Health, Injury, Ironic and Miscellaneous: Sliced and diced

Sliced and diced

By ShowOff - 11/03/2010 08:13 - United Kingdom

Today, I tried to demonstrate to my friend how laughably dull our kitchen knives are by swiping one across my palm. Turns out Dad noticed the problem yesterday and sharpened them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 195

You deserved it 53 558

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/05/2019 22:00

Today, I learned how to sharpen a knife. I sharpened it so well that it went through my finger like a lightsaber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 651

You deserved it 489

Stay out of the kitchen

By Anonymous - 19/11/2022 00:00

Today, as part of his crusade to drive me mad by “helping” in the kitchen, my dad used an entire bottle of expensive olive oil I brought from Greece to make fried bread for his breakfast, and he used the edge of my Japanese chef's knife to loosen a screw, so it now has a giant hairline crack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 146

You deserved it 123

By Prae - 01/10/2012 05:47 - United States - Dallas

Today, I washed the dishes for my mom while she was out, as they seemed to be piling up. I accidentally sliced my hand with a knife in the process. After a trip to the hospital, it was revealed she'd been leaving those dishes there "to teach dad a lesson." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 685

You deserved it 2 118

Put it away

By Anonymous - 27/10/2019 22:00

Today, I managed to cut myself twice with a Swiss army knife. Stabbed in one hand and sliced a finger on the other. Good to know it's super sharp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003

You deserved it 986

911 please

By hurts - 04/05/2009 18:48 - Canada

Today, I was helping my friend wash dishes. As I went to grab some tongs to dry them, I impaled my forearm on a knife that was sticking blade up. My friend wanted to finish the dishes before taking me to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 673

You deserved it 4 994

By Anonymous - 13/08/2019 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 134

You deserved it 989

Gammon

By Anonymous - 24/10/2022 06:00

Today, while demonstrating our new meat slicer at work, and after sharpening the blade at the end of the demonstration, I noticed some metal powder. I grabbed a rag to wipe it off, not realizing the blade was still in the “open” position. I now have six stitches and a really painful finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 941

Pointless

By Anonymous - 19/07/2024 13:00 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, I was simply trying to fix my skateboard wheels with my pocket knife. The tip suddenly broke off, leaving me horrified. It was my favorite knife, which I inherited from my dad who abandoned me when I was 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 330

You deserved it 380

By cabatt - 13/01/2019 04:00

Today, I'm a chef and I had a new set of knives delivered. My boss says to me, ''Be careful with your new knives, they're going to be sharp. You don't want to cut your nail off.'' Not 2 minutes later I chop my whole nail off my right index. He jinxed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 219

You deserved it 978

Slicy slicy

By nessacadesa - 24/03/2009 04:47 - United States

Today, I was telling my younger brother and sister how important it is to know how to use a knife properly, all while slicing potatoes. Just as I was saying how stupid people can be with knives, the potato slipped on the counter. I sliced open my hand while talking about knife safety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 989

You deserved it 58 485

itsme88 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 16:13

Duh, you can cut yourself with a dull knife as well. YDI.

Boddmon 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 16:15

You should have demonstrated on your neck instead of your palm. Perhaps then the punishment for your stupidity would have been more suitable.

Comments

loginbeen 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 18:05

lol I did that before

phatdaddy 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 18:14

A sharp tool is a safe tool, but NOTHING is idiot-proof.

FYLDeep 25

Thursday 11 March 2010 18:23

So the knifes were sharp after all. Where's the FML?

idkweird 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 18:39

That she didn't know they were sharp and, therefore, sliced her hand.

FYLDeep 25

Thursday 11 March 2010 19:52

No the OP is from the UK. That's perfectly normal over there.

judetheobvious 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 18:31

YDI, not least for confirming the myth that all brummies are thick as pigshit

r21s03 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 18:37

haha @8 I'd be scared of vamps more then sharks

Wileypube 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 19:14

Nice one, Worf.

letmeinplease 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 19:56

'Laughably dull'... That's how you entertain your friends? Showing them how useless your knives are? At least you hurt yourself and gave them some real entertainment.

cono1717 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 20:00

And your dad just stood there and watched you do that?

thrice324 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 21:45

Where does it say anything about her dad being in the room? She most likely found out that he sharpened them when her dad asked about the gash in her hand. And no she wouldn't have figured it out herself after slicing her hand open, OP has already proven to be too dull for that.

protooler31 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 20:16

one of the reasons why dull knives are MORE dangerous than sharp ones... since you are more likely to play with them like toys and do stupid shit with them because if they aren't sharp, they aren't dangerous, right? wrong....YDI