Love, Health, Pranks and Cute: Skittish

Skittish

By bronzemedal97 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was leaning under a counter to get my girlfriend her favorite snack food out of a low cabinet when she decided it would be funny to poke me while I was in an awkward position. I jerked up, rammed my head on the bottom of the counter, and ended up at the ER with staples in my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 073

You deserved it 3 310

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By Nic - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I put on some skimpy shorts and bent down to get something on the bottom shelf of the fridge to get my boyfriend's attention. On my way up, I slammed my head on the edge of the fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 953

You deserved it 46 058

10 out 10 for execution

By Anonymous - 30/08/2020 13:01 - Australia - Liverpool

Today, I had to squat to retrieve something from the bottom of the cabinet in the bathroom. This caused me to fart and startle myself enough that I jumped and banged my forehead on the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 255

You deserved it 607

Accidents will happen

By Anonymous - 27/04/2009 05:58 - United States

Today, at work, I managed to hit myself in the face with a large sheet pan. The force made me back into a shelf, which knocked a box off the top, which hit me in the head and knocked me out-cold. I now have a fat lip, a sore head, and bruises all over from the fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 014

You deserved it 9 307

By Anonymous - 25/07/2015 04:20 - United States - Tempe

Today, after vacuuming, I struggled to pull the nozzle attachment out. I yanked it too hard and it flew out, hitting me in the face and causing my head to jerk back into the wall behind me. My girlfriend had to drive me to the hospital for my concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 300

You deserved it 3 306

By anonymous - 18/12/2010 09:11 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 419

You deserved it 4 471

By Arielle - 31/01/2012 11:07 - Australia

Today, I went to the hospital emergency room to visit my boyfriend who had badly sliced his leg open. It ended with me being admitted with a possible head trauma, after hitting my head on the wall and floor as I collapsed at the sight of his wound. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 593

You deserved it 4 398

By 352 - 18/04/2012 20:18 - United States

Today, I somehow managed to hit my head on a first aid kit. I now have a cut on my forehead and my boyfriend just keeps laughing from the irony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 329

You deserved it 4 181

By imalwaystired - 21/01/2010 20:20 - France

Today, I opened the cabinet to take a pill for my headache. After taking the pill, I turned around and smashed my head on the open cabinet door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 397

You deserved it 7 642

By Anonymous - 08/05/2015 16:46 - United Kingdom - Loughton

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I sneezed so hard that my head shot forward and smashed against his, sending his head backwards against the wall. He ended up with a concussion, and I still feel like someone hit me over the head with a chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 823

You deserved it 3 843

Make it stop!

By DBR - 23/04/2009 10:45 - United States

Today, my alarm went off. I reached to swat it, missed, slipped, smacked my face on my dresser, and fell on the floor. As I picked myself up off the floor, I hit my head on the open top drawer of my other dresser. In 30 seconds of consciousness, I was attacked by two pieces of furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 899

You deserved it 11 469

justmyluck1212 0

Monday 15 June 2009 20:07

Tell her u've got amnesia & can't remember her

dogsickftl 0

Monday 15 June 2009 20:02

'HEADS UP' Sorry, Couldn't resist. LMFAO must of been funny.

Comments

YungMarlon23 0

Monday 15 June 2009 23:01

Sounds like a realy loving relationship...

ohhdamn 0

Monday 15 June 2009 23:03

haha that succcccccccccckkkkss.

MrHippy 0

Monday 15 June 2009 23:06

Hahahaha!! "5 ha! That sucks dude I'm sorry

paperfox_fml 0

Monday 15 June 2009 23:21

That must have been one almighty poke o.O

johnts03 8

Monday 15 June 2009 23:28

This sounds like something my g/f would do to me. I'm sure she wasn't trying to hurt you. Just tell her a b/j will make everything OK.

justme21 0

Monday 15 June 2009 23:38

try what number 5 is telling you it would be funny if she felt for it

Hich17 0

Monday 15 June 2009 23:48

WHY do girls DO that?! Sucks, bro. On the plus side, betcha she never does it again.

Zoa_fml 0

Monday 15 June 2009 23:52

The second sentence is redundant!

pleasedonttellme 0

Monday 15 June 2009 23:53

FHL for having to live with the guilt of doing that...

Artemis_Huntress 0

Thursday 22 April 2010 0:48

How about FHL, she has to deal with the guilt, yeah, but he felt the PAIN, and has to pay the BIll.

coonie1 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 0:09

Did she do that while saying "What What..."

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Neighbours Wanker Lonely Halloween Party Jealousy Love Argument Fight Family Animals Cats Parents Sports Health Embarrassing Shopping Medication Anger issues Birds Weddings Pranks TikTok YouTube Dogs Cute AITA Work

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 12

You deserved it 18

Today, my 16-year-old son convinced my 14-year-old daughter that she wasn't allowed to use the ladies bathroom at the shopping centre, because she wasn't wearing a dress like the girl on the sign. He told her girls in pants always used the other one. She believed him. This is my legacy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 069

You deserved it 6 947

The Top

Today, I overheard a waitress calling me a cheapskate because I left a $2 tip on a $9 tab. When I told her she was ungrateful, rude, and unprofessional, she burst into tears and told the manager I’d threatened her. I was then banned from the restaurant, all while the little twat smirked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 014

You deserved it 235

Today, my knee was dislocated. At a haunted house. By a midget. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 652

You deserved it 304

Today, I was out with my brother and his group of very cute friends at a Cheesecake Factory. When the server came to take our orders, she asked me what kind of sauce I liked. Like a complete fuckwit, I blurted, "I like creamy white stuff." The guy across from me choked on his water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 776

You deserved it 8 063

Today, I took a nap, and I had a dream that my ex-girlfriend got back together with me. I woke up in a great mood. When I went back to bed, I dreamed that she broke up with me, again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 639

You deserved it 6 213

Today, I tried to go rollerskating with my kids. I wasn’t even able to fully stand up before I fell and broke my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 134

Today, I finally caved and told a friend about my suicide note. She demanded that I promise I wouldn't follow through, but how could I when I was writing it no more than a few minutes before I joined a call with her? The funny thing is, most of that note was me trying to comfort my friends and family for when I'm gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 219