in my calf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 716

You deserved it 13 716

Today, I was so happy to be leaving the hospital after breaking my arm the night before. Just as I walked out of the doors, a huge ambulance team was running in at the same time, and knocked me down full force. I now have a broken ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 296

You deserved it 2 541

Today, my boss was angry at me because I had filed a complaint about him refusing to change our phone service to something more reliable. Later, a customer called him and said I had hung up on him. I got fired. I didn't hang up on the customer, the phone service just dropped the call. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 059

You deserved it 2 742