Smooth talker

By ugh - 31/01/2012 00:25 - United States

Spicy
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
I agree, your life sucks 36 969
You deserved it 5 604

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Glitterhinoceros 14

Yeah, that's not very attractive >.>

Comments

Cause tushy is totally an attractive word right?

CaptainPickles72 18

It's better than poop shoot, dumper, back bubble, hiney, hind end, bum, patootie, fanny, and caboose.

Tushy sounds like something a 3 year old would say.. "mum, can you wipe my tushy?"

If a kid can say that, they can damn well wipe their own tushy.

@143 you obviously don't have kids LOL. First of all, potty training usually begins around 2 or 2 1/2. If your kid hasn't spoken by then, it's time to have them evaluated. Second of all, it's very normal for a parent to wipe or at least double-check after #2s until 5. Because, let's face it, 5 yr olds think they have better things to do than wipe, and when they do they often miss some. You actually have to send a change of clothes to the school until K or 1st in case of a potty accident. And I really would hope that a 5yr old can form a basic sentance.

pinkcrayola 0

It's a new form of birth control!

pppooppp 5

"I want to fellate you so bad". I died. I fellate You fellate We fellate They fellate Oh dear. Tell her you're not into "dirty talk" and hope to god she doesn't do it again. Thanks OP, this was a nice laugh.

Stan_Cubed 7

'I fellate, you fellate. He/she/we fellate. Fellatology, the study of fellating?! It's first grade, Spongebob!' Anyone??

Ahhh, Spongebob. Wumbo. Those were the days. ...But this connotation just completely ruined my childhood.

babygirllove 0

Yeah i see how that could turn you off..

A tushy? That probably made you feel like a rapist.

She sounds rather amazing. How could that turn you off? I crack jokes during sex with my husband and it really gets his juices flowing :D

mama2b3 20

I think it was the fact that she wasn't joking..

Except it's pretty obvious he didn't....

Yea it can be difficult to **** when your wiener is inside of your own body.

husky22 0