Embarrassing, Cigarettes and Health: Smoking is so cool - FML

Smoking is so cool

By Burnt - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I accidentally set my hair on fire while lighting a cigarette. I panicked and put it out by slapping myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 897

You deserved it 61 546

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

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Same thing different taste

Doofus

By Coykoi - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, not only did my boyfriend set my hair on fire, but he attempted to put it out by dumping bong water on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 924

You deserved it 10 432

The struggle

By lizi - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Saint Andrews

Today, I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to take my bra off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 047

You deserved it 838

Dumbass

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, we were having a little bonfire. At some point, while I was inside, my stupid roommate filled a beer can with lighter fluid and threw it in the fire, resulting in it spewing 5-foot flames, catching the pile of wood and the chair next to it on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 987

You deserved it 248

Frostbite

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was cold and alone at work, so I decided to try and warm myself up on the panini toaster. As I was holding the top side open and my other hand over the hot metal, I accidentally closed the door on my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 525

You deserved it 41 854

Ten out of ten performance, no notes

By Jesska - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was applying Icy Hot. I squeezed the bottle too hard making it squirt in my eye. I ran to the bathroom in agony, turned on the faucet, and slammed my face right into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 739

You deserved it 7 238

Use the force

By BlueMacaw - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Lake Elsinore

Today, I accidentally threw a glass of iced tea in my own face, because the restaurant I'd been going to for over a decade switched from heavy glass mugs to identical light-as-a-feather plastic mugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 438

You deserved it 4 697

Dude, what the…?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I woke up to my apartment filled with smoke, fire alarms blaring. My roommate set my kitchen on fire while making hot dogs. This is the fourth time this has happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 044

You deserved it 4 755

Easily distracted

By Jeanine - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I returned to my apartment to find everything reduced to ashes, hidden in black clouds of smoke. Turns out there was a blackout, and my fiancé lit a candle on top of a stack of all our wedding papers. When he smelled the smoke, he got hungry for a taco and left instead of calling 911. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 369

You deserved it 5 827

Bad hair day

By Tony - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff

Today, I was fired for having a haircut that was 'inappropriate for the workplace'. I have alopecia. My boss told me to stop making up excuses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 330

You deserved it 2 642

Right back!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, while I was eating spicy wings, I suddenly sneezed. I was sitting in front of a fan and effectively maced myself when my spicy sneeze blew back into my face and eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 410

You deserved it 932

Next

Top comments

fmylifedam 0

Monday 2 May 2011 16:23

don't smoke then

xxxInsanexxx 9

Monday 2 May 2011 16:24

Burn! Get it? Yes? No, bad pun? Sorry.

Comments

Monii_Harlz 11

Monday 2 May 2011 18:23

smoking is a personal choice, (but a dumb one at that) I kno and have regrets from it!! I had to LMAO at this tho!!!! karma is a bitch what can I say ?!

Donna626 0

Monday 2 May 2011 18:25

That's what you get! ha!!

paramedicgirl87 4

Monday 2 May 2011 18:27

Oh my goodness I laughed so hard at this. Way to go OP, way to go...

ceddyz17 10

Monday 2 May 2011 18:34

haha use that smokeless tabaccie

AustrianChaos 3

Monday 2 May 2011 18:48

You could post that you got raped and beat into a temporary coma by 5 strangers on a dark alleyway - as long as you smoked a cigarette before, you'll definitively deserved it. At least according to this website. If you post anything related to smoking on this site, prepare to get bashed.

AustrianChaos 3

Monday 2 May 2011 18:54

*you've. Goddamnit.

shortie_sauce 0

Monday 2 May 2011 18:58

in the words of a wise young Rudy Huxtable: " you shouldn't smoke cigarettes. they make your breath stink, your lungs dirty, and then you die!!" that about sums it up :]

ilikeemsmall 4

Monday 2 May 2011 20:02

Or...you don't smoke..and you still die.

LoriBrooke 0

Monday 2 May 2011 19:09

It's called a joke. Tsk, tsk.

drumchick4ever7 0

Monday 2 May 2011 19:27

there is no need to smoke. so maybe you will stop?...

OrderXsoL 0

Monday 2 May 2011 19:46

A bitch slap for a bitch.

Riemurasia 0

Monday 2 May 2011 19:58

Where is the What the ****?!-button when you need it? :P You got a reason to stop smoking now at least ^^

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Keywords

Health Gross Healthy Lifestyle Poopoo peepee Christmas Work Ironic Video games Holidays Gamers AITA Love Embarrassing Public freakouts Am I overreacting? Gifts Racism Miscellaneous Family Toxic Drunk Friends Coworkers Furniture Parents Intimacy Sex Relatable Lonely Money

The Top

Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 029

You deserved it 3 407

Today, it was my first time having sex with this guy. After a few second he stops, sits in the corner of his room buff-naked, with his knees up and his hands on his face. He then pouts and claims it was his worst performance ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 034

You deserved it 4 225

The Top

Today, I was walking outside when I saw my best friend about 100 meters away. I began running towards her, arms flailing, screaming out a tribal battle cry. It wasn't until I was nearly on top of her that I realised it was someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 519

You deserved it 37 207

Today, it’s been at least the 20th time I’ve heard the “porn stars” (meaning the couple who moved upstairs) going at it like rabbits. I've tried covering my ears, and it doesn’t work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 977

You deserved it 218

Today, I thought it would be funny to tickle my daughter's foot, which she hates. One bloody nose, multiple scratches and 4 toe-shaped bruises later, she's the one laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 643

You deserved it 58 259

Today, I had to study for an important test but I could barely focus because my roommate had his music blasting at full volume. Since we get along well, I decided to put up with it. I just found out he forgot to turn it off and left over 6 hours ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 889

You deserved it 12 935

Today, I went to work despite having a nasty cold. I didn't call up sick because last week when I called in, my boss said I was being "unprofessional and unacceptable." My boss sent me home with a written warning today, claiming that coming to work sick was "unprofessional and unacceptable." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 774

You deserved it 3 777

Today, my boyfriend gave me an ultimatum: either get an abortion, or he’ll move out to go work for his brother, and good luck chasing him up for child support because his brother lives abroad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 221

You deserved it 287