Sex and Intimacy: Smooth talker

Smooth talker

By pixie - 17/02/2009 08:10 - United States

Today, I had sex for the first time with a guy. After he passionately made love to me, I turned to him and said, "You smell really good." He turned to me and said, "You don't." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 851

You deserved it 13 789

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Same thing different taste

By Andrew - 12/10/2011 01:11 - United States

Today, I was cuddling with the guy I'm dating and said, "You smell good." His response, "You don't." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 351

You deserved it 13 388

To each his own

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 14:00

Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 459

You deserved it 237

By notsohappy - 18/02/2009 21:14 - United States

Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 118 917

You deserved it 11 084

Congrats

By Anonymous - 27/01/2013 22:44 - Canada - Rosetown

Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 822

You deserved it 8 593

First time?

By kelscait - 01/07/2009 22:26 - United States

Today, I had my first kiss with this guy that I really liked. We started making out and he stopped and had this bizarre look on his face. I thought he was liking it, so I said, "You're a good kisser, you wanna go to the bedroom?" He replied with, "I'll pass, you have really bad breath". FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 038

You deserved it 57 427

By Anonymous - 14/12/2018 14:00

Today, after weeks of no sex, my boyfriend finally decided to have sex with me. While we were getting into it I accidentally farted in his face while his mouth was open. No more sex for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 669

You deserved it 2 145

By Anonymous - 10/01/2012 03:30 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards, he said he was in love with me and that he wants to be with me forever. It was also at this time I realised that I can't stand him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 247

You deserved it 38 805

By FMLFMLFMLFML - 29/05/2009 17:52 - United States

Today, I had sex with a new guy. After we were done, he noticed my lighter on my nightstand and said "I've always wanted to try that!" He put the lighter by his butt and fart into it, producing a flame. After, when he left, I sat there, naked, mortified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 203

You deserved it 14 885

Douche

By YouDontSay - 10/05/2015 15:35 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for ages. We were lying in his bed afterwards, and he mumbled the word "happy". I thought it was really sweet, until he repeated himself. "My girlfriend probably won't be too happy about this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 583

You deserved it 6 917

Nomnom

By wow babe - 19/11/2012 17:46 - United States - Arnold

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 092

You deserved it 5 623

Hannah_fml 0

Tuesday 17 February 2009 16:19

Harsh for the first time, but I wish I could think up comebacks that fast. Mine always come like 30 seconds later, which, is not really a long time, but it is to have a 30 second break in a conversation.

Chocolate_Chunk 2

Wednesday 18 August 2010 8:15

THINK OF DE CHILDRUN!!

Comments

hellokittywhore 0

Friday 23 July 2010 0:41

at least he didn't say you taste bad. THAT would be a better FML. plus everyone getts sweaty during sex. if it's good sex. :D

ferrettamer 6

Friday 10 September 2010 2:19

42 that doesn't mean she is bi...

truehitman2010 0

Wednesday 13 October 2010 3:49

well you do have cum on/in you

becsadoodle 0

Monday 21 February 2011 10:57

that's a shame to have ur first sex with a guy who called u smelly u should have better sex

jacetopia96 1

Tuesday 29 March 2011 7:58

thats what I was thinking.

jdawg2010 0

Monday 4 July 2011 16:31

at times like this, it'd be appropriate to say, "and you sir, are a douche."

axgirl89 5

Wednesday 20 July 2011 13:53

Did he know it was your 1st time with a guy? If so, he may have been attempting, and failing, to keep things from being awkward afterward by joking around with you...